


The First Time

by 3todream3



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Imprinting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, POV Jacob, Post-Breaking Dawn, Smut, Table Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-04-30 04:58:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14489328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3todream3/pseuds/3todream3
Summary: This story begins shortly after Breaking Dawn but has Jacob leaving once he finds out that Bella is going to marry Edward. He doesn't imprint on a baby girl and hasn't seen Bella in twenty years. Here's my version of Jacob meeting a grown Renesmee and what happens next...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Up first is Renesmee's point of view, and then we'll see Jacob's in the next chapter. This story begins shortly after Breaking Dawn but has Jacob leaving once he finds out that Bella is going to marry Edward. He doesn't imprint on a baby girl and hasn't seen Bella in twenty years. Here's my version of Jacob meeting Renesmee and what happens next...

~o~O~o~  
"For the first time, I feel love."  
~The First Time by U2  
~o~O~o~

_Men._

  
They make me sick. I could happily go through the rest of my life without ever seeing another dick with a dick - all they do is string you along and break your heart. As soon as you think you've found someone you love, they go and fuck it up. I'm done with them.

  
At least human men. Clueless, fragile humans.

I continued my internal rampage as I walked down the hall, heading back to my room. My parents were attending a wedding in one of the ballrooms of this swanky hotel. I didn't want to go because I didn't know these people. Should I call them people? Is that an appropriate word for shape shifters? I began to ponder, but soon realized that I didn't want to go when the man I was in love with would be here for a romantic weekend. I had other things on my mind, and being surrounded by people I didn't know wasn't what I wanted at the moment.

Skipping out on a wedding didn't seem that bad of an idea at the time, especially when I had a boyfriend who said he would fly out to Seattle after he finished work. I rarely left New Hampshire, so the trip was going to be fun, or so I'd thought.

I usually only came to the northwest to visit my grandfather, but those visits were scarce. My family left this area before I was born. Staying here and having a child would be difficult under the circumstances my family faced.

Mom's quick wedding to Dad, her super short pregnancy, and her transformation were already enough to cause problems in the small town of Forks. My family had run out of lies. Then there was me. I was an anomaly, a freak, and my existence would be questioned beyond the understanding of the mortals around us. That's why we moved to the other side of the country. My family was already a side-show in a circus, so adding a half-human, half-vampire to the mix really, really made a site to behold.

My family relocated, changed jobs, and started new schools all in an effort to keep me normal and safe, something they thought would be impossible in Forks where my parents had met and fallen in love.

I know there were other reasons for them to reluctantly leave their home, but no one had dared to explain them to me, and I don't push to know. There was too much sadness there for my mom, thus fueling her need to start anew. My mother gets quiet when life before my birth is mentioned, and coming to this wedding was no easy undertaking.

Apparently the shape shifters and my family have a history. A good, a bad, and an ugly history. But the good must have outweighed the bad because they felt compelled to come see Seth Clearwater marry his imprint. My mother said she owed her life to him and not coming to the wedding wasn't an option.

Imprint. I laughed when I first heard that word. Poor girl. Seth's bride-to-be had no choice in picking someone to love because she'd been sucked in by the tractor beam of Seth's imprinting magic. Glad it wasn't me.

But on the other hand, trying to find love on your own wasn't that much fun either. It sure as hell wasn't working for me. Obviously. I couldn't even get a warm-blooded human to love me.  
I had decided to skip the wedding altogether for this asshole. I thought tonight might finally be the perfect chance to be together. We'd be alone in a beautiful, vibrant city, away from our boring life in New Hampshire. My father would be otherwise engaged at the wedding, so trying to keep tabs on me wouldn't be at the forefront of his mind.

John hated how overprotective my father was and often ranted about how our romantic life suffered because of it. Let's just say that my father didn't give us many chances to be alone. We'd dated for almost a year, and John seemed patient with me and my desire to wait to have sex with him. I just didn't know how much longer he'd want to wait, and I thought tonight we could change all that.

That changed when I surprised him in his room.

Getting his room number and a key from the front desk proved to be of little challenge, and I didn't even knock as I entered. To my shock, I heard a woman's voice screaming John's name as I walked through the suite towards the bedroom. My heart sank, knowing what I'd happen upon. I really didn't want my suspicions confirmed, but I felt drawn to the room, unable to turn and run away from something that would surely bring me pain.

Then I saw them, entangled with one another and saying the things lovers do in the throes of passion. It took a moment for him to see me and witness the look of complete devastation on my face. The hussy looked disappointed, not at being caught, but because her imminent orgasm was cut short. I didn't care. All I saw was the man I loved, and whom I thought loved me, fucking someone else.

I turned and ran from the suite in tears, listening to him yelling behind me that this woman meant nothing to him and how he just met her on the plane. I kept running, realizing that this probably wasn't the first time he'd cheated on me. Before I stormed out of his room, I turned to tell him where he could shove his pencil dick; I didn't want him anymore.

I just ran. I tried not thinking about the happy celebration going on downstairs below me. Two people were marrying because they had fallen in love; no matter how forced that love seemed, they were still in love. There was dancing and laughing going on while I walked down the brightly lit hall crying, feeling my chest contract painfully. So this is what being heartbroken feels like?

As I ran down the marble halls in haste, I found a small crack just wide enough to catch the heel of one of my jeweled Giuseppe Zanotti's. It broke right off. These were fantastic shoes, goddammit! Could anything else go wrong? I thought to myself, beginning to wallow in my sadness.

I hobbled to the elevator, listening to the clink of the heel that wasn't broken as I did. I began wiping my eyes with the scarf I'd wrapped around my neck, wishing to be in my room as soon as possible. The sounds of laughter were all around, and the smell of hydrangeas filled the air, reminding me of someone else's happiness.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the elevator door and could already see my mascara running down my cheeks. My eyes then fell to the strapless, satin dress that I'd bought just for tonight. Money was no object when I'd searched for the perfect outfit, but now it seemed like money wasted.

I shook my head, thinking how I'd even made sure it was short enough to show off my legs because John loved my legs. He never could keep his hands off of them. I cried even more, noticing my plunging neckline that showed off the girls, but they sat alert and perky, all for nothing.

My body began trembling in embarrassment, and I couldn't wait to get to my room and soak in the tub to try and forget this terrible night. I wanted to wash away the humiliation I felt at being so stupid and clueless. I pushed the up button of the elevator again because it wasn't moving fast enough for me and crossed my arms to try and keep myself from falling apart. I felt like a fool standing alone in this hallway, waiting.

Finally I heard the ding, the doors opened, and I started to get in as quickly as I could at my well-rehearsed human pace. Then I noticed him, and my forward motion stopped.

Leaning against the back of the elevator was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He wore a tuxedo; the bow tie already undone, hanging loosely. The top two buttons of his dress shirt were undone, exposing his caramel skin underneath.

His head hung down, and his arms were spread out on either side of him, gripping the handle. My presence didn't startle him, and I watched as he slowly raised his head, making direct eye contact with me. He had a sad look, but somehow, I thought I saw a spark when our eyes connected. I felt an impulse to run my fingers through his dark, tousled hair but managed to refrain.

I didn't know what to do, but I had to get on the elevator. Something that I couldn't explain pulled me forward. My body quit its trembling, and it immediately burned for this stranger standing in front of me. My breathing hitched, and I suddenly heard a heartbeat that wasn't my own. Could he feel it, too?

My first instinct was to flee, but it would look crazy for me to run away like a little school girl who didn't know how to act around a boy. I struggled with making a coherent thought and knew I needed to step into the small space with this mysterious man.

I wiped my eyes again and put my best broken-heeled foot forward. I struggled to breathe and soon found the strength to inhale and exhale. Another look from those black eyes made my mind go blank all over again. Then his mouth gave a cocky smirk, making me lose track of the breathing I thought I had under control.

I silently thanked what's-his-name for fucking the blonde bimbo and then stepped into the elevator.  
~o~O~o~

  
Big thanks to JKane180 for being my fabulous beta and to Pemberlyrose who helps me with her Twilight knowledge.


	2. With or Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't live with or without you."  
> ~With or Without You by U2

~o~O~o~

What the hell, Seth?

Why would you not fucking tell me that the two of them would be at your wedding?

Raging with anger, I vaguely remember yelling at Seth right before the ceremony began. A few choice words came out of my mouth. I don't remember exactly what they were, being too upset to be nice. I'm pretty sure I made an ass of myself in front of everyone, but I didn't fucking care. I felt like I had been betrayed by my pack brother. He should've fucking known better.  
I knew I was supposed to be a groomsman and stand by Seth when he married Aylen; God knows he waited long enough for her. But how the hell did he expect me to stand next to him while they sat in the congregation? I hadn't seen them for twenty years. Surprisingly, I realized today that I might need at least fifty more. Time had not healed my wounds.

I had no desire to watch Bella be sappy with Edward in their wedded bliss. Sparkly dickhead took my world away from me. I thought I'd dealt with these feelings and had gotten them all out, but apparently I was still bitter.

As if she were the only person in the room, I immediately found her and saw her unusual golden eyes look at mine as I walked out to stand by the groom, who waited for the bride. They weren't the color brown I'd remembered...that I'd loved. That's when it happened. I snapped, and anger burned internally, causing my whole body to tremble. Needing to leave before I phased in front of the unsuspecting guests, I bolted for the nearest exit.

I hated to do this to Aylen. She didn't deserve to have me walk right out right before her long-awaited nuptials, but I blamed Seth for not fucking telling me he invited Bella and her bloodsucker husband...shit, Bella was a parasite now, too. She'd been changed not long after the wedding, and that it happened when she gave birth to whatever demon spawn she and Edward had conceived on their honeymoon.

I remembered her telling me like it was yesterday about how she was going to have a real honeymoon. Sometimes I wonder if she just said it to drive the knife just a little bit deeper into my heart. Sure, brag about how you're going to let him fuck you while you're still human. Awesome. That's exactly what a guy wants to hear from the woman he loves but can't have. She wanted to still feel those human emotions before she became a leech and all that stupid, girly shit.

I remembered freaking the fuck out when I heard that; I knew he was going to kill her when he followed through with her wishes but not by his huge vampire dick or anything; I'm pretty sure I'd win that contest, but by his sheer strength. She refused to listen to me, and it was then I knew I couldn't take it anymore. Bella was gone from me, and I wouldn't agree with any of her choices from that point on. I left town in agony, knowing she would be sleeping with him...and not me.

Quit thinking about their honeymoon, you idiot! After bolting, I didn't want to know anything about her life, but the pack mind made that part difficult. It got so bad that I'd go without phasing for as long as I could because every time I did, the guys would beg me to come home, and it was never long before one of them thought of Bella. I just couldn't handle it. I hated knowing the girl I loved had married someone else. Knowing she was a leech and a mom to a half-breed leech disgusted me even more.

I had even smelled their horrid, bloodsucker scent in the ballroom before I even saw Bella, which made the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. I couldn't believe the other guys were okay with them being guests, but then again, most of them didn't hate the Cullens like I did. At least I knew Paul would be on my side. Team Jacob, motherfuckers! would be our motto.

Fucking elevator. Move! I hit the wall I leaned against; it dented beneath the force. I chuckled because I didn't feel any pain. Stupid, old elevator; it just moved too slowly for me. I thought I could rush back to my room, grab my stuff, and get the hell out of here before anyone would try and stop me, but this slow-as-fuck, ancient elevator was going to mess up my escape plan.

I knew I couldn't go back to La Push for a while; I didn't need to deal with the shit everyone would give me for leaving the wedding the way I did. I could probably head back to San Francisco and hang out in my old stomping ground for a while, but Seth and the others would know where to find me. Even my dad would kick the shit out of me from his wheelchair, and it wouldn't be pretty. I would let him because I deserved it for acting like a heart broken, sixteen-year-old teenager all over again.

I guess I'm good at running away. Could I be any more of a pussy? A thirty-six-year old man running away from his problems. Nice.

My fingers pulled the damn tie loose on my damn tuxedo because it was choking me. Fucking monkey suit. The top few buttons of the over-starched shirt had to be undone, too, so I could get some air. It's hot as hell in this elevator! I laughed at that thought; I'm not usually affected by temperatures, but right now I was on fire more than usual. I had to calm myself down before I exploded into my other personality in this tiny elevator. It wouldn't be a good thing. The Quileutes had our secrets to keep.

Just as the elevator really got moving, it slowed to a stop again. I should've taken the stairs; it would've been much faster. I really didn't think anyone needed to be with me on this thing. They'd probably turn me into the cops for acting like a crazy person who just escaped from the loony bin once they stood next to me for a few seconds.

My mood changed suddenly as a scent hit my nose that I couldn't doors hadn't opened yet, but I could already smell whomever was on the other side. The scent was unusual, something completely new to me. Citrus, maybe? I had no clue how to describe what emanated into the small space all around me. I became immediately consumed by the scent.

The doors opened, and anything I had been thinking about before disappeared; my anger subsided. I looked up and smiled before I realized what was happening. Bella fucking who? I thought to myself. Then her name completely left my consciousness...finally.

My body froze in place as I watched a drop-dead, gorgeous red-head and her long legs step onto the elevator with me. I noticed her hesitation, but then I saw her eyes meet mine, and her obvious reluctance seem to disappear. I heard a heart racing, and realized it was mine about to pound out of my chest.

What the hell's going on?

Then all I saw was light, a thousand points of light all directed at her. It was like a laser show after an eighties, big-haired, rock concert in the stupid elevator that only I could see. I felt that somehow these strands of light were connecting me with her in some supernatural way. Holy fucking shit! I started to repeat to myself in my head as I watched her entire frame glow with the light that illuminated all around her.

Fuck no! This isn't happening to me. But it was happening, and I couldn't do a thing stop it.  
I actually thought I'd escaped the imprinting that had all my brothers whipped. I was almost middle-aged by human standards and hadn't experienced it yet and thought I never would. I was proud of that fact and deemed myself lucky. I went about my life being in relationships with whomever I wanted, thinking there couldn't possibly be a soul mate out there for me.

I tried to close my eyes but couldn't. This girl had me sucked in, and I soon figured out that I didn't want to take my eyes off her. I wanted her. I had to have her. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever had the honor of seeing. Her body was perfect, and her face...angelic? But there was something more to her than her looks. I could sense an inner goodness that intrigued me more than the outside package, but the way she looked in that short dress didn't hurt either. I was completely and madly in love with this person who stood two feet from me.

And I didn't have a clue who she was.

I watched as she tried to remove the smeared mascara from her cheeks with her scarf. Had she been crying? Shit, it already bothered me that something had made her cry. If I wasn't a pussy before, I most certainly was now.

I'm an imprinted pussy, and I can't do a damn thing about it. Figures. I leave a wedding to escape the stifling romance only to find my imprint. It's a banner day for ya, Jake. Really.

"You okay?" I heard myself ask.

"I'm doing much better now...thanks," she responded back to me, giving me a small, lop-sided smile. My stomach did a flip at the sound of her voice. It sounded like music, and I wanted to hear more of it.

She mumbled something about her shoe, and I let my gaze wander slowly down her body, paying close attention to the miles of skin exposed below the short dress. I stopped at her thigh, noticing how creamy her skin was and finding my hand itching to touch her there. I soon remembered why I began looking down in the first place and found one of her heels had been broken.

I smiled, watching her struggle to undo the straps of the broken shoe while trying to keep from bending down. I assumed she knew her dress would reveal a little too much cleavage if she tipped over. I wished she would bend over more. Her bare, ivory skin needed to be seen, but only by me.

She quit messing with her shoe and mumbled again. "What floor?"

She looked at me nervously after she surveyed the elevator buttons, unable to figure out her obvious dilemma.

"You having trouble?" I smiled, taking a step forward in her direction.

"Yeah, um...I can't remember what floor my room is on...I'm suddenly very...forgetful," her beautiful voice answered. I wondered if she were somehow affected by what had just happened. Obviously I'd never imprinted before, though plenty of my brothers had, and I didn't really know what to expect. My body moved closer to hers, and I found my mouth near her hair, inhaling the smell of her shampoo. I hesitated briefly, moving a step away from her, wanting to be even closer but not wanting to scare her. I could sense her body on mine, even though we hadn't touched, and I felt the urge for my lips to move down from her hair to her earlobe, her neck, her shoulder…

I cleared my throat, trying not to be so obvious in my complete attraction to her. "Well, I can solve that problem." Could I really do that? I had to think of something fast.

Needing to stall to have more time with her, I thought of all the different scenarios of what I could do to keep her here with me longer. How does one disable an elevator without anyone else noticing? I figured she wouldn't enjoy watching a six-foot-seven man rip the control panel out of the wall, which, by the way, would take no time at all. I then thought about pushing the emergency stop button, but I reasoned against that one. She would be screaming for help if I did. So I did what any other smart-ass would do.

I pushed every damn button.

"You didn't just do that, did you?" she exclaimed, watching me step away from the controls and back over to her. I thought she was mad at first, until I heard her laugh under her breath.

"Well, let's just say you'll have time to figure out which floor you need to go to, and I'll get a chance to know you a little better." I paused. "Unless you want to go ahead and leave; I'll understand." Please don't leave.

I listened to her deep breathing for a few moments. Was she nervous like I was? I stood next to her, forcing myself to keep a few inches of air between us. My hands gripped the hand rail to keep from touching her. The metal there would have dents, too. We both stared straight ahead, not knowing what to do next. I then heard her sweet voice again.

"No...I don't mind. I'd like to get to know you, too." Her eyes caught my gaze for a split second, and then she looked at her shoes.

Really? Holy shit! I thought to myself and tried not to act like a teenage boy who just got to second base for the first time. Hearing that she wanted to know me better got me thinking that she felt the imprint, too. I was always told the pull was too great to ignore.

The doors closed, and the elevator began its ascent to the upper floors. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. She smoothed out her skirt and tried to lean against the wall, but her ankle gave way, and she stumbled. Her hands gripped the hand rail, trying to keep from falling.

"Stupid shoe!" she ranted quietly, trying to unclasp the strap again. Her skin flushed a little pink with what I assumed to be embarrassment from her almost fall.

After watching her struggle again with her shoe, I decided I could help, being the gentleman that I was, of course. Shit, who am I kidding? It was an excuse to touch her, and I was going to take advantage of it.

"Here...um, let me help." Unable to control my urge, I found my body move over to hers in the blink of an eye. I knelt down slowly and listened to her take in a huge gulp of air. My eager hands gently lifted one of her feet as I cupped the broken heel with my hand. The other slowly took its time releasing the strap from around her ankle. I ran my thumb across the flesh of her foot before I put the shoe on the floor, feeling the warmth of her smooth skin. Barely anything was ever warm to me anymore. Hard to compare body heat against 108.9 degrees, but this was different. She was different. A warmth that made my head swim and lose what little bit I had left of my sanity.

Ding! The elevator stopped, opened, and shut its doors. We stared at the empty hallway of the hotel, freezing our two bodies until we knew we were alone again.

I looked up to her from my spot on the floor, watching her breasts rise and fall with her quickened breath.

"May I take off the other?" I asked in some low, Barry White voice I somehow channeled. Since when did I get that smooth? She smiled or laughed at me; I really couldn't tell. What the fuck? I cleared my throat again, hoping to keep from embarrassing myself further.

She nodded with a smile, and I finished by setting her foot down. Then I took her other petite foot in my hands, but not before I slid the tips of my fingers up her leg. I wanted to let them explore more, but I reluctantly stopped.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's okay," she whispered back, urging me on to help her with her other shoe by wiggling it a bit in my hands.

I didn't take as much time with the second shoe as I had with the first because a sense of urgency hit. I wanted to feel her bare skin underneath my hands, and the sooner I could get her shoe off, the sooner I had an excuse to do so.

I lightly ran my fingers up her calf, stopping when I heard the ding of the elevator again.

I watched as a group of teenagers dressed to the nines began haphazardly plowing into the elevator, threatening the space I shared with her. I stood fast, not liking the intrusion from the teens who were seeking the after-party of what looked like a formal dance. I just hoped they would find the room where their illegal beer keg was and leave us the hell alone.

I retreated to the back corner before I realized that this woman, my woman, and I would be separated by ten or so loud adolescents. Not wanting to be apart from her, I quickly and firmly took her hand, feeling her fingers respond and intertwine with mine.

I gave a gentle tug and pulled her to me, making sure one of my arms stayed glued to her hip. I noticed how her hand stayed wrapped in mine, too. It felt good having her near me, especially with her back pressed to my stomach. It was then I realized that just being near her wasn't enough because I soon felt my body reacting to her closeness. The blood rushed straight to my dick, and there would be no hiding it from her.

We watched the teens as they laughed and goofed around in what seemed like slow motion, and I found myself pulling her into my body as much as possible. I became more aware of the rhythm of her breathing and could hear the irregular beats of her heart. My body soaked in the way hers melted into mine as we watched the doors open and close a few more times, not noticing the craziness around us.

I'm pretty sure she could feel how hard I had become. I wished I had better control of my urges than I did, but there was no doubt of my attraction and need for her. The wolf in me struggled to stay under control, wanting to claim her as mine already, not caring who watched.  
Mine! Meant for me - made for me.

I nearly came undone when I felt her fingers begin tracing circles on my hand. I closed my eyes and reveled in the beauty of how it felt to have someone like her touch me. It was as if any other touch by a woman had been erased, and hers was the only one that mattered. I hoped she felt the same way I did because I never wanted to leave this place. It would be feasible to stay on this elevator forever, right?

But when I heard her whisper thirty two, I knew she had remembered her floor and that our time had come to an end all too soon.

Not ready for her to go, I had to think fast to keep her with me. I hadn't even gotten her name. I couldn't live with myself feeling this way for her and not knowing anything about her, especially her name.

Leaning my head down, I felt her head tilt slightly, which allowed me to place my mouth close to her ear. She giggled a bit when my breath tickled her. Shit, that was hot.

"Do you know how attracted I am to you?" I whispered to her, hearing a sigh escape from her. 

Our bodies meshed even closer together. She didn't respond to my comment, but I didn't regret saying it. I'm a balls-out kind of guy. It was either all or nothing with me, and I always fought for what I wanted.

The kids finally exited at the thirty-first floor, and I knew her time to leave was inevitable. Would she get rid of me as soon as the elevator arrived at her floor? The thought of her being away from me made me panic and left me feeling sick as I felt the elevator begin to move again. My fate and sanity rested with her and this last stop.

With the elevator to ourselves again, she wiggled quietly out of my tight embrace, reached down to retrieve her shoes, and wrapped her scarf around her neck again. I stood motionless, watching the woman I desperately needed prepare to leave without me. I had to make it her choice to want me, though. Isn't that what an imprint does? I would do whatever she desired; that was the nature of this imprinting thing.

Ding!

My heart became heavy as I watched her flawless back facing me. Our private moment had passed, and she seemed to have moved on.

The doors opened, and my eyes never left her as she began to exit. She took one step into the hallway, and then I hung my head, feeling my chest constrict with anguish at her decision to leave without me. Two seconds later I heard her melodic voice calling out to me.

"Well...are you coming or not?"

~o~O~o~


	3. So Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~o~O~o~  
> "You don't know if it's fear or desire.  
> Danger the drug that takes you higher  
> Head in heaven, fingers in the mire  
> Her heart is racing, you can't keep up.  
> The night is bleeding like a cut.  
> Between the horses of love and lust,  
> We are trampled underfoot.  
> Oh...love... You say in love there are no rules  
> Oh...love...  
> Sweetheart, You're so cruel."  
> ~So Cruel by U2

As always, big ups to Jkane180 and Pemberlyrose!

~o~O~o~

What I am supposed to do now? I kept wondering to myself. Everything I was feeling was so new to me.

Do I get off this elevator and ignore him? How could I do such a thing now?  
Didn't he just whisper in my ear? Didn't I feel his intense attraction to me press into my back? I couldn't keep up with my thoughts. I had to leave this place, but I didn't want to go without him. I felt an overwhelming desire to keep him with me.

Does he really want me? I needed to find out, but did I have the nerve to ask him to my room?

As the elevator slowed to my floor, I reluctantly released myself from his grip, hoping I could gather the courage to ask him over. Good girls don't do that sort of thing, at least that's what my father had taught me. My dad was always the gentleman, chivalrous and kind when it came to romance.

He was also the reason boys didn't stick around for too long; no one treated me the way he felt I should be treated. It was hard to round the bases with any boy with my father around. Even with my mom shielding my thoughts from him, Dad would always make himself known. His presence in the room unnerved any potential boyfriend. The deadly vampire thing also worked in his favor.

At least I knew that Mom was already keeping Dad out of my head for the night. He should be enjoying the wedding downstairs and not worrying about me. With any luck, he wouldn't be looking for me in anyone else's head either. That was a sure way to get him running upstairs. Lewd thoughts of his daughter by one of the wedding guests wouldn't be good. I could probably- counting on my mother to keep me shielded and my dad sufficiently distracted- invite this man to my room, and no one would even know…

I gathered my things and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I probably couldn't speak, even if I wanted to. I didn't look at him for I would surely lose my nerve if I did. I would find myself lost by just looking at him, forgetting everything.

It's now or never, I thought to myself as I stepped off the elevator.

Breathe, Renesmee. Breathe.

"Well...are you coming or not?" I heard escape from my mouth. Where did that come from? The moment between my words and his reaction seemed like forever. I had already been rejected once today and didn't want to have it happen again.

When the smile crossed his beautiful face, I knew he would be coming with me, and I sighed in relief.

Neither one of us spoke as we walked towards my room, but I knew we were both acutely aware of how much our bodies wanted each other. I fumbled haphazardly with my purse to find the key, trying to distract myself from jumping him right then and there in the public hallway.

I tried looking for the damn card to open the door, but I wasn't having any luck. I hadn't brought the usual contents of my purse with me tonight, just the necessities: ID, credit card, phone, condoms, and lipstick. A lady could never forgot her lipstick; at least, that's what my Aunt Rosalie had drilled into my head. My distracted self finally found the key.

We finally stopped in front of my suite, and I watched as he leaned his shoulder on the wall in his best James Dean pose, waiting for me to open the door. I could sense him drinking me in with his eyes, and I happily let him. We still hadn't spoken.

I felt my body ignite, knowing he was watching.

"You're beautiful," he hummed in a low voice. Damn. I'm gone. I found myself completely absorbed by him already.

If we ever were going to make it into the room, he would have to never speak again because when he did, my body wasn't my own. My hands became languid and clumsy, not able to insert the stupid card into the door. Just his voice had made me a bumbling fool. I couldn't wait to see what else he could do to me.

"You're just saying that," I responded. I couldn't get the key to work, and I tried to hide my frustration from this man that made my insides gooey.

"No, I mean it. I'm sure you have guys tell you that all the time, though." He placed his hand over mine and without words, took the card from me. He took it and slid it in the slot, opening the door with ease. I looked at him, embarrassed that I was unable to do the simplest of things, like open a door.

"I don't. Guys don't approach me much."

"Well, I'm lucky that they haven't, and you are beautiful. I don't lie about stuff like that."

"Thank you," I said humbly, trying to take the compliment.

"Jacob." He said out of the blue, holding the door open with his foot and placing his hand across my body to lean against the door frame.

"What?" I asked, confused as I looked at his smiling face.

"My name is Jacob. I figured you'd want to know something about me before you let me in. I am a stranger, you know."

I laughed nervously and looked to the floor.

"Sorry. I don't do this often...I mean, I don't do this at all, so forgive my rudeness," I rambled.

"And you would be..." he spoke slowly, hoping to get an answer.

Shit! What do I tell him? Renesmee? No, if I tell him my name is Renesmee, we'll have to have that awkward conversation where we repeat it a few times to make sure he's saying it right, and then he'll want to know how my parents came up with the name and all that. I can't have him knowing my real name, can I? Is this going to be a one-night stand? Do you give your real name out in moments like these? My internal dialogue wouldn't shut itself off.

"Do you have a name?" he joked, leaning closer to me. I couldn't take my eyes off the intense way he looked at me, as if I were the only woman in the world. Maybe he really meant it when he said I was beautiful and wasn't using it as a typical, pick-up line.

"Renee...my name is Renee," I whispered, staring at his lips that were mere centimeters from mine. I could feel his warm breath calming me. My grandmother's name would have to suffice for now.

His hand reached out and gently tugged at my hip, then it wrapped itself around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His mouth still hovered close to mine.

"It's nice to meet you," he breathed, and before I could blink, his lips pressed to mine. My body was in such turmoil, not knowing what to do. My mind was stunned, completely taken off guard by the way his lips felt as he kissed me. I couldn't move, but my insides instinctively turned on, absorbing every single tingle the touch of his mouth made. I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip, and I finally willed my arms to move, catching myself from falling by throwing them around his neck.

I could feel Jacob's arms press tighter around me, pushing our bodies closer together. His kiss intensified, and I had no trouble matching his movements, letting him kiss me however he wanted. He nipped at my bottom lip, pulling away from me slowly. I took in a breath that he had taken away.

He broke our kiss, only to open the door more. "Are you going to invite me in?" he asked as he let me enter the room first, still a little stunned by the kiss we had just shared.

"That depends," I managed to say.

"On what?" he smirked.

"Are you a vampire?" I said, trying to be funny by playing into the stupid myths of my kind.

A huge guffaw came from deep within his chest. "Renee, I'm as far from a vampire as you're going to get." I watched as he stood in the doorway, waiting for me to say the word.

"Well, then, you can come in," I laughed.

I took a few steps inside and surveyed the room; I could feel his body behind me. The panoramic windows revealed a beautiful view of the Seattle skyline. The lights from the busy city below streamed into the room, causing a soft glow in the darkness. Earlier I thought my hopes for a romantic rendezvous in Seattle were dashed, but with Jacob, I felt things were looking up for me.

I glanced to the doorway of the bedroom, noticing my luggage piled high on the bed. I set my purse down on a table and listened to the click of the door behind us, signifying we were alone.  
I turned to him just as he took me in his arms again, as if he couldn't keep away from me. His body pressed to mine, making me feel warm and secure. This stranger had an effect on me that I couldn't quite grasp. I'd never fallen this fast. Why now?

"Please tell me stop," he whispered in my hair. His voice sounded desperate, dripping with desire." I'm finding it hard to keep my hands off you, Renee. I'm sorry for being so forward," he confessed but didn't try to keep from touching me. In fact, he pulled me closer, allowing my head to rest in the crook of his neck. He positioned his mouth on my bare shoulder, which elicited a small moan from me. He just felt so good.

"I won't tell you to stop, Jacob. I like it too much." My fingers brushed along the starched shirt, close to where the top buttons were undone. I wanted to finish the job he had begun, needing to see the body underneath the tux. He looked good dressed up, but I knew he'd look even better without anything on.

I heard a low growl come from his abdomen when I basically gave him permission to do what he wanted with me. He trailed his mouth along my shoulder bone and stopped himself from taking my flesh between his teeth, pausing. I moaned again, feeling disappointed, which caused me to want him more.

"Why were you crying earlier...in the elevator?" he asked as his hands kneaded my back.

I inhaled the scent of his body while my eyes studied his neck and hidden chest. I played with the next button that needed to be released.

"It was nothing." I didn't want to talk about an idiot who didn't mean anything to me now. John was a memory, and Jacob was my new obsession.

"Please tell me. I didn't like seeing you cry." He tried again to make me talk. He trailed his mouth along my skin again, making the lower part of my body throb. Damn him. He's good. Getting me to talk would be easy, just like getting me into bed apparently.

I wrapped my fingers in his hair, loving the way it fell around his face.

"Someone broke my heart, but it doesn't matter now," I finally told him, not feeling the pain that had been there before the elevator doors opened, and Jacob magically appeared in my life.

"Why not?" I could feel his mouth trail up my skin to my neck, making my legs give way. I felt his embrace strengthen to keep me from falling.

"Because you're here. I know we just met, but I don't even remember why I thought I loved that guy in the first place." I couldn't explain this attraction at all. It should take longer to forget about an old boyfriend, shouldn't it?

"I'm glad I'm here. I promise not to break your heart. I don't want to be that guy." He then dipped his head down, back to my shoulder. I shuddered.

Then his tongue flicked across the curve of my neck, and I moaned in response to how good he felt. I realized I was a moaning whore and couldn't care less.

"You can tell me to stop at anytime. Like I told you, I can't help myself," he repeated, all the while rubbing his hands up and down the sides of my body. He grasped my dress as he did, making it shorter and exposing more of my legs.

"Like I told you, I don't want you to stop."

I watched him smile again, obviously enjoying my answer, and I found my body ready for him. I had never been with any man before beyond the usual make-out session, and for some reason, I wanted this man. I wanted to have sex with this person I knew nothing about but felt totally connected to.

I suddenly pulled away from him, grabbing his hand.

"Don't go," he complained.

"Don't worry. It won't be long until you have me close again," I teased. Tugging on his hand, I led him to the sitting area complete with a couch and matching chair. The plush, white rug felt good on my bare feet as we walked across it, making our way to the couch.

"Now sit." I asked of him. "Please," I added, hoping I didn't sound too pushy.

Jacob sat down, taking up much of the space on the big piece of furniture. He was a huge man; one of the biggest I'd ever seen, and I'd seen some large creatures in my lifetime. My dirty mind wandered to how big he would be elsewhere, and I smiled knowing there had to be a large piece of manhood under those black, dress pants.

I watched as his eyes caught mine. They captivated me, causing me to freeze where I stood in front of him. His eyes were dangerous, rendering me helpless with one glance.

I must have been frozen for too long because his long arms reached out, coaxing me towards him and pulling me out of my trance. I lowered myself on his body, straddling his lap as I did. My hands found the back of his head. I enjoyed this closeness with him, anxiously awaiting getting even closer.

We sat for a few moments entranced in one another's arms. I could feel every place his hands touched; my body was on high alert. My sensitive nerve endings registered more pleasure from his touches than I had ever experienced, and I soon began mimicking his exploring with my own. As he ran his hands down my body, I took mine and moved them slowly down his neck and shoulders. His fingers tickled the skin on my arm, and mine traced their way up his muscled forearm and bicep.

When he dipped his head down close to mine, I lay my forehead on his temple, feeling the blood pumping through his pulse point. The smell of his blood infiltrated my system. It was only an aphrodisiac; I didn't crave his blood, just him.

He smelled so good, but there was an edge to his scent, something different from any human I had been around. The smell of him swirled around in my head and throughout my body. Just one little taste wouldn't be bad, would it?

My fingers stopped their movements, and my thoughts of his blood came to a halt when one of his hands edged around the swell of my breast, causing my breath to catch. I closed my eyes and relished the way his hand then took it fully, cupping it and squeezing it slightly. Only a few hands had been here before his, and nothing compared to his touch. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to focus and fully enjoy the feel of his hands on me.

"Oh!" came out of my mouth, and I didn't recognize the pitch of my voice. He applied a little more pressure, sweeping his thumb across my nipple that had hardened through the thin fabric of my dress. Then another "Oh!" escaped, and I heard him chuckle.

"You like that?" He waited for my reply. I noticed the wetness pooling in between my thighs, which caused my hips to move, needing to be as close to him as possible. With one minor adjustment, I found his dick quickly. He was hard, and he felt so good as I rested myself on him.

"I like that very much," I responded, watching his face grimace. "But are you okay? Am I hurting you?" It certainly looked like he was hurting.

"God, no. It feels great...and you could never hurt me. In fact, you need to make sure I'm gentle with you, okay? I don't want to hurt you."

How in the world could he hurt me? I was immortal. I didn't say anything and just pushed my hips into his hardness again, watching him make another pained expression.

"See! There's that look. I'm hurting you, " I said with worry.

"No, no, no, Renee. It's just...no one has ever made it feel like this before. It's so intense."

What have I done? We were only in the middle of foreplay, and I'd made him feel this way. Empowerment swept over my body.

"I want to feel you more, Jacob," I whispered in his ear, and within seconds, his hands ran up my thighs, stopping at my ass. He caressed it, moaning when he did.

"You have no panties on," he growled, grinding his dick into me harder.

"It was going to be a surprise for the jerk," I told him as I took his earlobe and traced it with my tongue.

"His loss is my gain," he murmured, squeezing my ass harder. I then felt his thumb brush my heat, lingering for just a moment.

"So wet," he groaned. "Ung...Shit!" I watched him take a deep breath as if he were relishing the smell of something arousing in the air. His finger played a bit and he slid it back and forth, causing me to whimper as he did.

I was wet and so ready for him; there was no denying it. I kissed his neck and moved to his lips. I forced my tongue on his; we both took each other with our mouths like addicts who couldn't get high enough, every hit better than the last.

My finger pushed the lapel of his jacket over his shoulders; he never left my lips as he helped me remove his coat completely. Unbuttoning his shirt became my next objective. I reluctantly stopped kissing him to concentrate on undressing him. I couldn't resist wanting to see his body revealed to me.

His deep, brown eyes watched me as he let me undo every button. I wondered if could he see the admiration in my eyes upon discovering the body underneath the material. I had never seen perfection until tonight, and here it was beneath me.

Jacob had to help me with the cuff links when I completely failed at pulling his shirt off his arms. The cuff links were in a design I couldn't place and were platinum, obviously expensive. I watched him lay them on the table beside the couch. Then his attention returned to me.

My hands couldn't help but touch every line of every muscle. I could hear his deep breathing as he lay back, allowing me to explore his flesh. His dark skin amazed me; my alabaster hand looked almost translucent in comparison. I wet my lips with my tongue, wanting to kiss him again but not just on the mouth.

I heard him suck in air when my lips began exploring his neck. His hips pushed into me again, reminding me of how much I wanted to be with him.

"Renee, how do I..." he asked, fumbling at the back of my dress. He was trying to find the zipper. I giggled as I took his hand and placed it underneath my arm.

"It's on the side."

"Thanks," was all he said as he slowly unzipped my dress. I unknowingly crossed my arms over my chest when he did.

"Don't hide from me. You don't need to," he said, encouraging me to let myself go. I took a deep breath, feeling that I was safe with him.

My dress fell to my waist.

I didn't look at him, embarrassed at being practically naked in front of him.

As my eyes stayed locked on the cushion beside us, I felt the clip in my hair being released by his hands. My up-do had been undone. My copper locks fell down around my shoulders, and I finally looked him.

"Perfection," he whispered. With him, this stranger, I finally felt desirable and beautiful.

And before I knew it, my back was arching. My moaning began again, all because his hands were on my back and his mouth on my breast. He swirled his tongue around my nipple, and I found my back curving more, allowing him to suck and nip all he wanted.

I heard myself ooh and aah in a voice that wasn't my own as he worked me over. He kept caressing my breast with his tongue, and I thought if he didn't get inside me soon, I could very well die. I decided to slide my hands down his chest and abs to the button on his pants, wanting him in the worst way.

I moved off him just enough to get his pants undone, becoming more desperate at every passing second.

"Let me help, baby."

Did he just call me baby? Oh my God, he did.

He lifted his body just enough to get something out of his back pocket. I saw him take a condom out of his wallet and set it on the couch.

"Safety first, right?" he laughed. I watched as he began pulling his pants down, taking any undergarments with him as he did. When his pants got to where I sat, he paused. I didn't move, too entranced by what had just been revealed to me. Yep, my guess was right. He didn't disappoint. He had to speak to rouse me from gawking at him.

"Move just a little, Renee. Then I can...well, you know." Yes, I did know, and I couldn't wait. I still couldn't believe that I was really doing something crazy like this. I had never been so careless in my life.

I stood on my weak legs, allowing him to finish undressing and my dress to fall on the floor. A stillness settled in the room when we both were completely free of clothing. We each took the other in with our lustful gazes. I could see his hands twitching and sense how he wanted me, too.

Then the corner of his mouth lifted into that cocky smile he had the first time I saw him, and I was on him so fast that I practically leaped onto his lap.

"Whoa," he gasped in my mouth when mine attacked his. Take it easy, Renesmee. Don't do anything stupid, I said to myself. I had to calm down, not wanting to scare him away.

"Do you want me to stop?" I then asked, sliding the wetness between my legs down and then back up his dick. His hands dug into my ass.

"Fuck, no. Don't stop." His mouth took mine again, kissing me hard and desperately. He reached for the condom and had it on in no time flat.

"Now, Renee. I need you now," he demanded, and I wouldn't deny him.

I lifted myself to feel his tip on my entrance, and the thought that I'd never done this before didn't register. I just knew that he felt natural to me. Any pain didn't matter; I found myself just wanting to have him inside me.

His hands grabbed on either side of my hips, and he pushed in me just a bit, teasing me.

"You can tell me to stop at any time," he offered one last time. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Quit being such a gentleman," I demanded as I moved my center on him slowly. Suddenly, my body felt pain and ecstasy all at once. Jacob wasted no time in entering me. He had no idea that he needed to go slowly; he didn't know that no one else had been here before.

I screamed and pulled him to my chest, not wanting him to see my face. I hurt but didn't want him to know. The fire spread all around where he had entered.

"You okay, baby?" he asked, concerned but not fully aware of what had just happened.

"Mmm-hmm," I managed to hum, lying. I started moving up and down on him, so he wouldn't see that I was inexperienced. For some reason, I couldn't have him thinking that.

His hands began guiding my body on him, somehow showing me what to do. I felt myself stretching around him, letting myself adjust to his size. The human side of me would have to feel this pain, but at least the vampire side of me would recover quickly. The hurt was slowly dissipating, and I couldn't imagine not having him fuck me like this.

I heard him moan and whisper indecipherable things under his breath, and I finally begin to feel the pleasure he was giving me. He felt amazing, and with every whimper and groan from him, I cut loose a little more. My fingers were in his hair, tugging and pulling. His thrusts became more desperate as my insides felt like they were on the verge of exploding.

We didn't kiss, only held each other close as our bodies moved in perfect synchronization. He pressed my breasts into his chest, his fiery flesh feeling good on my skin. Our moans and sighs were the only noises in the room. It felt like we were the only ones left on earth.

"Fuck, Renee...so...so..." His thought was never completed. His hips pushed upwards hard into me. "I'm...I'm..." I knew he had found his release, and I was so close to mine. I kept riding him, not wanting this feeling to end. I was already anticipating fucking him again.

"Jacob!" I cried out. My short and erratic movements over him all culminated into one glorious moment. I felt myself pulsing all around him, calling out his name over and over.

I finally stilled myself and continued to feel my walls clenching around him as I reveled in the euphoria. I had gotten myself off a few times before, but I now knew that nothing compared to this with Jacob.

Our breathing was labored, and we continued to hold on to each other, neither one of us wanting to break our connection. We stayed that way for I don't know how long, enjoying the beauty of what we had just shared. I couldn't break away from the look of complete adoration he held in his eyes.

This was more than a one-night stand.

"That was..." I couldn't finish my thought.

"Amazing," he finished for me.

"Yes...do you think we could, um, do that again?" I asked, a little embarrassed, running circles around his chest with my fingers.

"Um, yeah. That's a no brainer." Naught but two seconds later did I hear him curse under his breath. "I had only one condom."

"That's okay...I have more in my purse."

We both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why don't you go get another, and I'll go to the lady's room? Then we can meet right back here for round two. How does that sound?" I asked.

"It sounds great," he smiled. "I hope you don't mind me being here all night."

"I want that very much, Jacob." Then I watched as he pulled the palm of my hand to his mouth and kissed it, never taking his eyes off me.

I finally removed myself from him, kissing his lips one last time before I left the room. I heard him make his way to the table to find my purse. I just needed a few moments to gather myself and take in what had just happened between us. He couldn't see me laughing like a stupid school girl.

Oh, my holy hell, I thought to myself as I looked into the mirror. I smirked at my reflection because I looked like a girl who'd just had sex with an amazingly, hot guy. Satisfaction was written all over my face. I laughed at myself because the only thing I knew about this guy was his name.

I had to take that back. I knew something else about him: He had a huge dick and seriously knew how to use it. Jacob, the hot guy with the huge dick. Yep. I didn't know anything else about him, but that was reason enough to celebrate.

I did know that I needed to quit messing around with my hair and get back to him. I don't think he even cared what my hair looked like. I just wanted to let him do that to me all over again.  
My insides bubbled all around just thinking about having sex with Jacob again.

I never knew. I would have done this a long time ago if I had known that sex would be that good. I mean, by all accounts from my family, sex was beyond amazing. I knew from just hearing my mom and dad go at it all night when they thought I was asleep. I knew everything about sex, except how to do the actual act itself...until now.

Did I inherit their stamina? Could we go all night? I wondered to myself as I brushed my teeth. I'm part vampire after all. That fact alone just saved me from even more pain a few minutes ago. My mind raced, wondering what we could do if we did have sex all night. A new part of me had been discovered, and I loved it. Fucking Jacob did that to me.

What am I still doing in here? I asked myself one more time as I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed. I was an idiot for hiding in the bathroom for so long. I then ran my fingers through my just-had-sex hair and splashed some water on my cheeks. As I patted my face with the hand towel, my mouth erupted into a smile.

I'd been so sad earlier this evening. Being let down by someone who was supposed to love me did that to me. But it wasn't the first time I had been let down. Throughout my life I had felt like a pin ball, bouncing around from one thing to another, not fitting in anywhere. My family was the only place I felt somewhat normal; even then, I had a hard time.

I was the only one who ate human food, used a bed for sleeping, and did the other things that most humans did. I was half human but never fit in fully with their kind. I had friends and boyfriends here and there, but no one ever stuck around. My vampire side forced me to never really open up and get close with anyone. Humans evidently liked honesty and full disclosure. In my world, if you let it slip who you really were, you'd be killed. So lying was a part of the game.  


The only vampires I was around consistently were those in my own family. They loved me; I knew that fact, but I wanted to have love and give love in a way that wasn't the familial kind. I wanted to find the right one who would accept me for me.

I just wanted to fit somewhere...with someone.

Somehow with Jacob, I fit. I mean, we fit sexually; of course that was plain to see. I knew I had just met him, and I should be cursing myself for sleeping with someone I'd only known for less than an hour, but there was something more to this Jacob guy. The feelings we shared seemed different; there was something deeper that I couldn't explain. For some reason, I thought this thing could work beyond the obvious one-night stand.

Would he want someone like me? The smile on my face quickly faded.

Enough self-analyzing, Renesmee. A beautiful man wants to be with you, and you're hanging out in the bathroom. Deciding that I'd spent enough time in this tiny bathroom, I opened the door. I made my way to the other room, wanting to wrap myself in his strong arms again. He liked me, didn't he? He wouldn't have said all those things to me if he didn't. I was stupid to start the negative thoughts. Not every human was bad.

He was different; I knew he was. My naked body hummed just walking in his general direction. He was like a beacon, reeling me in. I would even tell him my full name.

But instead of finding him lounging on the couch waiting for me, I watched a fully dressed Jacob hopping on one foot, trying to put on his final dress shoes. His shirt hadn't been buttoned, but he had put on his jacket. He was obviously in a hurry.

"Jacob?" I asked, unable to say anything else, trying to keep my body from shaking. Please tell me you're not leaving, I begged silently, too afraid of the truth to speak the words aloud.

The pained way he looked at me scared me; he looked tormented and sad all at the same time.

"Sorry, Renee. I forgot...I've...I've got to get back to my friend's wedding. I hope you understand." I watched how his eyes didn't look at me but at everything else in the room. His nostrils flared, and I could hear his heart beating faster than it had all night. My happiness faded.

"Liar," I whispered in a voice that only my kind could decipher.

His head jerked up as if he had heard me, but I knew he couldn't have. I almost wished he had.

"I really do have to go," he tried to explain one more time.

Without thinking, I moved as fast as my body could go to the chair in the sitting area, very close to the couch where we had just made love. So close to where he professed caring for me and wanting to spend the evening with me. I didn't care that I had just used my speed in front of a human.

I grabbed the throw blanket that draped itself across the back of the overstuffed chair and wrapped it around me, needing to hide my nakedness. In a matter of seconds, I had gone from being uninhibited in front of him to being ashamed of my naked body.

I must have been repulsive to him. He must have sensed how much of a freak I really was.

He turned away from me, and as he was about to open the door to leave, he stopped.

"I'm sorry," he said softly as he turned his head over his shoulder in my general direction.  
I wrapped the blanket tighter around me when he spoke those two words, hating myself.

"No, don't be. You got what you wanted, didn't you?" I whispered.

His eyes shut tightly, as if he felt bad for what he was about to do, but I knew better. He was one of those men who said all the right things with only one, ultimate goal in mind.

He had fucked me. Now he was done with me. He was off to tell the news to his friends of how he met some chick on an elevator and fucked her in no time flat.

I should have known better.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, I sunk to the floor, completely broken.

Freak! I called myself before the stupid, human tears began to fall.

Never before had I wanted to disappear more.  
~o~O~o~


	4. Bad

~o~O~o~

"If you twist and turn away,

If you tear yourself in two again,

If I could, yes I would.

If I could, I would let it go, surrender, dislocate.

If I could throw this lifeless lifeline to the wind,

Leave this heart of clay, see you walk, walk away,

Into the night and through the rain,

Into the half-light and through the flame."

~Bad by U2

~o~O~o~

Too much. The feeling was too much, but then it wasn't enough.

I watched her body move on mine, like she had done this with me a thousand times. Her whimpers, her arousing scent, and her tender hands all caused me to forget the life I led before; a life without her.

How I had survived, I didn't know. I tried to figure out how I could be so in love with someone I had just met. These feelings were real and unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. Was it the imprint? If it were, I didn't care to analyze its mystery at the moment. I had this sexy woman riding me, moaning my name; I couldn't be bothered at the moment to try and think through the whole imprint business. The animal in me had taken over, and my mind no longer made the decisions.

When her hips swiveled just so on my dick, I couldn't help but growl; I knew that I wouldn't last long. So tight, so wet. Never before had sex been this good. I knew making love with an imprint would be different because I often had to relive those private moments the guys shared with theirs. The pack mind could be torturous sometimes. From all accounts, no other sex could compare. I knew they sensed the disappointment I felt at not ever having it happen to me, but no one dared to bring it up with their alpha.

Sure I made myself believe I was happy that I had never imprinted, proud in fact, but deep down, I didn't think that I could rightfully be a complete wolf without taking on everything that it entailed. One of the most cherished and powerful traditions of our tribe had been an enigma to me. I dreaded imprinting but craved it all at the same time.

Now that Renee was here, I felt whole, like the leader I was meant to be.

In a matter of minutes, I had imprinted on this woman and had her here on the couch fucking me. I couldn't wrap my mind around it, but really, I didn't want to. I didn't want to think about what I was doing and how wrong it was to be with my imprint so quickly like this, and then again, I was never one to think things through when it came to love and sex. Being impulsive and reckless was who I was, consequences be damned. I knew I had to claim her the moment I smelled how much she wanted me. My insides just about folded into themselves when I breathed in her heady scent. I realized I had to have her like the air I breathed.

"Jacob!" She called to me so many times over that it became a song to my ears and spurred me on even further. I began cursing and mumbling under my breath, trying to control myself from letting go too much. I had to be careful with this girl...if I hurt her, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

When I felt her soft breasts press to my chest and her fingers tug at my hair, I knew I was done.

My release came fast as I pushed myself into her, wishing that my seed could spill into her and not into the damn condom. I'd never once thought about a family of my own after Bella had chosen the leech. All hopes I had for that life ended the moment I decided to leave Forks and my past behind. Somehow, spending my life with Renee consumed my consciousness. I suddenly ached for everything I thought I'd never have and didn't even want: a home, children...lots of children, and maybe even a dog.

I relaxed and enjoyed watching her moving on top of me, working to reach her own orgasm. I could feel her warm breath on my skin, and I knew I wanted her again and soon. Being a wolf had its advantages, a non-stop sex-drive being one of them.

I heard my name escape her lips one last time before her pussy clenched all around me, making me crazy for a repeat performance. I held her close to me for what seemed like hours before she broke the silence.

"That was..." she tried to finish her thought but couldn't.

"Amazing," I finished for her. Her fingers began to swirl around on my chest, sending cool ripples all over my skin.

"Yes...do you think we could, um, do that again?" she asked, acting embarrassed. I smiled at her hidden innocence, knowing that what we just shared was anything but.

"Um, yeah. That's a no brainer," I quipped without hesitation. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't come prepared for a night like this. "I had only one condom," I confessed, kicking myself for not having more. Who knew that I would imprint at Seth's wedding and already be sleeping with said imprint? Shit, I didn't.

Her next words were music to my ears.

"That's okay...I have more in my purse." I almost wanted to stand and shout because I was so happy, but I restrained myself. Scaring Renee right now wouldn't be the best idea. I already had enough explaining to do with the imprinting and the wolf thing anyway. I didn't need her freaking out more than she already would be. Realizing the things you see in horror movies are real can make people a little skittish.

"Why don't you go get another, and I'll go to the lady's room? Then we can meet right back here for round two. How does that sound?" she purred, giving me a look that made me hard again.

"It sounds great," I said, giving her my best smile, trying to turn on the charm. "I hope you don't mind me being here all night."

"I want that very much, Jacob," she responded. The charm must have worked. I found myself pulling the palm of her hand to my mouth and kissing it, and as I did, I took in her unique scent again, letting it fill my senses and burning its flavor forever in my memory.

Watching her walk away gave me such mixed feelings. I didn't want her to leave me, but seeing her bare ass sway as she walked made me a happy man. I could live on that mental picture for days. The way her tangled hair swung back and forth across her naked back caused a growl to rumble in my chest. I'd like to pull that copper hair as I take her from behind…

As soon as the door to the bathroom shut, I sprang into action. I cleaned myself off, removing the condom and throwing it in the closest trash can. It took no time to find her small purse, and I thought of grabbing every packet in there, wanting to use all of them. I couldn't remember being this happy...ever.

It took me a little while to figure out how to open the little purse. My hands were just too big for the tiny clasp. That's why guys don't carry these things. Too complicated. The mechanism finally unhinged itself, and I breathed a sigh of relief because I was about to throw it across the room in frustration. I dug around impatiently, not finding the condoms, and thought that I'd just dump the contents onto the table, but I decided against that. There was probably tons of girl shit in there, and I didn't want to take a chance and break something. Don't make the imprint mad, especially not when she's promised to fuck you tonight. I knew I would do everything in my power to keep her happy.

While looking for the condoms, I saw her driver's license loose in her bag, and my curiosity took over. God, I hope she's eighteen. She looked young, but these days, who could tell? I took the card in my hand and inspected it. New Hampshire? Shit, she lived across the country. How is that going to work? I'd have to figure that part out later. Then I saw her picture, the one that no one looks good in, but yet, she did. It made me laugh because she had that smirk; the lop-sided smile that did things to me...hell, everything about her did something to me.

I told myself that I needed to get the condoms and to quit rifling through her purse. Her age didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I just couldn't keep myself from looking, and I was about to put her ID back in her bag when her name caught my eye.

Renesmee...what kind of name is that? No wonder she shortened it. I read the name Carlie and laughed, but before I could chastise myself for making fun of her name, I saw something... something that made my gut clench and caused my body to shake involuntarily. I must have read it wrong…

This couldn't be…

Cullen?

Her fucking last name was Cullen?

I stood frozen for a second, trying to figure this out. Was it just a coincidence that Cullen was her last name? Sure, there were tons of people who shared the same name, but they weren't always related, were they? I hoped to God it was so. I couldn't imagine Renee being one of...them. I studied her identity more, trying to find the missing piece to this puzzle.

September 10, 2006.

Her birth date didn't help much. She was of age, thankfully, but her identity still baffled me. I knew Edward and Bella had a child while Bella was still...human; this couldn't be that child. Could it? I thought about the wedding I didn't go to and the timing of it all. It just didn't make sense. My heart raced, trying to figure this girl out.

I dropped the purse when it began to vibrate.

"What the-" I whispered, quickly realizing it was just her phone. I knew I shouldn't look, but I'd been a nosy son-a-bitch so far. Why stop now?

A glutton for punishment, I slid the phone out and looked at the screen. It was one of the state-of-the-art new phones that must've cost hundreds of dollars. Knowing how Edward worked, it probably hadn't come out to the general public yet. What I saw next made me forget all about the cool logistics and cost of the phone. My jaw dropped, and I was unable to catch my breath.

Flashing on the screen was the word Mom, and there was Bella's smiling face flashing on the screen, golden eyes and all.

No fucking way...I paced back and forth, finding my clothes as I did.

I just fucking slept with a leech. I couldn't think and felt myself becoming enraged as my mind began to freak out.

No, you didn't just imprint on a goes against everything you stand for, I screamed in my head, trying to convince myself that this wasn't really happening.

Blood suckers felt like marble and were cold...and dead. She had blood pulsing through her veins, which meant her heart was beating. She didn't have that horrible vinegary, vampire stench that made me want to vomit. She smelled so good...so different. I could hold her and be content just inhaling the perfume that was distinctively hers. She didn't feel cool like they did; just one touch of her warm skin made me putty in her hands. She was beautiful and everything I'd ever wanted.

I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself to quit thinking of her. She may have been the girl I had waited on all these years, but the fact remained that she was still a blood sucker. I pushed away the overwhelming need to be with her because I just couldn't be here. I struggled with my inner demons; one was telling me to stay...the other one said run!

Run? Yeah, I can run. I'm pretty damn good at that.

I began dressing haphazardly, wanting to leave and get away from what I had done. I felt betrayed by the universe and by my ancestors. It had to be a cosmic joke. Shape shifters, whose sole purpose was to protect our people from the cold ones, do not imprint on leeches.

How the hell does this happen?

I could already hear the laughing from my brothers and anticipate my imminent embarrassment. Jacob Black, alpha male of the Quileute tribe, imprinted on our mortal enemy. This shit doesn't happen, especially to the leader. My pack would not recognize it, and my pride wouldn't allow me to either. I had to reject this mistake of an imprint that fate had given to me.

I was almost dressed. Almost out the door. If I'd been just a little faster, I wouldn't have had to see her. I wouldn't have had to soak in the beauty of her body one last time or hear her melodic voice whisper my name again.

"Jacob?" I heard her say, and I moaned quietly in anguish. I could tell she wondered why I was getting dressed. I could hear disappointment in the way her voice cracked as she spoke.

"Sorry, Renee. I forgot...I've...I've got to get back to my friend's wedding. I hope you understand." I had to lie to her. I didn't have to get back to see Seth; he was already mad at me, so why make another scene? I realized I was feeding her bull shit lines that most jerks do in situations like this one. I had no other choice.

Barely audible, I heard the word "liar" come from her lips. She said it in the hushed tones that I'd remembered her family using many years ago. I looked to her and knew she was dead on in calling me that name. I didn't get mad or defend myself; I had to stay focused on getting the hell out of here. I had to fight the urge to take her in my arms and try to make her change her mind about me.

"I really do have to go." But every part of me wanted to stay.

The next thing I knew, she had wrapped herself in a blanket, covering the fragrant skin I wanted to devour. I had to turn away from her; the torment in her face was too much.

"I'm sorry," I told her one last time before I willed myself out the door.

"No, don't be. You got what you wanted, didn't you?" I heard her whisper to me. I wasn't prepared for the way my body reacted to her pain. Her words cut down to the core and made me physically ill for what I was about to do. She thinks I used her…

Then the voices in my head returned, and I regained my resolve.

She's a leech, Jacob. Run. Now!

I hit the ground running as soon as the door shut behind me. I had to keep moving to forget this night, and pretend I didn't hear her sobbing after I left. I had to push aside the best night of my life and try to erase from my memory the best sex I'd ever had.

As I bolted as fast as my human form would go, I couldn't shake her, no matter how much I tried. Every step I took to get me further away from her made me hurt even more, and the primal need for her surged.

In a few minutes, I made it to the tree line at the beginning of the forest surrounding the outskirts of Seattle. The shaking started and the fire in every part of my muscles began to ignite. The feeling of my body splintering into a thousand pieces began rolling up my back and spread outwards to my limbs. Then the sudden surge of energy came bursting out of my body, turning me into the dog I was.

I had denied my imprint, and I did the only thing I was good at doing.

I ran.

~o~O~o~

Next up, Bella and Edward come back to find Renesme in the room...


	5. All I Want is You

Thanks always to Jkane180 and Pemberlyrosexox. You should see what I write BEFORE it gets to them. They clean it up well.

~o~O~o~

"All the promises we make from the cradle to the grave.

When all I want is you."

~All I Want is You by U2

~o~O~o~

1,492 or was it 1,493?

I'd counted that many fleur de lis painted on the wall repeatedly for the past few hours. I'd finally quit crying but couldn't bring myself to move off the floor. The blanket lay haphazardly around my body, only baring my arms and legs. The other parts of me I kept covered, not wanting to expose them. I already felt betrayed by my body and what I'd done. I felt like a whore - a whore who sells herself to the highest bidder, never finding love and always left feeling used and empty.

My eyes closed, remembering him...his smile...his breath on my skin...the way he felt under my fingertips. Stop it, Renesmee! I scolded myself. I wanted to forget and not feel his touch that still remained fresh on my skin. I wanted to erase the musky way his sweat smelled as we made love. Fucked, I should say - at least. That's what I was to him...a quick and easy fuck.

Under the security of the blanket, I drew a line with my finger down my stomach, across my hip bone, to the sensitive place right below, only to find evidence of my mistake. The memory of him still lingered, emphasized by his scent on my skin No matter how much I tried to rid my mind of what I had done, pieces of him remained, and I couldn't forget.

The place between my thighs still throbbed from him; the pain reminded me of what I had given him without thinking. How could I let my first time be with someone I had just met? What compelled me to be so reckless and stupid? There was more to it than just lust, wasn't there? What I felt wasn't a figment of my imagination, was it?

I wrapped my arms around my body, tensing as I felt another flash of pain roll through my gut. I was nauseous, needing to vomit. I never got sick, but right now, I felt like I had the worst kind of flu. If this was what I had to look forward to with love, then I didn't want it. I didn't want to be treated like this - cast away like trash.

I reluctantly willed myself off the floor. I sat up, letting the feeling of guilt wash over me. It sickened me to know I was just like the trash. Not only did I feel like an outsider, I could add slut to my list of accolades, making my family that much more more ashamed of me.

I thought of my family...my mom and dad. Then the wetness trailed down my cheeks again, knowing how disappointed they would be with me. There would be no way to hide this mess, to rid the evidence of a man being here, to eradicate the smell of sex that permeated all through the room and all over me, or to erase the stolen innocence of Bella and Edward's only daughter.

What have I done…

~o~

The sound of loud voices in the hallway awakened me from whatever sleep I had drifted into unexpectedly. I panicked, not having my wits about me. The laughter and screaming soon died down, but the questions in my mind did not. Where am I? What time is it? Where are my mom and dad?

It didn't take long for everything to rush back to me. The thought of my parents coming here, seeing me like this, frightened me.

I knew that I needed a shower in the worst way. I needed to absolve and rid myself of these feelings...of his scent. I couldn't hide what had happened, but I could at least cleanse the part of myself they'd notice.

Maybe my parents wouldn't even bother coming to my room after the reception, realizing that I was a responsible adult. Or at least I had been responsible. They didn't have to check on me all the time. Maybe for once they would leave me be.

I heard a strange sound echo in the room, soon realizing it was my laughter. I laughed, not because I was happy, but because it was humorous to think that my parents would ever leave me alone. I could never be out of their constant watch for long. Tonight had been an anomaly. Once they found out the stupid mistake I'd made, they certainly wouldn't let me out of their site so easily...especially my father. He'd make sure I'd never come into contact with any male ever again.

Tonight I'd proven that if left to my own devices, I'd make the stupidest of mistakes. Hey, Dad. I just fucked some random guy I met on the elevator. I don't know his last name, where he's from, or anything I should know before sleeping with someone. But hey, Dad, he had a big dick and made me have the most amazing orgasm. I laughed again at the thought of me saying something like that to him.

Hopefully Jacob was long gone, leaving no trace for my father to find him. My vampire dad had vowed not to kill another human, but I was sure he'd make an exception tonight. I was beyond angry at Jacob for leaving me so unexpectedly, but I didn't want him dead. Maybe Dad could just mess with him a little bit, scare him, hit him a few times, but he didn't deserve to die.

As I wiped the tears from my cheeks, my worst fears became a reality. I smelled their familiar scent long before they made it to my door. I could hear their whispering, voicing their concern about my absence. I didn't move or try to hide anything. I prepared for the worst.

My mom and dad were here.

"The smell of wolf is everywhere. I thought I'd be used to it by now; they all smell the same...awful," I heard my father whisper outside my door.

"Edward, it's a wolf wedding. What did you expect?" my mother responded.

I heard a quiet tap at the door.

"It smells even stronger now...I even smell it in her room, Bella," my father's voice no longer whispered, sounding concerned.

"It's not possible. She was going to be out with John tonight. She shouldn't even be here." I heard another light knock.

I hadn't moved yet. I didn't know what to do. Maybe they thought I was still out with John, and I would have time to make myself presentable. But why would they be smelling a wolf in my room? Unless…

Oh, God. It couldn't be, could it?

"I forgot...I've...I've got to get back to my friend's wedding. I hope you understand." His words had replayed through my head again and again after his leaving, but now, they finally made sense. He was at the wedding - Seth's wedding. Seth was a wolf, so Jacob could possibly be one, too.

Did I just sleep with a wolf? I began to shake uncontrollably. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I had been used and left by a wolf. How did I not sense he wasn't all human?

"Renesmee, open the door, sweetheart. I know you're in there." My mother's soothing voice called through the door, and I wanted nothing more than to run to her and let her hold me. I needed her, but the thought of my father knowing the truth kept me from answering the door. I know it was stupid of me to think they would go away, but a part of of me wished it could be true.

"I'm fine. I'm really tired. Can I just see you two in the morning?" I asked, hoping they would listen.

"Something's wrong; I can sense it. That awful smell is in there. If there's a wolf in with her...if she's hurt...," Dad tried to speak quietly to Mom, but I still heard. I was hurt, but not in the way he suspected. It would never cross his mind that his sweet daughter would do the unthinkable - give her virginity to the first good-looking guy she saw after having her heart broken. The wolf thing would just be icing on the cake.

"Give her a moment." Mom's voice tried to reason with him, but it didn't work.

"Renesmee, open the door. I can easily do it, but I really don't think you want me to make a scene tonight. I don't mind paying for a new door either; you know that."

Deciding to answer the door instead of my father ripping it off its hinges sounded like the better choice of the two. I was in no mood for any more drama. I just needed to get it over with and begin the lovely task of forgetting this night ever happened.

I wiped my face with the blanket and wrapped it a few times around my body, like a towel after the shower I should've taken. Slowly, I began the short journey to the door, but it was amazing how just a few steps seemed like miles.

"I'm coming," I tried calling out to them, but I sounded hoarse. I guess the snot sobbing that I'd been doing could cause me to lose my voice. Before I opened the door, I took one last glance at the room, remembering. No matter how awful I felt, I couldn't help but be comforted by one thing. Jacob was more to me than a one-night stand.

I felt a connection with him that I couldn't explain. At least I could hold on to the idea that my intentions were good and done out of more than just physical attraction. I had made love for the first time, thinking he must have felt the attraction, too, and that I was more than an easy lay. From the chance meeting on the elevator to when he finally entered me, I got a brief glimpse into the feeling of completeness, like I belonged with someone for once. If I could convince myself of that, then maybe I could get past the anger and the hurt.

For a little while, I was happy.

I took a few deep breaths and turned the handle. Hiding behind the door as I pulled it open, I made sure there was no eye contact between my parents and me. I couldn't face them; they would know soon enough.

"We've been calling your cell...why haven't you answered?" my mother demanded.

"I didn't know you called. I guess my phone is off or something." I hadn't checked my phone lately; I guess I was a little preoccupied to pay attention.

"What happened..." my father began asking, but he stopped before he could finish his question. My eyes finally looked up enough to see him walking around the room, seeming to be investigating.

My mother covered her nose in disgust, and my father stopped his searching and stood still, staring at the couch. I let out a soft cry with the realization that he knew.

"Renesmee, what happened?" he asked, not looking at me.

I didn't answer; I was too upset. My new tears kept me from being able to speak anyway. He could already guess the answer to his own question; I was just too disgusted with myself to respond.

I then followed my father's movements around the room again. He searched the bedroom, bathroom, and closet, looking for the perpetrator.

"Where is he?" he demanded.

"Oh, no. Renesmee..." I heard come from my mother. She stared down at the trash can. I could smell what was in there; he must have put the condom there. I watched as her long, white fingers combed through her hair.

"He's gone," I finally answered.

"Who's gone?" he asked, quickly moving to be beside my mother.

There I was, standing face to face with my worst nightmare. I had hurt the two people I loved the most. The look of disgust was all over my father's face. My mother stood in disbelief. She saw the used condom; she knew now.

I was no longer their little girl. I was ruined.

"Please answer me. You had a wolf in here, and I can guess what happened. I need to know why you would do such a reckless thing. You could have been hurt." My father began trembling in anger; his golden eyes flickered.

"I don't know why, Dad."

"You need to give a better answer than that. You slept with a wolf? Who was it? I need to know."

The tone in his voice became more threatening and louder. His hands balled into fists at his side; his body stayed rigid with controlled rage.

"Edward, calm down. Can't you see she's upset? She doesn't need you yelling at her. You'll only make things worse." I relaxed a bit at my mother's words. She may have been disappointed in me, but she'd at least hear me out and try to understand.

"I can't give you an answer. He's gone. That's all there is to it. I want to forget about it, okay?" I said; my voice cracking as I did.

"What do you mean he left?" My father's anger seemed to double. Mom looked to him and then back to me with worry in her eyes.

"He just left, Dad. I don't know why. He said all these things, and I believed him...we...we..." I stammered.

"I know what the two of you did; you don't have to elaborate. But what I want to know is why he would leave you after it was over? No gentleman does such a thing."

I shrugged my shoulders, wanting to crawl into a hole and hide forever.

"His name, Renesmee! I want his name. This wolf will know not to treat my daughter like this...I will rip his head off," my father spat out, slamming his fist on a side table and splintering it in two.

"Edward, stop it!" Mom called out to him, trying to calm him down. The palm of her hand found its way to his heaving chest.

"I won't calm down until she tells me who would defile her and leave like a coward. What mongrel would come in here...and do this?"

I just stared at the floor and folded my arms across my stomach. The nausea had begun again. I couldn't answer his question because I just wanted to forget. Saying Jacob's name to my dad would only make things worse. I didn't need my father knowing and leaving to rip off his head. The sooner we could leave this behind us, the better.

"Bella, let me see who did this...please...let me see," my father whispered under his breath to my mom. He stood before me, wounded by what I had done but more angry at who had been in the room. I had no idea the wolf smell was so distinct. "I need to know..." he seethed.

John had cheated on me. Jacob had used me and left me. I couldn't bear the thought of my father rifling through my thoughts, seeing everything that had transpired. Hadn't I already been humiliated enough?

I would be beyond mortified If my mom lifted her shield.

I took my trembling hand, reached out to my mother, and rested it on her smooth cheek.

"Please, mom. I can't have him see...it's too much...please..." I begged, using my gift. My father couldn't hear my pleading to her. I also knew she could feel my pain, the torment I'd experienced over the past few hours.

"Bella," I heard my father call another time.

I hoped to God she would understand and not lift the shield.

Her sympathetic eyes stared in to mine, not leaving.

"Please..." I silently begged one last time.

Mom took my hand, squeezed it, and pulled me to her in her tight embrace. I could no longer see my father, which was for the best.

"I can't, Edward. She's already been violated enough. If you pry into her most intimate thoughts, we would be doing it to her all over again. I can't have that."

A hiss escaped from him, causing me to cling tighter to my mom.

"She may not tell me now, but just know when I do find out, and I will, God help him."

"Edward, you need to calm down. We can't have you breaking the treaty by avenging the virtue of your daughter."

"We broke the treaty when she was born. What's one more time? I would certainly enjoy a fight right now," he growled.

"But I wouldn't. Let's give Renesmee time. Maybe by then you'll have calmed down, and we can deal with it rationally. Killing a wolf isn't going to help things. You, of all vampires, should know this...She just wants to forget. Let's give her some time."

"I won't do anything...for now. You know I can't add to her pain." I heard something break, and I released myself from my mom to see a crystal vase turn to smithereens in his hands.

"Thank you," I whispered to them both. "Can I go shower now? I just want to clean up and then sleep."

I didn't wait for them to answer; I just walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I turned on the water and tried not crying...it didn't work. I was so tired of the tears, but it was uncontrollable.

I just knew one thing for certain - I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to be home. Seattle wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I hated it with a passion. I suddenly knew what I needed to do.

The scalding water felt good on my skin, and I felt better knowing that I'd be leaving the first chance I could get. I wanted to be as far away from Jacob as possible. But would running back to New Hampshire help me forget? I sure hoped it would.

There was only one way to find out.

~o~O~o~

Let me know what you think... pretty please :)


	6. The Fly

~o~O~o~

"A man will beg.

A man will crawl.

On the sheer face of love

Like a fly from a wall

It's no secret at all...

It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky

The universe exploded 'cause of one man's lie."

The Fly by U2

~o~O~o~

She paused by one of the birch trees and turned towards the sound of my footprints. A fog hung in the air and encircled her, making her harder to see. The earth crunched beneath my heavy steps as I quickened my stride to reach her. My body tensed in anticipation, sensing I would be with her soon. I just wanted to touch her shoulder, run my finger across her ivory skin; maybe kiss her pink lips.

But as soon as I came close enough to touch her, she disappeared through the thicket and into an even denser fog. I panicked, trying to find her after she vanished, and in my confusion, I saw the flash of red that let me know she was still here. Her copper locks blew in the wind about a hundred yards away by another tree where she had stopped once again, looking my way; she mesmerized me with those big, brown eyes. I had to remind myself to breathe because I couldn't shake the sadness that emanated from her gaze. Her eyes were a window into her soul, and I could tell that her soul was hurting.

I was the reason for the hurt; I caused that pain. Did her pain match mine?

Maybe if I could catch up to her, I could try to explain myself; let her know she wasn't just some girl to me. I tried to get to her, running this time, but it was of no use. She was gone before I could touch her. I was always one step behind and a second too late. I kept chasing her and continued to be haunted by those sad eyes. Renesmee, my imprint, was running from me, just like I was running from her.

~o~

 _Jake. Jake. Wake up, man._ I felt a paw slap the top of my head. I felt groggy, too tired to wake up now. I wanted to stay in my dream and try to find Renesmee. Even if I told myself I couldn't have her as my imprint, I didn't want to let her image go. Just having her in my dream somehow soothed me. Waking up would mean I'd have to face the tightening in my chest again; the inability to breathe was crippling. Pair that with the ache in every muscle of my body, and you have a debilitated wolf. Last night in the darkness, I ran as far as I could through the forest, which wasn't but a few miles before I succumbed to the torment. My body couldn't move forward, even having the advantage of my wolf prowess.

Every step I took away from my imprint crippled me more. Denying her must have brought this on. I fell into a thicket of pine needles and somehow managed to fall asleep, which I thought would help me escape the pain. I was wrong.

 _Leave me alone_ , I spat at whichever wolf had been sent to check on me. I didn't want to face the day. I really didn't want to see anyone from the pack, they were probably pissed at me right now. I knew I couldn't face Seth at all, and I was glad he had left for his honeymoon and wouldn't be worried about me any longer. Seth would finally get to be with his imprint. Not only did he have to wait for her to grow up, but he also had to deal with a religious girl who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Talk about walking around with blue balls all the time.

I honestly didn't know how he did it, but apparently it was what his imprint wanted, and Seth honored her wishes. I'm pretty sure that Seth was balls deep in her now and not really concerned with my outburst at his wedding. Sex with an imprint made the earth stop and everything else fade away. All you can see is her. All you want is her. Seth couldn't care less about me, and now all I cared about was Renesmee.

But I didn't want to, or that's what I kept telling myself.

 _Get up, asshole. Don't make me throw you across the forest. You know I will. Let's get back to the hotel and face the firing squad._ It finally registered that Paul was the one barking orders at me. He probably drew the short straw and was sent to check on the me. It was ironic that I was the uncontrollable one in this situation, and Paul was sent to calm me down and get me to come back.

 _Get the fuck away from me. I'm not coming,_ I growled in my head to him and felt a slap of his paw across my ear only a second after I spoke.

_I'm not leaving 'til you get your sorry, Bella-loving ass off the ground and back to the hotel._

_Watch it! I don't love Bella, you moron, and get away from me!_ Thoughts of Renesmee flooded my mind unexpectedly. It didn't take but a moment to see myself making love to her last night, remembering her touch and hearing her melodic moans. I heard Paul snort a breath of air in my direction, as if pausing to concentrate on something.

He saw her, too.

 _Who's the redhead?_ he asked.

 _Nobody_.

 _From what I saw, she wasn't a nobody. She's got a great set of tits, whoever she is_.

I knew he was just messing with me because guys who imprint usually didn't talk about other women, but I didn't care. My anger exploded anyway, and Paul found himself on his back with my paws pinning him to the ground. I was a millisecond away from clamping down on his neck before his powerful hind legs pushed me off of him, sending me reeling to a nearby tree.

I let out a yelp as I hit the pine and saw bits of bark fly out around me.

I wasn't in the mood to argue or battle with Paul, but he decided he was going to talk about my girl. Dammit, she's not your girl, I told myself as I got back on four legs. He didn't just talk about my girl, he talked about her tits no less. Those were for me and me only. I would kill him for talking about her that way. I sure was being defensive for somebody who wasn't going to have a leech for an imprint. I sure as hell had become territorial over someone I thought I hated.

He growled at me a bit, and I stared Paul down, bracing for another attack. He did the same. Neither one of us moved.

 _What happened, Jake? This tormented soul act has nothing to do with Bella, does it?_ The fur running down his spine lay back down, and his hunched shoulders loosened a bit. Paul didn't want to fight me either.

I didn't answer his question. He would know sooner or later, though, if he hadn't figured it out already. The thoughts of my imprint weren't going away any time soon, and everyone would know what happened to me. I debated on revealing the events of last night to him; I didn't know how to handle something like this. Maybe he could help me figure this situation out. Paul had imprinted on my sister, and they'd been happily married forever now with several crazy kids running around. I knew that being with my sister changed Paul for the better. Would Renesmee do that for me? Could I be a better man with her?

 _Holy shit. Is it true?_ Paul asked, obviously still listening to my inner monologue.

No longer afraid of losing any blood from fighting Paul, I decided I needed to talk to him man to man; plus, I really didn't like him in my thoughts at the moment either. I closed my eyes and let the tension flow out of my body. I could feel the ripping begin at the base of my spine, transforming me back into a man who walked upright. The transformation no longer hurt like it had at first. I'd been phasing now for over twenty years; I didn't even have to think about it anymore.

I watched Paul change back, and we both stood naked in front of each other. Neither one of us cared; we were so used to this part. Being a wolf meant giving up many aspects of our privacy. Even my thoughts weren't my own.

"So it finally happened? You imprinted?" Paul's hardened jaw had relaxed some, and his voice held a small bit of sympathy in it.

I rubbed my temples with my forefingers and just nodded my head.

"It happened last night after you stormed out of the wedding?" he quizzed.

I nodded again.

"I seem to get the feeling you and she have already done the dirty deed?"

"Yes," I said flatly. I tried to suppress my primal need for her now.

"Nice. So what's with the emo, Jake? Why are you out here acting all depressed and not with her?"

"It's complicated." I tried to brush off the fact that I'd fallen for a vampire.

"Try me. Why aren't you with her, Jake? You imprinted. You fucked. You're sealed together forever now, man. There's no going back on it. Don't you remember the legends?"

Leave it to Paul to be the rational one.

"I can't accept her, Paul. I'll fight whatever forces are binding us together. It just can't happen." I began pacing back and forth, wishing I had clothes. Ripping apart my custom-made tuxedo wasn't that smart of an idea. Not only did I not have anything to wear, I was out a few thousand dollars, not that it mattered, though. I could replace it easily.

"What do you mean you can't accept her? You already did. You can't fight it, dude. If you do, it'll eat you alive. You already look like shit, and you haven't been away from her for that long. Imagine how you'll feel if you keep trying to ignore the pull," Paul reasoned.

"You don't get it. She's...she's..." I threw my hands in the air in frustration.

"She's what? From what I saw in your head, she's beautiful and makes you happy. Or at least made you happy. Did she do something to piss you off?"

"No."

"Did you have a fight?"

"No."

"Was she a bad fuck?"

"God, no. Best I've ever had."

"Then for Christ's sake, what the hell made you run? You gotta help me out. I'm grasping at straws here."

"She's..."

"Spit it out, Black, or you're about to be knocked down again."

I decided to let it all out. "Her name is Renesmee Cullen. She's the daughter of Bella and Edward."

I watched Paul's face turn from indignant to bewildered, unsure of what I'd just said.

"Don't fuck with me, Black."

"I wish I was. I wish I could rewind the whole night and not get on that elevator."

"Man, you're screwed. You're seriously fucked up the ass, but what can you do? You can't run forever. I'm serious when I say that; it'll eat you alive." He stared at me as I struggled to breathe and make the smallest of movements. "What you're feeling now is nothing. I've seen what running from an imprint will do to a wolf."

"You've seen someone run?" Curiosity had me. I needed to know what could happen to me.

"You weren't around when Brady imprinted. He tried to leave, too. Damn near got himself killed."

"When was this?"

"After you ran...the first time."

"Oh. I kind of remember hearing about that. You knew I couldn't stick around, didn't you?" I watched Paul cross his arms and nod back at me, understanding my impulsiveness way back then. "I guess I didn't hear all the details of Brady's struggle."

"It happened so long ago; we don't think about it. Brady learned his lesson and hardly lets Maria out of his sight now. He couldn't function without her."

"But Maria's not a vampire, Paul. Explain that one to me. How can I love someone we're supposed to hate?"

"Well, Renee- How do you say her name again?"

"Renesmee," I whispered back. My chest tightened saying it out loud again.

"What a crazy name. What was Bella thinking?" I felt like I was about to kill him, and he must have sensed it, so he stopped asking about her name. "She's half vampire. There's still part of human Bella in her. I can't explain it, but she's meant for you. Our ancestors wouldn't screw around with this stuff. Besides, times are changing. Maybe we aren't supposed to hate them anymore?"

"I thought it'd be a cold day in hell before I heard you help defend those bloodsuckers."

"I'm not saying I like it. I'm just trying to get you to see that you can't leave her. It'll kill you. More importantly, you're not a stupid teenager anymore, Jake. You can't just run at the the first sign of trouble. You can get away with it once, but twice is pushing your luck. You need to man up and try and beg for her forgiveness right now." Paul paused a bit, wanting to say more, but I could see he was holding back.

"Spit it out, Paul. You're my brother. We have no secrets." I wish I could have taken back my request.

"But worst of all, think of what this is doing to her. She has no clue what happened, and now you're gone. Have you even thought about that? How is she handling all this?"

I stood stunned, unable to look at Paul, knowing he was right. I clenched my eyes shut and thought of her. I remembered hearing her sobs after I closed the door behind me, and suddenly, I realized what my selfishness had done. If I'd stayed and been honest with her, maybe I wouldn't have felt the need to escape. After all, no one had ever made me feel what she did in such a short amount of time. Just one look from her, and I wanted her. Just the smell of her sweet perfume made me wild with desire.

The more I kept replaying how she made me feel, the more I realized what a dumb-ass I'd been. I never thought about my future with my other relationships. It never dawned on me that I'd ever settle down. I recalled wanting that future - the house, the kids, the wife - as I made love to her.

Could I get past her last name and who her parents were? I quickly realized that I'd have to, and her name and who she was really didn't matter. She was mine. As much as I tried to run, I was helpless against the imprint. Renesmee had me at her beck and call, and I needed to get back to her and beg for forgiveness.

It took Paul to make me see - I needed her more than I needed anything. I loved her.

"Oh, and one more thing, Jake. Are you ready for Edward to kill you for real now?"

I must have had the deer-in-headlights look because Paul just fell to the ground laughing.

"You fucked his daughter and left her. You'll never live this one down."

He was right. Bella was the only reason Edward never tried to kill me when we were younger, but I was sure that once Bella found out what I'd done, all bets were off. She'd surely give Edward the green light to kill me slowly and painfully.

"Are you ready to go back now?" Paul asked.

"Yeah. I am."

"Good. If I didn't bring you to Charlie's house today, I'd be in big trouble."

"Shit, I'd forgotten about that." My dad's surprise birthday party was today. There was too much going on for my head to keep track.

"Let's get going. You have a lot of groveling to do, man."

I didn't respond as I phased back, ready to run back to Renesmee as quickly as I could. The faster I ran and the closer I got to her made me feel so much better, but the more I thought of her, the more worried I became. I had no idea what I would find when I got back to the hotel.

I began to think about her cries and the look of disappointment on her face as I left her room, and I became filled with fear that she wouldn't want me anymore. I was so busy rejecting her that it never occurred to me that she may not want me now.

I heard a growl, but it wasn't mine or Paul's. I stopped and looked around the forest, waiting for the owner of the noise to make an appearance, but he never did. It didn't take long for me to figure out that the growl was all in my head, a figment of my imagination, reminding me of what I was going to have to face when I returned to her. The growl was all too familiar; my memory would never forget.

I knew it belonged to Edward. He would never forgive me for what I'd done. Did he already know it was me?

I ran faster to get to Renesmee and to throw myself at her mercy, but one thought kept nagging me and wouldn't release me.

_What have I done?_

~o~O~o~


	7. Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own

~o~O~o~

"I know that we don't talk.

I'm sick of it all.

Can you hear me when I sing?

You're the reason I sing.

You're the reason why the opera is in me.

Where are we now?

I've got to let you know.

A house still doesn't make a home.

Don't leave me here alone..."

~Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own by U2

~o~O~o~

"You can't leave."

"Yes, I can, Mom. I don't want to be here anymore," I uttered back. I knew what I wanted, and nothing she could say would change my mind.

"Your grandfather will be disappointed if he doesn't get to see you."

Except that. God, she did have to pull the Charlie card, didn't she? I hadn't visited him yet, and I had truly forgotten about it. Jacob had screwed with my mind so much that I couldn't think about anything other than him, even though I'd tried. I had tried to forget everything, but a part of me that I couldn't explain held on to him.

I wanted to be free of him, but I was losing my battle because I could still feel him all over me. His touches weren't easy to forget - the magical way he brushed his fingers over my skin causing me to shiver. Those hands still lingered on me, haunting me. My body wouldn't shut itself off, only making me want him more despite my rage. I was in an internal struggle with myself. My mind was pushing him away, but my body was pulling him back to me, only adding to my hurt and confusion.

I had to stop remembering our night together. I needed to forget I ever met him. Leaving Washington was the only way for me to forget this whole trip happened.

"We're supposed to go see him today, remember?" I heard my mother's voice float somewhere into my consciousness.

I stood by the bed and stared at my half-filled suitcase. I wrung the cashmere sweater I held in my hands a little too much and heard it rip in two.

"I know you're upset. I get that, but let's just go see your grandfather, and then you can do whatever you want. How does that sound?" My mom asked, taking the torn fabric from my hands and placing it in the trash can.

I felt her arms encircle me, and she gently motioned me towards the edge of the bed. We sat side by side, and I lay my head on her shoulder. I started to cry again without meaning to.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed between the stupid, uncontrollable sniffles. Having my mom calm me made me a big puddle of mush. No one else could comfort me like her, not even my Uncle Jasper.

"It's okay, baby. Your heart got broken. You're allowed to cry." Her smooth voice relieved my pain a little.

"He took so much from me. I should've known better, Mom. I shouldn't have been so stupid."

"Instant attraction gets the best of us, Renesmee. You were hurt by John, making yourself vulnerable. Then what's-his-face comes in and says all the right things to you, and you believe everything he says."

"I'm so stupid. He sounded so sincere, feeding me all those lines. Please know I've never done anything like that before. I don't know what came over me. You know me, and I'm not that girl."

"I know."

"It just hurts. I wanted my first time to be perfect. I guess that's laughable now. Do you understand why I need to leave and go home?"

"I wish I could change everything for you and take your pain, but running away isn't the answer. Going back home isn't going to make it go away. Running only makes the problem worse. It'll just stay with you until you're forced to deal with it."

I hated when my mom was right. I knew flying back to New Hampshire wouldn't solve anything, but somehow I thought it would. I'm pretty sure Jacob would infiltrate my mind as I went about my everyday life. I began to get scared of having to live like this. Going through my days with him constantly surrounding me would ultimately drive me insane.

I closed my eyes that stung with tears and imagined going back home. I saw myself walking into my apartment, and a feeling of loneliness sunk in. Once my sanctuary and retreat, I could only see it as a reminder of me having no one to love and no one to love me back - an empty bed, extra closets with room to spare, a bare kitchen with no one to cook for.

My office at work would only remind me of how I let it over take my life. I could see the numerous Post-It notes of my to-do lists floating all over my desk and walls. My schedule was packed with client after client. I was the best; work was all I knew.

Besides hanging out with members of my family, I had no social life. I wouldn't even consider my co-workers as friends. I worked my ass off to make a name for myself in that firm, even if I was just the unpaid intern. I knew that being buddy-buddy with them wouldn't be a good move on my part; I realized now that befriending and then dating John, an engineer at the same firm, wasn't the best idea.

If I went back home, I feared I'd have to walk into a room full of judgemental stares. I knew John wouldn't go down without a fight, and my name would probably be mud once I returned. I wasn't the office favorite; I was the over-achiever. I obviously knew my shit better than those who were paid and had been there for years. How could I go back now? I was good at what I did, but that didn't matter. One bad move socially had ruined the best of reputations before. Why would it be any different with me? Even though I worked non-stop when I wasn't in school, it wouldn't matter. There was a rule against dating co-workers for a reason. I'd learned that the hard way.

I ran my hand down the silk of my mom's shirt, letting the texture of the material calm me. I became wrapped in the security of her arms and finally acquiesced in coming with her.

I'll come to Grandpa's with you. I may not be the best guest, but I'll be there, I said, feeling the tingling flow from my fingers onto her skin. My gift always tickled a bit.

"Good. I need to go finish getting packed and check on your father. Do you think you'll be okay if I leave?" she asked, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I will.

"I'll send a bellhop to gather your luggage. Your grandpa likes for us to stay with him, you know."

I nodded and watched her glide across the floor and out the front door. After wiping my tears for the billionth time, I made the rounds of the suite, making sure I left nothing behind.

My dress from last night had been put away in the hanging bag. Some lucky girl might be able to wear it to prom once I donated it to Goodwill. I needed no reminders of last night. Getting rid of the dress he'd touched and, subsequently, taken off me would feel like a cleansing.

But then I saw the shoes I wore last night, and they laughed at me from across the room. They huddled together next to the door where I'd left them - the beautiful pair of shoes that had been so delicately taken off my feet by those capable hands; the hands that melted any ice that I had on my heart. How could someone be so tender one minute, making me feel sexy for the first time in my life, and then turn to stone the next?

I ran to the shoes and picked them up, crushing the jewels that adorned the designer heels with my tight grip. The hurt I felt began to bubble up and could no longer be contained.

One of the glass windows shattered as the shoes hit with a force that I didn't know I had. One shoe, followed by its mate, made quite the fireworks show as it flew into the panoramic windows. I'm pretty sure my dad would make me pay for the damages, but I didn't care. It actually felt good to let out the rage. I even imagined the shoes hitting Jacob squarely in the head. A smile crossed my face for the first time since last night. Yeah, making him feel pain would be nice.

The sun beamed through the now-shattered window, causing the light to fragment across the room. It cast a strange but beautiful glow. Something flickered and caught my eye, and I immediately went to see what had captured the sun so brightly.

Cuff links rested on the table next to the couch that still smelled like him and the sex we had the night before. The crashing window had made me feel powerful in the midst of this mess, but then his cuff links had to mock me and remind me of my sadness.

I picked them up, wanting them to join my shoes. I wondered how the small, platinum objects would react to being thrown full force into another window, but something made me stop. I rolled them around my hands and, somehow, began to feel his presence as I did. That should have been my first clue to get rid of the things, but I obviously liked to be miserable. I found my grandmother's embroidered handkerchief in my purse and wrapped the cuff links inside them. I couldn't let go of them just yet.

A knock at the door startled me, and I shoved them quickly in my pocket.

The bellhop stood at the door, and it didn't take long for him to survey the scene in front of him. His jaw dropped to the floor, obviously from seeing the floor-to-ceiling window completely shattered and all over the flawless floor.

"Just put it on my tab," I said, walking out the door with nothing but my purse.

~o~O~o~

I hid myself in the other room, getting away from everyone because I didn't want to be social. I was only here at my mom's request.

"Jacob should be here with Billy at any moment," I heard my grandfather say to my mom and dad as I took a big swallow of the water I had just poured.

I choked mid-gulp, and water squirted out of my mouth. I was glad to be in the other room, out of site from the others. This couldn't be the same Jacob, could it?

"Good. Maybe he'll actually talk to me," my mom said.

"I'm pretty sure he still hates me. The way he looked at me at the wedding before he left was a little scary," I heard someone say.

"I don't know about that boy sometimes," Charlie interjected, "but he's our Jake. He's done well with his life. He's just had a rough time finding a girl and staying with her."

"I guess a kiss from you can ruin a guy for life, huh, Bella?" my father joked.

"Edward! That's not true. I did kiss Jacob, but it was a long time ago. I'm not that good."

I stopped wiping up the mess of water I'd made all over the kitchen. She was kidding, right? This isn't the same Jacob, and he surely didn't kiss my mom. Did he?

"I beg to differ, Love." My father's smooth voice rolled off his tongue, and I was sure he was kissing my mother at that moment.

I took a couple of steps from the kitchen towards the living room, not sure I was hearing correctly. I saw my dad pulling away from Mom's lips.

"He was madly in love with you back then. I have a feeling he still is." My father's words slowly began to sink in, and I soon began shaking uncontrollably. I tried to convince myself that the conversation I'd just heard really didn't happen, but it had happened. I knew better. There was only one Jacob that was the topic of their conversation.

It was my Jacob, too.

The room suddenly felt like the air had been sucked out of it, and my chest hurt trying to catch my breath.

"Are you okay, Renesmee?" my mother asked, becoming aware of my presence at the edge of the living room.

"I-I...I need air. I'll be back," I somehow managed to voice, bolting for the door as quickly as I could, angered by my mother, but still thankful for her shield. My father didn't need to know of my anguish.

Things had gone from bad to worse. My first time was with someone who was in love with my mom.

The thought of Jacob loving my mother made me sick, and I did the only thing that I could do...I ran. I heard a car approach Grandpa Charlie's house, but I didn't stick around to see whom it belonged to. I was panicking and couldn't deal with any more people, vampires, werewolves, or hell, zombies right now. It was hard enough being at Charlie's house listening to them reminisce about old times. The life they spoke of was before my existence.

I knew only bits and pieces about my family's life here in Forks. I always resented my mom and dad for leaving out details of their life before I was born. I knew it was to protect me from things that might hurt me. I always felt like they shielded me way more than they needed to, but now, as I fell down this crazy rabbit hole, I welcomed living in ignorance. The more I discovered, the more pain I encountered.

I stayed in the woods, trying to get as deep into them as I could. Even though I was half human, I could still run like the wind. I was faster than everyone in my family, except for my father. Hopefully he wouldn't be chasing after me. Maybe he would understand that I needed to get away and didn't need anyone to check on me. I was twenty, after all, and had been mature for over a decade. I'd have hoped by now he'd see me as an adult.

I soon heard the roar of the ocean as I flew by the trees, and I turned my body in its direction. For some reason, the sound of the rushing water was where I wanted to be. I ran until the waves reverberated through the trees so loudly that I knew I had to be close. I came to a halt, realizing that I had brought myself to the ocean, but I wasn't on any beach.

The unsteady water crashing on the cliffs was the reason for the loudness of the water. I'd never seen an ocean so uneasy. I understood its turmoil; it's how I felt on the inside. I stood above the water, staring at the gray horizon and then looking at the precipice below me. The rush of the wind in my hair and the smell of the salt cleared my head a bit, allowing me to forget for a moment that I had been used and cast away by someone I couldn't get out of my mind.

He was probably already at the house with my family, with my mom. I suddenly felt like vomiting, but the nausea that took over dissipated and changed into fear when I heard growling and snarling behind me. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up as I stood frozen in fear. I knew the forests back home well and was able to hunt without any issues. I knew my prey, and they always feared me, never the other way around. I was the prey now, and I had a feeling that these weren't any ordinary wild animals either. I kicked myself for not thinking before running like a crazy vamp through territory I didn't know. I should have known better.

I got a small portion of my wits about me and began slowly turning around to face the sound of gnashing teeth behind me. I tried to hide the shock of what I saw because I didn't need them knowing just how frightened I was. I'm sure they didn't have to look at me to see my fear; they could probably smell it.

Before me stood two huge wolves, or what looked liked wolves on extra-strength steroids, one gray and one brown, posed ready to pounce at a moment's notice. They each stared at me and slowly inched their way in my direction; their huge paws stirred up the dust below them. I backed up until my feet had nowhere else to go. The water below would be my only escape.

"Help," I managed to squeak out, but it was barely audible. I figured that my father would be by soon, never able to resist the urge to check on me. I really wished he was here now. The only time I needed him to be overprotective, and he was nowhere in sight.

My feeble call for help was followed by a louder snarl from the gray wolf. Its eyes were fierce, and I knew it would think nothing of decimating my existence with one snap of its jaw.

My breathing became labored upon realizing that Jacob was one of these...these creatures. He was an animal that wanted to kill me; we were enemies. I knew that I must be on their reservation, their territory. I'm pretty sure half-vamps didn't get a free pass to be here.

My chest heaved, and I almost lost my ability to breathe when the gray one came within an inch of my face. It snarled in my direction, and I smelled the foul stench of its breath. I gasped, ready for it to go for my jugular, killing me with one bite. I knew that fighting was futile. I was powerless against the two of them. I'd never had a reason to fight in my life; I wouldn't even know how. My life depended on knowing how to defend myself, and I knew nothing. My family had focused on keeping me so completely wrapped in safety that they never thought once that I might need to help myself. It was too late now to be angry at them.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears running down my cheeks, ready to meet my fate. My last thoughts weren't of my family, those who loved me. My last remembrance of life here on earth would be that of Jacob smiling at me, leaning against the door frame at the hotel. It was a moment in time that flashed in my memory before everything was shot to hell - before he rejected me and left.

I sobbed for what had happened but almost welcomed the relief from the pain and the anger. It would all be over soon.

"Please do it now... please," I begged in a hushed whisper.

As if I'd made the animal happy with my words, it began opening its jaw; but a growl that didn't belong to either of my attackers echoed through the forest and above the sound of the waves, startling the wolf. I braced myself for the impact and for the teeth tearing at my tough flesh, but it never came. Instead, the gray wolf was attacked and pushed away from me. I watched a mess of red and gray fur battling until they were out of sight in the woods.

I immediately turned to the brown wolf, ready for it to take me down, but he didn't move. He began backing away and ran in the direction of his fighting pack brothers. I fell to my knees, too weak to move. I'd never had a near-death experience before. I didn't want to have another ever again.

The animal noises soon died down, but they were replaced with human voices. I heard a woman shrieking, but the sound of her yelling died down as soon as it had begun. The bushes rustled, and I wanted to run away because I was still frightened. Unfortunately, my legs didn't function. Even if I could have run, I'd surely have been struck helpless by whom I saw coming towards me.

I grasped at the dirt and rock below me, trying to anchor myself on something, anything, but it was of no use.

Jacob was here, and there was nowhere to run.

~o~O~o~


	8. One

~o~O~o~

Have you come here for forgiveness?

Have you come to raise the dead?

Have you come here to play Jesus?

To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?

More than a lot.

You gave me nothing,

Now it's all I got

We're one;

But we're not the same.

Well, we hurt each other,

Then we do it again."

One by U2

~o~O~o~

"Quit looking at me like that," I scowled at Paul, who obviously didn't want to take my lip, and he cornered a turn like it was on rails as we headed for Forks. Luckily, my knees were up to my ears sitting in his tiny sports car, and I didn't budge, making his plan of throwing me into the car door backfire.

"You just look funny. That's all," Paul laughed back at me.

"You aren't faring much better, asshole," I shot back.

If I could've moved, I would've punched him in the neck, but unfortunately, my arms were pinned to my lap. There wasn't any room for much of anything in this clown car. I guess we both looked pretty ridiculous, two huge guys crammed into Rachel's tiny, girl car.

"Can't you go any faster?"

"I'm already going 120," Paul huffed.

I ran my fingers through my hair and rested my head on my knees that were only a few inches from my face anyway. If I didn't get to Charlie's house soon, I was going to explode from my anxiousness. Renesmee was there.

I had to control my breathing as I remembered the empty feeling I got when I was too late getting to the hotel. Fortunately, Paul's driving kept me in my trance, and I drifted back to what happened only an hour ago.

Once Paul and I finally phased back and made ourselves somewhat decent, I had stormed the hotel looking for Renesmee. Looking more like a hobo than a guest, I ignored the stares I was getting from the others. I didn't have a stash of clothes like Paul did. He actually thought to be prepared before he phased. He found some random clothes from god-knows-where for me, and I wore them, not caring that the pants were high-waters on me or that the shirt was skin tight.

I ran to her room and was surprised to see the door open. I made myself at home and walked right in. The cleaning crew looked at me for a minute but went back to work. What surprised me was what they were cleaning. The windows had been shattered, and glass was everywhere.

I walked across the room, hoping to find a clue as to where she could be. Instead, I slammed right into the smell of her all around me. My chest ached, missing her.

"Crazy girl. I don't know how she broke this glass. It's double-paned, the strongest around. We still don't know how she did it," a man on the ladder commented as he measured the frame around the missing window, talking to his partner on the floor who took notes.

"Are you here to help clean?" a snooty woman with a clipboard asked, walking from the bedroom. I watched as she made her way across the room and sat on the plush couch where Renesmee and I had...had...made love. I bit my lip to try and keep myself together. Tears were for pussies. Men didn't get all sentimental about where they had sex, or did they?

My mind left me as I let go and let my body be overtaken by my imprint. The heady smell of sex was still in the air. Renesmee's unique scent floated around me, and that woman sat in our sacred spot, the spot where I was with Renesmee for the first time. I had no idea if there would ever be another time with her. I felt my chest constrict more, letting that realization sink in. How can I live with myself if she never forgives me? How can I live at all without her?

"Sir, are you all right? You really shouldn't be in here without shoes. Are you sure you're supposed to be here?" The nasally voice of the woman began to ask a series of questions that I couldn't answer out loud.

No, I don't have shoes, Ice Queen. I shredded my dress pair as I phased into a big, giant wolf, you moron.

I shouldn't be in here without shoes? No shit, Sherlock. I know I'm walking around on tiny pieces of shrapnel right now, but you know, I don't give a shit. The blood you see doesn't concern me.

I know I shouldn't be here because I need to be out finding Renesmee. I need to see her now...right the fuck now!

"Sir, are you okay? You look distressed. Can I get you any help?" I heard from somewhere in the room. I no longer took notice of anything. Everything became blurry, and I knew I needed to go. Paul came in and got me out of there. He dragged me down the hallway before I was finally able to make my brain control my own body.

The urge to see her became stronger.

"Dude, I found out that she's at her grandpa's house. We can get Billy first and then head over there," Paul explained as I followed him down the hall, the blood still trickling from my feet.

"We don't have time to get Billy," I said flatly.

"It's his surprise party. We're supposed to take him to Charlie's to make him think we're just having a small celebration, then we'll take him to the tribal hall for the big party. We've talked about this a thousand times."

"We don't have time to get Billy," I reiterated. Paul didn't realize my urgency. I loved my father, but he would have to wait. He would understand and forgive me for rushing over there without him. The one person whom I had no idea if I would get forgiveness from was somewhere in Forks, hating my guts.

"Jake, you don't seem to understand-" Paul stopped talking when I grabbed him by his collar and rammed his body into the wall.

"I need to find her," I growled.

Paul put his arms up in surrender. I knew he'd see it my way.

Now we sat in his car, watching the trees fly by. I just hoped I wouldn't be too late...again.

~o~

I stepped out of the Porsche and immediately sensed something was wrong at Charlie's house. A chill in the Fall air was lost on me in my rag-tag looking clothes and their inability to cover my huge body. Sometimes it was a good thing to always be at 108 degrees.

I looked to Charlie's house and sniffed the air around me, a habit I had gotten into since I became a wolf. I coughed and felt on the verge of throwing up because I could smell the vampire stench all the way out here. How many were in there? How long would I have to fight my natural instinct to phase in front of them? Knowing that Renesmee was in there was the only reason for me to put one foot in front of the other towards Charlie's.

As I walked, a gust of wind turned my attention to the woods beyond the road. I sniffed again, and the air was laced with the beautiful scent of Renesmee. For some reason, she had taken off into the woods. The woods around these parts weren't exactly safe.

"Dude, where the hell are you going?" I heard Paul yell as I bolted for the trees.

"She's out there. I'm going after her," I hollered back, hoping he would understand. Paul had dealt with my irrational behavior so far. What's a little more craziness from me?

Before I hit the tree line, my body split apart, bringing forth the wolf inside. I immediately found her trail and sprinted in its direction. I followed her every move, never wavering off where she'd been. I panicked a little because it seemed that she was heading for the ocean, which would lead her into Quileute territory, where wolves still hunted vampires.

That's when I began to hear Jared and Leah murmuring about picking up an unusual scent. I knew they were probably closer to finding her than I was, which made me shift my running into overdrive. I had to get to her before they did.

 _Leah, do you think it's actually a vamp?_ I heard Jared ask.

It wasn't long before I saw Leah pause and smell the air around her and growl in pleasure.

 _Yes, Jared. It's a vamp, and we get to kill it today. How did we get so lucky? It's been too long._ I flinched when I heard Leah talk because I knew she was enjoying this a little too much.

 _Leah, stand down!_ I yelled, giving her direct orders from her alpha. She sometimes took longer to convince to follow instructions than the others because she would almost always fight my commands. It was just her style. Usually Leah would ask for forgiveness later rather than beg for permission up front, but she always did as I asked in the end. She liked the power struggle; I did not.

_What's your problem? A leech is on our land, Jacob, and it must die. It's not fair to deny me the kill. Wait! Look! There she is. Poor thing has nowhere to run now._

I could see Renesmee through Leah's eyes, and the terrified look on her face almost brought me to my knees. Her brown eyes were wide with fear, and soon Leah's teeth were mere centimeters from her neck. The tears running down Renesmee's cheeks made me roar with anger.

I wanted to hide the fact that I had imprinted, not wanting to explain it to the pack just yet. Only Paul knew, and I liked it that way. Learning how to block out the things I wanted to keep from the pack had become easy for me over the years. I thought I would be able to keep my imprinting a secret, but it looked as if I'd have no other choice. Leah and Jared would have to know that the vampire they were about to kill was my imprint.

 _Get away from her, Clearwater, or you'll have to deal with me!_ I ordered again. I was almost there, and I was ready to hurt Leah.

 _She smells like blood. What the hell, Jake? What kind of bloodsucker has blood running through their veins?_ She paused, gathering her thoughts. _Please let me kill her. I promise not to argue with you from here on out if you do,_ I heard Leah ask while watching her jowls open to the smooth skin of Renesmee's neck.

I growled in anger, unable to bear how Leah was treating my imprint.

 _I won't hurt her, Jake, maybe just scare her a little_ , she purred.

 _Don't you dare_ , I roared, finally honing in on where they were. _She's my imprint, and you'll leave her alone!_

I didn't have time to hear Leah's reaction because I leaped through the clearing right on top of her. She fought me as we rolled into the woods, cursing me every step of the way.

 _You imprinted? On her? On a leech?_ Those questions began the tirade I didn't want to have with her. I didn't have time to argue. I'd have to deal with her later.

 _Leah, get the fuck away from me! I'm so pissed at you right now that you just need to go. Take Jared and go patrol something, anything!_ I screamed.

Leah had phased back, shrieking and carrying on about my imprint. I'd had enough of her hissy fit, and soon I let the wolf in me fade away and felt my human form take over.

"Get away now," I ordered one last time, pointing to the woods. I heard Jared snort at Leah, motioning her to come with him. At least he did what I asked.

"I just don't understand, Jake."

"I'll explain everything later, but for now, I need to make sure she's okay." My voice had softened a bit, and I hoped Leah would back down. I let out a sigh of relief, watching her follow Jared into the bushes.

"If we didn't scare her to death already, you're going to, walking around here naked with your shit all hanging out," she cackled right before she ran out of sight. Happy to see Leah go, I slowly made my way to Renesmee.

"Are you all right?" I asked her; she was grasping at the dirt in obvious distress.

Did I really just ask such a stupid question? Of course she wasn't all right. Leah had almost ripped her throat out. How would you be doing after coming face to face with death? I knew she must have been shocked and confused with what she had just experienced.

"I was almost killed by a giant wolf. What do you think?" she uttered, gritting her teeth and never once making eye contact with me. I walked to her, wanting to take her in my arms and comfort her, but I knew better.

Now that I was finally face to face with her, I had no clue what to do. We didn't talk for what seemed like hours. I wanted to say so much, but then I couldn't find the right words. During our silence, I sat down next to her on my knees, almost touching. She didn't seem to protest, so I got as close to her as I could, feeling the warmth radiate from her. I heard her heart rate increase with me being so close. I soon remembered that I was naked. I hadn't thought of clothes in my haste to find Renesmee, but I didn't care.

My body felt immediately calm in her presence. I could sense her anger, but the fact that she stayed by me and didn't run away gave me the courage to continue.

"Is that what you are?" she asked.

"Yes."

"It's your job to kill me, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I'm not going to."

"And I'm supposed to hate you, too. Right?"

I nodded and then asked, "Do you hate me?"

She didn't speak right away, obviously struggling with her answer. "Yes...and no."

A warm feeling settled through me. Knowing I wasn't completely hated by her was more than I could hope for.

"Do you hate me?" she breathed.

"I could never hate you," I replied, moving a lock of hair out of her face.

My fingers couldn't help their migration to the milky skin of her arm. I was too close to her to resist touching her. I'd only been apart from her for less than a day, but it could've been years for how long it felt. I barely touched her forearm but sensed the hum of attraction that we both now shared with our supernatural connection. My imprint didn't realize what was happening to her, and I hoped she'd give me a chance to explain.

"Don't touch me," she spat, throwing my hand off hers in less than a millisecond, using all her strength.

"I deserved that."

"You deserve a lot worse."

I laughed just a bit, knowing she was right. I did deserve much worse but hoped she'd forgive me and not let me continue to live in my own personal hell.

"You think this is funny?"

Oh, shit. My stupidity had gotten the best of me. It wasn't the brightest idea to smirk at the the girl I was trying to beg forgiveness from.

"No...I..." Explaining myself became futile.

"Do you think it's funny? I'm laughing so hard right now," she said sarcastically. "You wouldn't be laughing if you knew how I felt. I know it was just a one-night stand to you, but I deserve better."

"You do deserve better, and I'm an idiot. I want to tell you so much, but I don't know where to start."

"I shouldn't even give you a chance to explain," she whispered.

"I want to take away the pain I've caused. I'm sorry," I breathed back, letting my lips find her hair. I let them linger there, and she didn't move away from me. My fingers made their way back to her arm. This time she let them stay.

"Do you know what it feels like to be left alone like that? Do you know how humiliating it is to be found by my mom and dad and have to explain everything to them?" My heart dropped watching her hide her face in her hands as she tried to keep from sobbing. I would never forgive myself for making her feel this way. I would never stop trying to make it up to her. Never.

I'd been left behind and forgotten before, so I did know how it felt. I remembered Bella choosing Edward over me, and I wanted to die because I couldn't have her. I didn't want Renesmee, their daughter, to know my past, but I didn't want to lie, so I answered the best could.

"Yeah, I know what it feels like."

"You've been left before?" she asked; I could feel her trembling. If I could hold her, I knew she would stop, but I needed to take baby steps. Too much too soon would be wrong.

"I have, but the person I loved at the time didn't come back to me," I explained. "That's why I'm here."

"It was my mother, wasn't it?"

My look of astonishment must have given my answer away. How did she know? The only way she could know about that is if her mom and dad had filled her in on everything. That meant they knew about me, and I knew one thing for certain.

Edward was going to kill me.

"It's true then? It was her; I can tell by your reaction. You still love her, don't you?"

"It's true," I started to speak, not answering the way I wanted to.

"I knew you still loved her. I knew I was crazy to think you could you be interested in someone like me."

"No. No. You misunderstood. I did love her, a long time ago, but I love someone else now. I'm so stupid, Renesmee."

"You know my real name?"

I nodded.

"If you don't mind, I might just call you Ness. It's much easier to say. You don't look like a Renee," I smiled. She looked up at me, giving me a crooked smile back.

"Who is she then?" she questioned as she turned her body towards mine, running her fingers mindlessly over my hand. I couldn't take my eyes off her face, and I silently vowed to never wash my hand again.

"Who are you talking about?" I truly couldn't concentrate on the question she had asked me. Now that I was with Ness, and she wasn't hating or beating me senseless, all I desired was to have my body pressed to hers. I wanted her any way she'd let me have her. My mouth craved the taste of hers and the feel of her soft lips on mine. There was no denying the attraction we felt to each other when we were together.

"The girl you love. If it's not Bella, who is it?" Her other hand crept up my forearm, which sent pleasurable signals out to my body; I was instantly turned on. The blood began to rush freely, making my heart pound faster and my dick stand on alert. Her touch made me alive, and I wanted more. I had a feeling she knew the answer to her question but was playing a game with me; and shit, I didn't care. I'd let her play with me all day, just as long as she never left my side.

I leaned in to her, wanting to show her my answer. My arms slowly began wrapping around her body, and she moved into me as I did. I watched her lips as I honed in to them, aching to finally have them again. I listened to her suck in a quick breath of air in anticipation, but before I made contact, I whispered, "It's you. I'm in love with you."

A sigh escaped from Ness. Then I closed the distance between us and finally kissed her, tasting her sweetness on my tongue. So much for baby steps.

Her nails scraped up my biceps to my shoulders, pausing and caressing. My embrace encompassed her entire body; one arm took her around her waist while the other arm took her head in my grasp. Her mouth engulfed mine, anticipating my next move. Her sharp teeth nipped at my lip, barely drawing blood. I paused, but I didn't care because I was more turned on by her licking the blood that surface and moaning in satisfaction as she did.

I began leaning forward, taking her down to the ground with me. I wanted her body pressed to mine and felt undaunted as she moved right in sync with me. Her hands came to rest on either side of my face after I lay her down on the soft grass, and I could hear the waves crash below us. She opened her legs up for me, and I rested happily between them, feeling like I was finally home. I started to kiss her again but heard something strange.

_How can you love me?_

It was her voice, but I didn't see her say anything. I answered anyway.

"I just do. I just know that I do. How are you...I mean, how did you do that?"

_What if I'm still unsure about loving you? Do you still love me?_

"Yeah, I do. I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes." Her hands stayed on my face, caressing it. I closed my eyes, reveling in how good she felt. Everything about her, her hands, her lips, her body, was enough to drive me crazy with desire. I wanted no one else.

_Even if I'm...unusual...someone you're supposed to hate?_

"If you're unusual, then what does that make me? We both don't quite fit the mold of the picture-perfect couple, do we? How are you talking to me? Please tell me." I craved to know.

_My gift. I can make you feel and see the things I do, and right now, I want you to make me feel good, Jacob. Can you do that for me?_

Her thighs squeezed my hips when her legs wrapped around me, showing me what she wanted. My mouth dove into her neck, marking her with my kisses and wetting her skin with every lap of my tongue. I could feel her slender fingers traipsing up and down my back, taking their time and feeling every muscle. I gently began to rock back and forth over her; my dick moved over her pussy. Her clothes were a hindrance that would soon have to come off, but for now, I just enjoyed having my imprint near me again.

My senses that usually were astute to my surroundings were all focused on what I was doing with Ness. I no longer heard the animals in the bushes, the waves of the ocean, or the wind in the trees. The only things I was aware of in this moment was the sound of her heartbeat, her bated breaths, and tiny moans that emanated from her chest whenever I did something she liked. I made it my goal to make her moan and moan often. Usually this kind of focus was good for a lover to posses; however, it was not so good when her father showed up, and I had no fair warning of his arrival.

"Renesmee, would you kindly get out from beneath the man I'm going to rip apart?"

Not only was I not expecting Edward to show up, I had no idea how to control myself around him. I had hated this leech for so long; I didn't know how to let him know I wanted a truce. How in the world did I show him that I'm done being a stupid, stubborn guy when I was practically fucking his daughter on the ground? It wasn't my best day; I'd say that's for sure.

I'm sorry. I felt Ness share with me.

"No worries. He can't kill me too easily, right?"

"I wouldn't count on that, Wolf Boy. I just might enjoy ripping you apart limb from limb."

I didn't move off Ness very quickly because there was the whole naked factor I had going.

Edward chivalrously turned his back, allowing me to get off his daughter. As soon as I stood, he let me have it.

"How dare you! Do you have no values? Do you have no decency?" Edward began his tirade, circling me as he did. I sensed Ness behind me, but I tried to keep my focus on her father, who shot daggers at me with his eyes.

"I know this looks bad, and it's not my best moment, but if you let me explain things, then I might make you understand," I explained, hoping to find a reprieve. Maybe if he knew about the imprint, then he'd understand.

Edward smirked and kept his march around me. His eyes were wilder than I remembered, and they freaked me out a little. Yep, I was a dead man.

"What would you do in my shoes, Jacob? If you had a daughter, and you found out someone had taken her virtue and abandoned her? What would you do?"

"Virtue? When was that word used last? Like 1942? What are you talking about anyhow?" I didn't want to address the fact that I'd probably rip apart any guy who did anything to hurt my imaginary, future daughter. I wasn't going to go there. It'd only be worse for me if I agreed with him.

"Virtue is something that's valued in the Cullen family. Let's just say you took my daughter's innocence from her; something she'll never get back."

"What the-" I couldn't speak. I'd taken her virtue, her innocence. Did he mean she was a virgin? Fuck! I hadn't a clue. Now I really felt like shit.

"Dad! Stop it, please."

"Renesmee, please stay out of this," her father scolded, but I didn't care what he said. I'd slept with her and taken her virginity, and I had no idea. I was either the biggest prick in the universe for not sensing her needs or the luckiest bastard alive because I couldn't tell that she had never done such a thing before.

I turned to see my imprint behind me behind me with her arms folded around her body. I guess she was shaken by me knowing this intimate of detail about her, and I'm sure it wasn't how she wanted me to find out. If I could just explain what happened on that elevator, then maybe Edward would calm down. He was aware of my tribe's legends and understood their meaning. If he knew, it might clear up this whole mess.

I began thinking of what I felt when I saw Ness for the first time, hoping Edward would read my thoughts. It was easier than explaining to him what had happened. I wasn't the master of words in the first place.

Edward just stood and stared at me.

"Can you not hear me, Edward? Why aren't you picking my brain like you were so used to doing twenty years ago?"

It was then I saw a flash of red through the trees. The wind blew through her red dress, sending her hair whipping around her head. She was still beautiful, even though she had died and became one of them.

"He can't read your mind because I'm protecting it. I have been since the wedding," Bella answered, approaching us.

"Yes, much to my chagrin, she's felt the need to protect you, even after all these years," Edward scowled, folding his arms across his chest.

"You're protecting my mind? I'm so seriously confused right now." My head swirled with too much information. Too many vampire powers were manifesting today for my liking.

I felt a gentle touch of Ness' hand on my arm. She's has a shield. She can protect your thoughts from Dad. She's been doing it for me for years. She can use it in other ways, too, but I don't really think we have time for that now.

"I just felt that with everything that you've been through, you wouldn't want my husband in your head all the time. I figured you could hate us privately. Do you have something against that?" Bella seethed. I'm pretty sure that I was on her shit list, as well.

"No...I don't have a problem at all."

"Good. Now let's get back to the matter of you and Renesmee. It needs to stop now. I can't have her with someone who doesn't value her and sees her as someone to use for sex," Edward said.

"You see, there's a problem now. I don't think you understand. She means more to me than you can know," I tried to explain, trying to keep my temper under control.

"No, you found someone who would believe all your lies. She's still too young and impressionable to know how to deal with the libido of the human male."

"Dad, stop it! Quit talking about me like I'm ten. I'm mature beyond my years, and you have no idea what you're talking about." Ness screamed, moving away from me and closer to the edge of the cliff.

Edward started to yell back, but my scream stopped the heated exchange.

"Bella, lift your...shield thing or whatever it is. Let him see," I requested. Unconsciously, I put myself between Edward and Ness. Protecting her was already first in my mind.

"You don't know what you're asking, Jacob," Bella tried to reason.

"Jacob, no! He can't see...he can't see what happened," Ness cried with worry. I understood her concern. I would do my best to never let our private moments be shared with anyone other than us. They were for Ness and me only.

"No, I know what I'm doing. He needs to see what happened before. Even you don't know." I found myself walking to Edward, falling to my knees. "Please, Bella. Lift your shield. I need him to see."

"Go ahead, Love. Let the man show me what he needs to."

I quickly began revealing myself to Edward. I thought of the wedding and how I stormed out angry. I showed him every emotion I was going through.

"Is there a point to this, dog? I already know you hate me."

_Hold on a little longer, leech._

I then heard him hiss at me in anger, but what I would show him next would either make him understand or make him want to kill me even more.

In my mind, the elevator doors opened; a wounded but beautiful Ness entered. I showed him the lights and the way Renesmee's face glowed in the shadows of the illumination. His eyes didn't show any emotion as I revealed to him how the pull felt as I imprinted on her right there in the elevator. I tried to let him know that the way I felt for his daughter was no fly-by-night romance; it was the real thing.

_I love her, Edward. I want to be with her. You can kill me if you'd like, but she's my imprint. She feels it, too._

Edward's bared his teeth and another hiss escaped his mouth. He stiffened his marbled body even more than it already was. I saw him run his fingers through his hair, grabbing it before he released it.

"What is it, Edward? What did he show you?" Bella inquired, tired of the silence.

"He...he...Jacob imprinted on our Renesmee," Edward said with difficulty.

I heard a gasp from behind me, and I knew that Ness hadn't expected to hear that either.

I turned to check on her but suddenly felt a force hit me from the side.

"You imprinted on my baby!" was all Bella yelled as she tackled me on the edge of the cliff.

Before Bella and I hit the ground, we accidentally hit Ness, who was sent over the edge into the depths of the churning waters.

~o~O~o~


	9. Boy Falls From the Sky

Many thanks to my beta Jkane180 and my pre-readers and all-around support system, Pemberlyrose and MissBratt.

~o~O~o~

"See how the boy falls from the sky.

The city converts to a symphony.f

The search through shit for a melody.

A single scrap of dignity.

In the junkyard of humanity.

On the burning rubble, in a sulphur sky.

We look for music, you and I.

Over the screams and the siren wail

The cackle when love is up for sale.

The subway screech slows down the drain.

The thunder when there is no rain.

So listen hard, listen again.

To your own lone voice when there ain't none there.

You know exactly what to do.

The you in me, the me in you.

Together, you start, must help us see.

And when you're done,

And when you're done,

And you believe."

_Boy Falls From the Sky_ by U2

~o~O~o~

It all happened so fast. My eyes kept darting back and forth between my father, my mom, and then Jacob. I kept backing up, moving away from them all, not really knowing what I was doing or where I was going.

"Bella, lift your... shield thing or whatever it is. Let him see," Jacob requested as he put his body between me and my parents. He seemed to sense my every movement.

"You don't know what you're asking, Jacob," my mom said, and I began to panic. What was he wanting to show my father and why? Jacob couldn't let him see. Why would he do such a thing? Jacob had to have an ounce of chivalry left in his body.

"Jacob, no! He can't see... he can't see what happened," I cried. My heart just about leapt out of my chest because I couldn't bear my father seeing what Jacob and I had done last night.

"No, I know what I'm doing. He needs to see what happened before. Even you don't know." When he spoke, he used a tone of voice that immediately made me trust him, even though I didn't want to.

He had been holding something back, but what was it? On one hand, I wanted to stay and listen to what he had to say, but on the other, I wanted to throw up, knowing my most private moments would be revealed. In horror, I watched Jacob fall to his knees, readying himself for my worst nightmare.

"Please, Bella. Lift your shield. I need him to see."

"Go ahead, Love. Let the man show me what he needs to."

The silence was deafening. I just wanted to scream and tell them all to leave me alone. To run away and never deal with any of this sounded like a great plan to me. I could survive by waiting tables at a café in the Italian countryside, couldn't I? I knew the language and had my own money. Falling off the face of the earth sounded better than what was going on right now.

I almost had my fake name picked out when I heard my father hiss in anger, sending me back to reality. His brow furrowed as he read Jacob's thoughts, and the look he had on his face disturbed me; I'd never seen him so angry. Then the words my dad spoke flew by like a big gust of wind, and I wasn't sure if I heard correctly. I didn't catch the whole sentence. I just heard one word.

Imprint.

Jacob must have heard my gasp. He must have sensed my shock.

He imprinted on me? When? How? My head hurt from the confusion; nothing made sense to me. I even felt a hint of betrayal, but soon, the self-loathing seeped in. How could he imprint on me? Isn't that usually saved for someone special? I tried to wrap my mind around the craziness surrounding me, but I never got the chance to process it.

Before I knew it, I was hit with a blunt force and began falling down into the swirling ocean below me, unable to do anything but allow it to happen. The water didn't scare me. The depths of the raging ocean didn't make me fear for my life. I wasn't afraid of any danger I was about to face, plunging head first into the water from such a great height.

Being Jacob's imprint scared the shit out of me.

My skin felt the cold of the water as my body dove deep beneath its depths. I let myself go limp, allowing my body to succumb to the unknown. I didn't want to fight the water or its current; I just needed to get my bearings to get out of here, and fighting the strength of the ocean would not help me.

For a second, I couldn't figure out which way was up. My sense of direction was gone, and the visibility in the churning water was zero. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. I finally began to move upwards, and I knew I would be okay soon. I could swim well, and holding my breath for a long time was no problem.

My ears popped, and my chest tightened as I made my ascent. Right as I surfaced, I gasped for air, taking in the salty water when I did. My lungs stung, and I began coughing. Getting a breath became difficult. I tried to swim, but the coughing kept me from focusing, and drinking a gallon of sea water didn't help my situation. I felt myself being swept with the current; it was taking me away from the shore.

I focused on treading water to get myself under control. Freaking out would only get me in more trouble. Soon, I was able to breathe and only felt small traces of the stinging. Needing to get out of this water, I began swimming towards the shore. I figured it wouldn't take me long to get there because I could lap Michael Phelps. Even though I was a good swimmer, the ocean was still an unpredictable place, and I was about to find out how unpredictable it really was.

The roaring sound of the huge wave came before I saw it, and even though it had warned me of its presence, I still didn't have a second to do anything about it. It came down on top of me, pushing me below the surface again. I flailed a bit in fear, but then I focused on surviving. Even though I was afraid to face them all, I still wanted to see my family again-and maybe even Jacob.

I was getting tired, and the swirling water easily inverted my body, moving me like a rag doll in its depths. That's when my back hit something hard, snapping my neck and causing my head to be thrown back. I remember the shooting pain and my silent scream, and soon everything went hazy.

The world around me began spinning more than it already had been. I couldn't move, and my body wasn't its own. I prayed to whatever force was out there to just help me hold on for a little while longer and not get thrown into the rocks again. Even through my blurry vision, I could see another swell bearing down on me. I tried to move, to swim against the strong current, but my body didn't respond to the warning signals my brain was giving. Only the tips of my fingers gave a twinge of movement. My stupid, half-human body was failing me just when I needed it the most.

I braced myself for the deluge of water that would send me back to the rocks and to the continuous dizzy spell. My form rolled head over feet with the wave. I didn't know how fast I would hit or how hard, and I became scared at this out-of-control feeling. I couldn't even raise my arms to shield my head from the blow, and I couldn't get to the surface for air. Time was running out.

Suddenly, I felt myself being pulled in the opposite direction. Warmth surrounded me, and a light flickered above my head. Was I dead? It wasn't long before I felt my chest contract, letting glorious oxygen fill my lungs. There was a calming scent that wafted all around me, letting me know I was going to be all right. I endured the hacking cough I couldn't control as I tried to keep breathing, and soon, I felt like I was coming back to my old self again.

I saw the gray sky moving above me and the sunlight breaking through some of the clouds. I could hear the water swishing around me, but it didn't push or pull me like it had done before. I realized that I was moving and had no idea how. I felt something or someone tighten their grasp on me. That's when I realized I wasn't dead and that I wasn't alone. A strong arm had wrapped around the middle of my body, and whoever had me was taking me to shore.

After another breath, it didn't take long for me to realize who was with me; the effect his presence had on me was undeniable. No wonder why I was so calm after almost drowning. Jacob somehow had gotten to me before I hit the rocks for a second time.

My body wanted to wrap itself around him and let him get me to safety. I wanted to stay with him and be protected in his safe embrace. My brain, on the other hand, was waving the red, warning flags, yelling at me to get away and quit being a stupid girl. I should've been thankful for him saving my life yet again, but I wanted to be mad at him.

I slowly turned my head, knowing I would see him-the one who imprinted on me. The one who left me but then professed his love to me. The one who had my heart and body confused. I couldn't think around him. I was so angry with him earlier, before my fall, and I became putty once his fingers grazed my skin. I wanted to hate him and cuss him out for the misery he'd caused me, but all I could imagine as he held me on the edge of the cliff was his hand, moving down my hip, casually pulling my panties to the side, and then touching the wetness that was always there when he was close.

I remembered I had to stifle the moan before embarrassing myself. I couldn't let him know how I fantasized about him. He didn't need to know that part about me, and he didn't deserve to know. I bit my lip, pushing my fantasy to the side. That's when he told me he loved me, and I lost all self-control. Anything he wanted, I would give him. Anything, that is, except for my love.

I had never been in love, and I didn't know if I loved Jacob or not. I just met him and was constantly thinking about him, but did that mean I loved him? Of course I wanted him. The sex was amazing, even though I'd only slept with him once. And he was my only lover, so what did I know? I just knew he had everything a woman could want. His body, from top to bottom, made my knees weak. Who knows what would've happened if my parents hadn't showed up?

Here I was, in the middle of the ocean, being rescued again by this guy that I loved to hate. Just the touch of his arm around me was making it difficult to think-or was it the crashing blow into the rocks that did that? My head started to hurt, and I was sure it was Jacob's fault. Blaming Jacob for everything I was going through sounded like a good idea to me. I began seething in anger.

"Let go of me," I gritted through my teeth. I didn't need him to help me because I could swim on my own. I pushed away from him with all my strength.

Without a word, he let go of me, and I dove beneath the water, making a bee-line to the shore. I could feel him swimming close by, and I swam even faster, just wanting to get away from him. The closer he was to me, the more I couldn't think. I needed to sort out these feelings, and having him near me wouldn't help.

Once I got to the shallow water, I collapsed on my back, taking in the sea air and thankful to be safe. My clothes clung to my body; my jeans and sweater felt heavy on my skin. Somewhere along the way, I'd lost my shoes. They must be half way to China by now.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I closed my eyes, knowing he was next to me. I could feel my body relax and want to gravitate to him, and I finally figured out why. It was the damn imprint. It had nothing to do with attraction or love, just the dumb imprint. I remember feeling sorry for Aylen and how she had no choice in falling in love with Seth. Now I was the one in her situation. Fuck my life.

"I'm fine," I replied, and I moved to my knees, needing to get as far away from him as possible. He spoke then, and I froze. _Need more space. Can't let him get to me again._

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way... about the imprint. I wanted to tell you when we were alone."

I finally looked at him, and dammit if I forgot the fact that he was still naked.

My vocal chords didn't work; I wanted to respond, but when I tried, I let out a little bit of air followed by an embarrassing squeak. I tried to look away, but there he was, on his knees in the water. He was wet, and little drops were running down his body, ebbing and flowing in and out of the many muscles. I watched one trail of water trickle down his chest, between his pecs and disappear in the maze of abs below. I tried not to think about what lay beneath the water. I quit chewing on my finger nail once I realized I was ogling the man I couldn't stand at the moment.

Behind him, the cliffs rose ominously out of the water, jutting in and out for several hundred feet. It was a miracle that I hadn't hit anything on the way down. I stared at Jacob, wondering how he got to me so fast. Looking back to the cliffs, I came to one conclusion.

"Did you jump?" I asked, forgetting his apology about how I found out about the imprint.

"I did."

"You jumped? Off that cliff? On purpose?"

He nodded his head.

"Why? What for?"

"To save you." I swear my uterus flipped when he ran his fingers through his hair and then proceeded to shake the water from his body.

"I don't need saving, thank you very much," I scowled.

"Well, it didn't look like it to me."

"I had it under control," I explained.

"Another minute, and you'd have been fish food."

"Well, I would have figured it out. You shouldn't be risking your life by jumping off the cliff for me anyway."

"We do it all the time. It's no big deal," he boasted.

"You're crazy, you know. You could get killed."

Jacob let out a cocky laugh, smirking at the same time. Damn if he didn't look edible at the moment. _Get under control. He's a jerk. You need to get as far away from his as possible._

"Highly doubt it. It takes a lot to kill me."

I slowly got to my feet and began backing away from him, needing space. Every part of me wanted to slap that smart mouth of his, but then I started daydreaming of kissing those lips after hitting him. He'd be mad and be reluctant to kiss me, but then he'd succumb to his desire for me. Maybe we'd drop to the sand and let ourselves get carried away...

"Did you hear me?" he asked. His voice called me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I took my hands and rubbed my temples, trying to relax. The deep breathing wasn't helping me either.

"I need you to know that I meant every word I said up there." He began to rise from the water, and I knew he would try and get closer to me. I couldn't handle that. My body wanted to stay with him and believe everything he said, but the rational part of me said to run away and do it fast.

"Stop. Don't move," I yelled to him.

"What the-"

"I can't have you getting near me; you make it difficult to think."

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not."

"You can try to fight the imprint, but you won't be able to for long. I know from personal experience."

"We have chemistry. I give you that, but we're not meant to be. What we have is all physical, all lust. There's nothing that says we're supposed to be together."

"The imprint is the universe's way of saying we're meant for each other; don't you see? You're the only woman in the world I'm ever going to want or need." He rose out of the water, sending a small waterfall of water down his body. I averted my eyes, not wanting to see him naked again. He was too distracting.

Jacob may think he loved me, but I needed him to understand he was being delusional.

"I'm your enemy, Jacob. It doesn't make sense. Your should love someone else, not me." I couldn't bear to think about him moving on to love someone else, but I didn't deserve the kind of love that supposedly came from the imprint. It belonged to someone more like him and not like me. I was destined to be alone in this world that I didn't have a place in.

"Ness, you're talking crazy. Let's just get out of here and discuss it."

"My name is Renesmee."

"Okay, Renesmee. Whatever you want me to call you, I will. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."

"Then you need to leave. You already know how to do that pretty well."

"Dammit, Ness-Renesmee! I'm not going to leave again. I'm here to be with you. Don't you get it?"

"I guess I don't, Jacob. I don't understand how this imprinting thing works, and I don't want to. I don't want to be forced to love someone, just because an ancient Quileute tradition tells me to. You used me, and now you say you love me and want me to love you in return? It doesn't work that way."

"Please don't say that. Just give me a chance."

"You had your chance, and you left. I'll never forgive you for that. I need to go."

"Don't leave," he cried one last time.

"You heard my daughter. She wants to be left alone." I heard my father's voice behind me. My parents had arrived. How long they'd been listening, I didn't know. I should have been annoyed by their intrusiveness, but I welcomed the courage their presence gave. I was more likely to hold my ground with them here.

"Edward, you know I love her. You know what the imprint means." Jacob sounded desperate.

"I do, but right now, my daughter needs her space. She has already told you to leave her alone. Aren't you supposed to do as she says? Isn't that how the imprint works?"

"Yes," he whispered under his breath.

"Then honor her wishes."

I turned away from Jacob; his face looked tormented, and I couldn't bear to look at him any longer. We left him alone in the water, and I knew I'd caused him pain. A little bit of me was momentarily happy for leaving, feeling vengeful for the way he treated me, but it didn't take long before the guilt sunk in. I didn't find any satisfaction in his pain. Every step I took away from him seemed to make my sadness deepen. I felt pieces of myself being stripped away the further I got from him.

It wasn't long before I heard a lone howl echo in the air. I finally turned to look back at the water, and he was gone.

~o~

The night air was refreshing and helped me clear my mind. Being at my family's house in Forks, out in the middle of what seemed like nowhere, was nice. On a clear night, I could see the stars here; the lights of a nearby city didn't drown out their glow like they did back at our home in New Hampshire.

The balcony off my room was always a favorite place of mine, even though we didn't come here often. I liked the idea of having a little spot that was just my own where I could sit and think without anyone bothering me. It wasn't large, just enough for a chair and table-a nice place where I could drink hot tea in the morning and catch a glimpse of the rising sun over the tall trees.

I tied the belt of my silk robe tighter across my waist, feeling the cool, fall breeze pick up. Luckily, I had put my wet hair up in a towel right after my shower, or I'd have been chilled coming out here. Leaning against the rail, I tried to erase the events of the last day or so, but I forgot how hard it was to do so. On the verge of tears, I began thinking of school, work, friends-anything to keep from crying over Jacob. For the thousandth time that night, I kept my tears from falling. It was exhausting.

I couldn't help but feel lost; I felt like a ship at sea just floating around aimlessly, not knowing its destination. I once was a woman full of drive and determination to be the best at everything I did, but now, I just wanted to be far away from anything that reminded me of him. The sad part was that everything had Jacob in it. Everywhere I looked, there he was. I could feel him always around me; even now, it felt like he was here.

"He's out there, you know."

I jumped, hearing a voice interrupt my thoughts.

"Dad, don't you knock anymore? You scared me." I made my way back to the room, shutting the balcony doors behind me.

"You're losing your touch, sweetheart. Normally, you'd know that I'm at the door to your room before I even knock," he smiled, folding his arms across his chest. His eyes stared into the darkness, and I looked to see what he might be seeing out there.

"How do you know he's out there?"

"I can hear him."

"You can? I thought Mom was shielding his thoughts again?" I moved to my window and touched the glass with my palm. Knowing he was out there was somehow comforting to me.

"No, she wants to know what he's thinking. She's still not happy with the imprinting and wants to know his feelings. She figured if I can read his thoughts, then I can tell her more about what he feels for you."

"I-I don't know what to say." I wanted to ask a million questions, and not one would pop in my head. I wanted to know his thoughts, too, but did I really want to see that deep into Jacob's mind?

"I'm not exactly thrilled about Jacob imprinting on you. He's a grown man, and you're still practically a child..."

"I'm not a child, Dad. You know this."

"Well, you're a child in the relative scheme of things. Let's see how you feel about this when you've lived over a hundred years. You'll see that being twenty is nothing." I hated when my father pulled the I'm-immortal-and-have-lived-way-longer-than-you card. I just wanted to yell at him, but I refrained. He actually was being understanding. "I wasn't going to tell you this, but he does love you. He and I haven't exactly liked each other over the years, but we do have a mutual respect. I do know that Jacob will take care of you."

"Why are you telling me this now?" When did my father get on Jacob's side?

"Because I owe Jacob. I've done some terrible things in this life, and your mother had to live through hell because of my choices. If it weren't for Jacob..." he trailed off, looking away from me. "If it weren't for him, your mother wouldn't be here."

"What are you saying?" I asked, needing to know why my father was having a change of heart.

"I've never told you about it... it's still too painful. Let's just say that Jacob kept her safe when I didn't. He was the one to help her live through the mess I made."

"What mess? What did you do?" My father was being cryptic again, and I didn't like it.

"That's another story for another time." My father stepped close to me, taking both my hands in his. "I just need you to understand that no matter what happens, your mother and I will support whatever decision you make. I just want you to know that Jacob really does love you. I hear him as he paces in the woods, watching over you. I need to get your mom to keep his thoughts from me now that I know how he truly feels."

"Why don't you want to hear him anymore?"

My dad paused, reluctant to answer, but he must have sensed I needed to hear the truth.

"Because his pain is too much to bear."

I couldn't help but begin to cry after hearing those words come from my father. I had held it together, for the most part, after leaving Jacob back on the beach. For the rest of the day, I'd willed myself not to be the girl that cried all the time and wallowed in self-pity. I wanted to be strong to get over him and get on with my life. My brilliant plan was to not cry over a man ever again. I had great intentions to follow through with my plan, too. But as the old saying goes, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions.'

There were two things I knew for certain. One, I was a blubbering idiot because my plan lasted only a few hours.

Two, there was no getting over Jacob Black.

~o~O~o~


	10. Moment of Surrender

Thanks to Jkane180 who is the best beta. She really is. Thanks to my lovely friends and pre-readers MissBratt and pemberlyrose for helping me out.

~o~O~o~

"At the moment of surrender,

I folded to my knees.

I did not notice the passers-by,

And they did not notice me.

I've been in every black hole

At the altar of the dark star.

My body's now a begging bowl

That's begging to get back, begging to get back."

_Moment of Surrender_ by U2

~o~O~o~f

I watched as she turned on her light, and from the distance, I could see her moving about the room. I tried not to get too close because I didn't want her to know I was here. Edward would know of my presence if Bella wasn't shielding my thoughts, and I was surprised he hadn't made me leave yet. If Bella knew I were out here, I'd be kicked to the curb immediately. She reacted so violently to the imprint that I halfway expected her to jump out of the bushes and attack me at any moment. Looking over my shoulder at every noise in the woods had grown tiring.

I couldn't blame Bella for the way she acted. I pretty much left without a word and ignored her for the past twenty years, and then the first time she saw me again, I acted like a fool. The fact that I fucked her daughter then ran out on her immediately after taking her virginity didn't make things any better. If she would let me talk to her, I was sure she would calm down and become the Bells I remembered... at least, I hoped she would. I understood her anger; I'd imprinted on her beloved daughter. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first choice in a mate for Ness, but maybe she'd grow to accept it.

But I couldn't worry about Bella and Edward now. My focus was the woman who now stood on the balcony, taking my breath away as she stared into the darkness. A low growl rumbled from my wolf form, and the need for her emanated from my body. Wanting her, needing her, was all I could think about. She consumed me.

I wanted to leave-needed to leave, but the pull wouldn't allow me.

I tried to be still; making any noise at this point would alert her to me. I knew she was still hurt and angry at me, so I couldn't make it any worse by showing her that I was stalking her like some sick fuck. Hell, who was I kidding? I was a sick fuck. I sat out in the woods as a wolf, watching over a girl who hated me.

If someone had told me a week ago I'd be doing something like this, I would've laughed in their face. I was Jacob Black, CEO of Black Enterprises. Back in San Francisco, I had become quite successful in the computer business. I ended up selling my start-up business to a major software company a few years ago and have made more money than I've ever dreamed of. I continued to working in the business, but because of the wealth my smart decisions had given me, I was flexible in when and where I worked.

I still had a house in Napa, but my heart would always belong on the Rez. I moved my offices there, and now employed many of the Quileute people who struggled with the fluctuating economy. My business gave the Rez a security that it had never seen before, and it made me proud to be able to give back to the place that made me who I was today.

Who I was _now_ wasn't something that I could be proud of. I was a sad sack of a wolf who hung out in the sticks and leaves, hoping my imprint would accept me. I'd been reduced to playing the waiting game again; something I told myself I'd never do again.

It looked like she'd just showered-the towel was still wrapped around her hair. I tried to push away thoughts of her naked body in the shower, but it was hard. Thoughts of water trickling down the curves of her breasts and hips weren't going to get me back to her. If Edward could hear me, I didn't need impure thoughts of Ness running through my head, but it was difficult. From where I sat, I could see her nipples through the material of her robe when she pulled it tighter around her small waist.

Then a pang shot through my chest. The anguish of her not wanting me hung in the air all around me. Every breath I took reminded me of how she rejected me, and it kept getting harder and harder to breathe.

The emptiness of her not being with me slapped me in the face. The more I thought about her, the harder it became to just sit and wait this one out. I wanted to climb up to her balcony and try to make her see how the imprint wasn't a bad thing, but I would freak her out more doing so.

The imprint news must have scared her. I knew she thought that the only feelings she had for me were because of the imprint; she told me so. I racked my brain trying to figure out a way to make her see that I truly loved her, and that she loved me. Nothing came to mind.

I realized I still was a pitiful excuse for an alpha, pining over a girl.

Snap!

A noise startled me out of my thoughts, and I moved my eyes in its direction, away from Ness. There was silence, no other movements, and I chalked it up to an animal running through the brush. When I returned my attention to the balcony, I found it empty. I let out a whimper, already missing the sight of her. I had become weak, and the guys on patrol could definitely sense that. They left me alone about it. At least for now.

Snap!

I heard it again and realized I wasn't alone, but I couldn't see who or what was out there. I heard a whoosh fly by my right side, and I immediately stood at attention. My heart beat faster, not from fear, but from the excitement. I wasn't scared of anything-at least not until this moment because what I saw made my fur stand on end.

Bella stepped out into the moonlight, and the look on her face scared the shit out of me.

I'd only seen her briefly at the wedding, freaking out as soon as I realized the brown eyes that were distinctly Bella were no longer there, and a golden hue had taken their place. I stood dumbfounded at the way she looked. It was Bella, but it wasn't. She looked taller, more confident. She didn't hunch over like she had always done. I really didn't care about her body and its shape anymore, but she looked more mature, more filled out.

Bella looked beautiful standing before me, but the look in her eyes was fierce. I needed to be scared. She wasn't the Bells who broke her hand after punching me. This woman was a killer now, and she could hurt me-if I let her.

I stayed in my wolf form, not wanting to set her off by phasing into Jacob in front of her. I wasn't sure why she'd snuck up on me. Did she want to talk? My guess was that she wanted to hurt me.

I stood my ground but tensed as she walked, as if on air, towards me. Her eyes never left mine.

"You didn't talk to me for twenty years, even though I tried to contact you. You left without a word to anyone, but I understood that you needed to go. It hurt not to be around you, but I knew you needed time. I gave you time, and you know I have an eternity to wait. You left Seth's wedding, causing a scene because I was there. I was okay with that. I knew you'd been hurt by me. It didn't take me twenty years to realize what I did to you; I knew immediately before we battled Victoria. I knew it hurt you when you found out I was marrying Edward.

If you'd let me talk to you yesterday, then I would've begged for forgiveness and asked to be friends again, but you never gave me that chance. I could live with that because I don't deserve your forgiveness. I could live forever with complete understanding of why you hated me. I didn't have to like it, but it was the way it would have to be."

As she spoke, I took in her words, digesting them slowly and trying to process each one of them. I knew I'd acted like a hot-headed kid avoiding her all these years, taking my anger out on her. I'd wanted to punish her for not choosing me.

Now I understood why we weren't meant to be. Renesmee was my destiny, not Bella. I immediately felt awful for how I'd acted. Ignoring her for all these years had the outcome I wanted; she did feel guilty. But after imprinting, I no longer felt the need for revenge; I didn't feel the need to make Bella pay for not choosing me anymore.

I lowered my head, hopefully showing my humility and readiness to listen to her and take everything she threw at me. I deserved it.

"What I can't live with is knowing that you, of all people, hurt my daughter. You were my best friend-the one who helped me through my darkest times. Even though you hate me now, I still knew that I could trust you, no matter what. I would never believe anyone if they ever talked badly about you because my Jacob would never do anything to hurt another person, but I was wrong. So wrong."

I watched as she looked downward, shaking her head in disgust.

"I cannot tell you how much I wanted to punish you earlier and make you feel what I felt inside. When I figured out it was you who had hurt my daughter, I couldn't stop shaking. I thought you used Renesmee in some sick way to get back at me for choosing Edward all those years ago.

You were lucky it was him who found you on the cliff first. It wasn't but a few hours ago that my only regret in attacking you was that it sent my daughter off the cliff. The heat of the moment makes you do stupid things, right?"

I whimpered in agreement.

"You should know," she spit out, and instinctively I growled at her below-the-belt comment.

"Sorry, Jake. I'm still trying to process this whole thing." She paused, and I watched the anger in her face subside. "You imprinted on her, huh?"

I nodded my head and closed my eyes. She unexpectedly placed her hand on my head, making me suddenly feel a little better.

"Even though I'm upset with you and how things played out with Renesmee, I do know you love her and that you had no idea that she was my daughter. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead right now, but it's you. You may be stupid and screw things up _a lot_ , but you don't lie about your feelings, and you wouldn't hurt my daughter on purpose."

I nudged her with my nose, getting a smile from her. For the first time in years, I no longer felt anger towards her. I no longer needed her to pay for hurting me. We were just Bells and Jake, kind of hanging out again.

"Now... You can't exactly try and grovel to my daughter like this, and you really can't go talk to her after you phase. Go get cleaned up, and I promise I'll answer the door when you get back."

I looked up at her in disbelief. She was actually inviting me to her house to talk to Ness, and I wouldn't have to fear for my life. Well, Edward might still want to kill me, but at least Bella was on my side, which would help.

I watched as she started to walk away but stopped to say one last thing.

"Make sure you thank my husband. He's the reason I'm out here talking to you."

She disappeared in a flash, without a sound, and my jaw dropped to the ground. Edward was on my side?

I looked around for the ice because Hell must've been freezing over.

~o~O~o~

I parked my truck in the driveway and took one last look in the rearview mirror. I still looked like shit. My hair wouldn't keep from sticking up, my eyes looked tired, and I was nervous as fuck.

Even though I wanted to see her immediately, Bella was right, I needed to clean up. Ness was already mad at me; I didn't need her repulsed by me as wll. After Bella told me that she'd invite me in her home to talk to Ness, I couldn't get to my house fast enough. I showered and changed into jeans and a t-shirt as fast as I could. I sped in my Chevy Avalanche to her house. I froze as soon as my truck door shut behind me.

I had so many memories of this house-most of them filled with watching Bella hang all over Edward, adding salt to the wound. I hadn't been back here until tonight. The Cullens had kept this house after all these years, and I'd made sure I steered clear of it. I didn't want to know if and when they ever visited; it was better for me to try and forget that piece of my past. Part of me still clung to those memories, but another part had suddenly opened up and wanted to let in an unfamiliar need for a new love. I had kept my heart guarded for so long, and now, I was ready to give it away to the only woman who mattered now: Ness.

I didn't know if I had the nerve to walk up the front steps. Did I want to be rejected again? Could I handle it?

Suddenly, a vision flashed before my eyes: a beautiful day with lots of flowers and the sun shining, kids running, laughter, my father grinning from ear to ear, my pack brothers giving me a hard time; Ness smiling, wearing white. The scene was so vivid and real that it took me a minute to focus again. Something told me to place one foot in front of the other. I needed to go to the door and have the courage to face my fate. I wanted what my vision showed me. I wanted it with all my soul, even though I had no clue how we'd get there. I just knew I was happy with her in that brief glimpse of what could be with my imprint and soul mate.

I cleared my throat before I tried to force my finger to ring the doorbell. The door opened before my hand could even move. I should have know they'd already know I was here, and I suddenly felt like I was sixteen again. Bella answered the door, smiling like the old Bells I'd known so long ago. I couldn't help but smile back.

The house hadn't changed at all-the same neutral colors, the same art on the wall, the same chairs in the same places. I tried to speak, but the lump in my throat kept me from it.

"Welcome back, Jake. We've been expecting you," she said, almost singing as she took my arm and moved me through the entryway.

I watched as Edward emerged from the kitchen, folding his arms tightly across his chest. My throat constricted even more. He looked like he was about to pounce on me and drain me of every ounce of blood running through my veins. I wanted to shake his hand, and I was about to force myself to do so when her scent appeared in the air.

I shifted my gaze away from Bella and Edward and lost all train of thought at who stood at the top of the stairs. I never had seen a more beautiful sight.

There stood Ness, looking just as terrified as I was. I cleared my throat one more time and tried to talk again.

"Hey, Ness," I forced out of my vocal chords, sounding like a lifelong smoker. "Can we talk?"

I waited what seemed like ages for her to say something back to me. She kept looking back and forth between her parents and me. She ran her hand mindlessly across the banister. Then she finally spoke.

"Okay."

~o~O~o~


	11. Desire

 

~o~O~o~

"The fever when I'm beside her.

Desire. Desire."

_Desire_ by U2

~o~O~o~

"You did what?" I slammed my bedroom door and ran down the stairs. I had no idea where I was going but getting away from my mother sounded really good. I should have known that getting away from her was easier said than done-she met me in the kitchen before I could even get there.

"You need to talk to him."

"But I don't want to talk to him."

"He loves you," she snapped back.

"But I don't love him," I retorted without thinking, trying to convince myself of my words.

"You know he deserves to be heard. At least give him that."

"Mom, are you serious? Gah... It's the imprint that's making him think he loves me. Don't you see that?"

I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl Mom had filled when we arrived here in Forks. Even though she no longer ate human food, she still enjoyed grocery shopping and making sure I had enough snacks around for when I needed them.

"Just talk to him."

I bit into the apple, listening to the sound of it crunching in my mouth as I thought about what my mom wanted me to do. I spun around and looked at her, eye to eye.

"I thought you were angry with him."

"I was."

"Then what changed your mind?" I asked. My mom didn't answer, hesitating at what she would say to me. She heard him approach before I did and turned her attention away from me.

"I think I had something to do with that." My father's voice echoed off the walls. His sudden presence unnerved me. I wanted to talk to my mother once without him feeling the need to intrude.

I exhaled loudly and said nothing, taking another bite. I remembered the things my father told me in my room about Jacob. I knew that my father wouldn't lie, but it was hard to digest that Jacob wanted me. He even proclaimed to love me. I'd never had anyone really love me before. I didn't know how to take it. I mean, I'd only known this guy for a day, and he loved me? Something kept me from believing that love could happen to me.

I began to feel like a broken record, thinking the same thoughts over and over again. I just needed this uneasiness to stop. I wanted to be sure of something for once and not have to think about it. Jacob was making my life miserable, or so I kept telling myself he did. I tried to suppress the excitement I felt every time his name ran through my head or crossed over my lips.

I wanted to believe Jacob. I really did. Prior to him, my only boyfriend had turned out to be someone I couldn't trust. I figured it had something to do with me and how I didn't quite fit into the human world. John never knew the truth about me and my family, or he would have run away long ago. Jacob knew about me. He was well aware of what I was and what kind of family I had.

And he still wanted me. Did I dare give him a chance? I swallowed another bite, and the questions that wouldn't go away came rushing back again.

"Why are you on his side now? You and Mom both wanted to tear him to shreds not too long ago," I asked, still confused at their sudden change of heart.

"I'm not on his side, Renesmee. I've heard his thoughts and know he's not lying. He didn't use you," he spoke sincerely, barely breaking a whisper. "Now, I would have liked it if the two of you hadn't been so _forward_ with your feelings, but what's done is done."

"I've known Jacob for a long time. He's a good guy. He made a very stupid mistake that he'll have to live with for the rest of his life, but you shouldn't punish him for it forever. He's not a jerk. He's cocky, but not a jerk." My mom seemed to laugh a bit at what she said.

"I beg to differ." My father's jest was met with a swift elbow to the gut from my mom.

"Edward, we're trying to get her to talk to him; you're not helping by saying he's a jerk." My mother gave him a look that could only mean trouble.

"Luckily, I don't bruise, Bella," he spoke in a low voice, rubbing his hand over his gut. "Well, try being the vampire boyfriend of the girl that he used to love-" He was met with another jab to the gut. I knew my mom didn't feel the need to bring up the fact that Jacob used to love her. For some reason, she wanted me to reconcile with her old friend.

"Not helping again, sweetheart," she laughed, and so did he. They couldn't be mean to each other if they tried. Sometimes their constant banter and lovey-doveyness made me sick. I rolled my eyes.

Jacob and my mom's past was a subject I didn't want to deal with at the moment. After noticing my disdain for their playfulness in the middle of my own personal crisis, my mother cleared her throat and tired to become serious again.

"Just give him a chance to talk. That's all we're asking... Okay?" I felt her hand grab mine. It was hard to say no to her. I nodded my head yes, and watching her smile made my decision to talk to Jacob seem right.

I just hoped that feeling would last.

When I heard the engine rumble down our drive, I still felt that talking to Jacob was the right thing to do. I actually got a little nervous realizing what I was about to do. I peeked out my window and saw him inside the cab of his big, black truck. Not many guys back in New Hampshire drove trucks, and I kind of liked that Jacob had one. It looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks or even months. The door opened, and I let out a little sigh when he did, watching the man that emerged.

He looked so different from when I'd seen him earlier. He had obviously cleaned up a bit, and his hair that stood on end had a boyish charm to it. I found myself smiling, knowing he was here to see me. What I couldn't wrap my mind around was the fact that we would have to be in the same room with each other to talk. The two of us weren't really talkers when we were near. I had to try and be strong to tell him what I wanted.

I just wished I knew what that was.

I could tell he was in the house-I could smell him immediately. My body began to tingle, and the need to run to him became overpowering. I took a deep breath and talked to myself. _That's the imprint you feel. Slow down and try to get yourself under control._ Then another one of my stupid sighs came out of my mouth before I could control it. I was sure everyone had heard it, even him.

I covered my mouth to keep myself from making anymore embarrassing noises, took a few deep breaths, and made my way out of my bedroom confidently.

Then I ducked into the bathroom to puke.

As I gargled with mouth wash, trying to rid my mouth of the God-awful vomit taste, I heard their voices. I finally willed my knees to quit shaking and forced myself out of the bathroom. Before I made my way to the top of the stairs, I trembled again, unable to control my fear. Knowing I was about to see him made me scared of the unknown. What would he say or do? I hadn't a clue, but I wanted to find out.

His gray shirt clung to the muscles underneath, and he haphazardly had tucked in a portion of it. I tried not to stare at the way he looked in his low-slung jeans and figured he must have been in a hurry to get here. He looked disheveled but amazing, and his hair begged for me to run my fingers through it. The thoughts of his locks on the tips of my fingers left as soon as I saw my father glaring at Jacob. Even though he was the one to let me know of how Jacob truly felt, it didn't make him immune from being my overprotective father. He just couldn't help it. He wouldn't let Jacob know he had anything to do with convincing me to talk to my wolf who'd imprinted on me.

_My wolf_. I let those words rattle around in my head. I soon realized that I wasn't the only one who was a little different in my genetic make up. Jacob wasn't exactly all-human either. I rubbed the wood on the banister, lost in thought about how our uniqueness made us very much the same. Then his brown eyes met mine, and our unexplainable connection happened.

"Hey, Ness. Can we talk?" he asked, looking at me; his eyes opened wide with what looked like fear. Was he scared to talk to me, too?

I heard myself respond okay, but I wasn't sure what to do next. I ran my fingers through my hair, hoping it looked all right and wishing I'd taken a little more time to make sure I was put together. At least my choice of a t-shirt and jeans matched his attire. I prayed that I didn't smell like vomit.

"Edward, why don't we leave these two alone for a little while?" My mom glided over to her husband, taking him by his arm, but he didn't budge.

He spoke through his gritted teeth. "I think she can be here with us when they talk."

I let out a breath of frustration. His mood changes were making me crazy. I wished my father would pick whose side he was on and stick with it.

My mom furrowed her brow and took his chin in her hands, lining his eyes up with hers. "We don't have any business being involved in their conversation. Let's take a walk. It's a beautiful night for us to be alone." Her voice sang and was laced with a hint of seduction. She was working my father, and he was putty in her hands.

By the time I made my way down the stairs, my father had agreed to leave but not before getting the last word in.

"No funny business, Jacob. Got it? You're just talking. This is my house. Respect that." I was mortified at my father's brash words. I couldn't believe he would say such things right in front of me, but before I could complain in protest, Jacob spoke.

"Yes, sir. Just talking. Got it loud and clear."

_Sir_? He just called my dad sir. I stood in disbelief while my parents walked out the front door. The uncomfortable silence filled the room once we were alone. I played with the bottom of my green shirt as I tried to figure out what to do.

"Oh, um, would you like to sit down? Can I get you something to drink?" I began rambling, turning into the polite hostess that was ingrained in me growing up. We were always to make our guests welcome. I thought I was just going through the motions just to have something to say because I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

"Yeah, I'll sit down, but I'm not thirsty," he said softly. He followed me into the sitting area, and I could feel his eyes on me. I crossed my arms over my chest, and I watched as he sat on the couch. I sat on the chair opposite from him, and I could see the disappointment in his face. Did he want me next to him? Being that close to him would be too risky. I had to have my wits about me.

"So," I breathed, clasping my hands together.

"So," he repeated back. He moved to the edge of the couch as if trying to get closer to me somehow. Fortunately, there was a coffee table between us. At least there was some barrier. A flimsy, wooden table that didn't stand a chance with a vampire and a shape-shifter in the room. Yeah, that was some barrier.

It wasn't hard to see that the two of us were clueless as to what say or how to begin. I sure as hell wasn't going to say the first word. I still felt that he needed to do a little begging, and I wanted to see if he did, in fact, love me enough to do so.

"Ness, I, uh, don't know where to start." His hands ran back and forth across the denim on his legs, which was quite distracting. I focused on the veins in his forearms that bulged out from his skin. I couldn't help but think it looked so manly. His hands were beautiful, and I had to push away the thoughts of them on my skin. Those big hands knew just how to touch me, rough on the outside but gentle underneath. The stupid sigh I let out came too fast to control. I didn't want him to see me act like a teenage girl, all giddy in front of a boy. A really hot boy. I felt my cheeks flush.

"Edward can't hear our thoughts, can he? Is your mom doing her shield on us? Please say she is." Jacob's eyes looked scared at the thought of our conversation not being private.

"I don't know, but knowing my mom, she'll make sure that he can't see in your head, if that's what you're worried about." I hoped I sounded reassuring.

"I don't want anyone but you seeing what I feel. I don't want to worry about anyone else spying on us. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense." I wanted our private talk to be between the two of us, as well. A pregnant pause filled the room again, making us both a bit uncomfortable.

"How's your dad?" I quickly asked.

"Um, he's fine."

"He's probably mad at me for ruining his surprise party, isn't he?" I had heard through the hushed phone calls my parents took earlier in the day that the party had been a complete failure because of mine and Jacob's antics.

"No. He's never mad. That's just my dad... He's always laid back. When I told him the reasons why I acted the way I did, he almost jumped for joy." Jacob's hands clasped together. I imagined them wrapped around my own slender fingers.

"Why would he jump for joy, Jacob? We messed up his big day."

"Don't you see? I finally have an imprint. The ways of the tribe didn't pass me by like I thought they did. My father knows the importance of what's going on between you and me. He'd never hold that against us."

"Does he know about what you did to me at the hotel? What would he say to that?" I didn't need to bring it up again, but I couldn't help myself. My vindictive side needed to add a little salt to the wound.

"God, Ness... I'm just so sorry. If I could take it back, I would. My father wouldn't approve of what I did. I'm so ashamed of how I acted. It took every bit of strength I had for me to walk out that door. Every part of me was telling me to stay because you had become my everything. But the stubborn side of me won out. Old habits die hard, I guess. I'll do anything for you to accept my apology. Anything." He looked sincere; my father said he wouldn't lie. I wanted to take his apology as truth.

"I believe you, Jacob. I really do. I'm not one hundred percent okay with what happened at the hotel, but I know it's something you and I'll have to deal with. What I'm struggling with more is figuring out this imprint thing. I don't want you to love me just because of that."

"I totally understand your reluctance. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to imprint. I thought I'd actually gotten of the hook form it going this long without finding anyone. But once I saw you on that elevator, any reservations I had about imprinting went away. I finally understood what my pack brothers have had all these years. It's way more than just a feeling, Ness."

"Then what is it? Tell me." I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

I looked away from him, but watched him from the corner of my eye as he moved around the coffee table. As he got closer to me, I felt my breathing grow quicker and my blood quickening through my body from my heart beating overtime. I turned to see him kneeling in front of me, meeting me almost at eye level. I cursed the table that was supposed keep him on the other side of the room, but forgot about breaking it to pieces when Jacob began to speak.

"I don't love you just because of the imprint. If we'd met under normal circumstances, I'm pretty sure I would've fallen for you anyway. It's just the universe's way of putting us together. That's all. It's way better than any dating site or computer-generated match-making service. It just let's us know that you and I are perfect for each other. Just give me a chance to prove that to you."

He took my hands and clasped them between his, just like I had wanted him to do earlier. I gravitated my body towards his without even thinking.

"How are you going to prove it to me?" I asked, leaning my head to the side. His lips didn't touch my skin, but his hot breath did. He slowly moved his mouth up the curve of my neck, causing little goose bumps to form. I had to grasp his hands fervently to keep my balance because my head was spinning.

"I'll make it up to you in anyway I can for as long as it takes. Please, anything you want. I'll do it." His mouth began a descent back down again and ended at my shoulder. How one person could cause me to lose my mind without even really putting his lips on me had to be a little something special.

I cleared my throat and softly moved my shoulder away from him. I tried to remove my hands from his, but his grip tightened.

"I guess we can start over," I squeaked out, still reeling from being so close.

"How's that?" He began doing that breathing thing again across my skin. I couldn't help but let him. The butterflies in my gut began, and I started to feel overheated.

"First, you have to stop doing this."

"Doing what?" he asked innocently.

"Breathing."

"You want me to quit breathing?" he questioned, looking at me like I was crazy.

"No... You have to stop making me lose my train of thought. Every time you get close, I feel funny, like I've taken a drug. You have to stop, so I can let you know what I want."

Jacob slowly backed away and made his way to his seat on the couch. I couldn't help but notice the satisfied look he had smeared across his face. He knew he had gotten to me, and I couldn't do anything to make him think other wise.

"Okay. Now that I'm not _breathing_ , what do you want?"

"To begin again."

"How do we do that?"

I stood up and walked towards him but didn't go past the table. I held out my hand. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I pushed my hand toward him one more time, and he finally took it.

"Hi, my name is Renesmee," I began. Hopefully he was getting the picture.

Then a look of understanding crossed his face, and he stood up as he tightened the grip on my hand.

"I'm Jacob. Nice to meet you." He smiled that smile, and I felt a piece of my heart get put back in place. That smile could cure cancer, stop wars, and make every woman in the world sing _Kumbaya_. And that smile was all mine.

"Nice to meet you, too," I said coyly.

"How am I doing?" he whispered, hoping he was playing his part well.

"Eh, you could do a little better," I whispered back. The smile faded a bit, making me want to take back my words.

"Help me out a little, Ness. I'm clueless."

"Maybe you should ask me out or something," I suggested.

"Like on a date?"

"Yes, like on a date. Haven't you ever done this before?" I started to giggle like a school girl.

"I have."

"Then why don't you act like you know what you're doing?"

"Because this is the first time it's ever mattered to me."

I froze, taking in what he'd just said. Jacob then pulled me around the table gently and moved my body into him, wrapping us together in an intimate embrace. The back of my head gently rested in his hand. My waist had his other arm around it.

"You really mean that, don't you?" I could feel how much he wanted me, and I finally believed him.

"I do mean it. No one else has ever mattered until now. Nothing is as important to me as you are. Ness, I'd love to take you out. Nothing would make me happier."

Before I could say anything, his lips pressed to my shoulder, and I could feel the warmth through the material of my shirt. His arms moved me closer to him where I could feel his warmth. I could feel my body's response to his touch.

"But we have to set some ground rules first," I added, pushing him away. "We need to get to know each other, and we can't do that if we're constantly, um, you know..." I had no idea how to finish my sentence.

"If we're constantly ending up horizontal with one another?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean. We obviously click... physically, but do we really get along otherwise? I just need to know that."

"I already know we click. I don't need a date to figure that out."

"If you and I," I pointed to the both of us, animating my point, "are going to work, then I have to see it for myself. That's why we have to swear to not touch each other."

"You're kidding, right?" He gave me whatcha-ya-talkin-about-Willis look.

"No, I'm not. I'm dead serious. If we don't set a boundary, I know that all we'll want to do is be... together, if you know what I mean." He knew it was true; there was no denying it. The two of us in close proximity would more than likely have us ending up in the bedroom for the rest of the night-and the next day and the next. There would be no getting to know one another, no small talk. It'd just be sex, which wouldn't be half bad except that I wanted more out of this relationship. I hoped Jacob did, too.

If he wanted to be with me, he'd have to keep his hands to himself.

"Do you agree to this deal?" I asked, raising one of my eyebrows.

"I don't think I have a choice, do I?" His voice sounded deflated.

"Do this for me, please. Can you do that?" I shamefully stuck out my bottom lip a little. I just needed to see if he would honor my wishes.

He didn't speak for a minute, and I became more nervous the longer he stayed silent. His bicep bulged through his sleeve when he moved his arm behind his head to rub his neck. _Maybe I could rub his neck a little? That'd be nice. Wait, Ness. No touching, remember? Yeah, got to remember that one._ I had to quit looking at him lustfully if this was going to work. I needed to quit imagining my fingers raking across his flexed muscle. Shit, I needed to focus on getting to know him and keep from thinking about jumping his perfect body.

"I can. It'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I've dealt with some tough shit, er, I mean, stuff. "

"Really? You'll do it?" I squealed a little too excitedly. I almost jumped into his arms but had to reel myself back into place to try and stick to the crazy rule I'd just enacted.

I watched as he put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the heels of his worn motorcycle boots.

"So," he spoke finally.

"So," I responded. Our conversation had gone right back to where it'd begun.

"Can I pick you up later?"

I nodded yes and watched as he reluctantly walked to the door-neither one of us knew what to say.

"See you at seven?" I asked quietly. He silently agreed.

I watched as he smiled that smile that made me want to recant my rule, but I knew sticking to it would be the best for us. As I watched his perfect ass walk back to his truck, I thought to myself, _I sure hope I know what I'm doing_.

~o~O~o~


	12. Hawkmoon 269

~o~O~o~

"Like a needle needs a vein

Like someone to blame

Like a thought unchained

Like a runaway train

I need your love.

I need your love."

_~Hawkmoon 269_ by U2

~o~O~o~

"Don't you even think about opening her door. You take care of my truck. I'll take care of her," I scowled at the scared young man whom I reluctantly gave the keys.

I saw the way the valet guy looked at Ness when we pulled up. He sure as hell wouldn't have the pleasure of opening the car door for her; that job was for me. Only I would get to watch her legs exit the vehicle in that dress. Speaking of that dress... _Damn!_ Did she have to wear something so short and revealing? I found myself trying to sneak a peek and wishing she'd bend over. I thought she could've worn a nun's habit, and I still would've been trying to catch any glimpse of her skin that I could.

I didn't know how many times on the ride from her house to the restaurant that I'd found my thoughts wandering, wanting to slide my hand up her leg... just a little. I promised myself that I wouldn't go too far, maybe just to her thigh. Then I'd remember the stupid rule she'd made up. The damn rule that was going to give me a serious case of blue balls. That fucking rule was going to make me and my hand become really good friends.

I didn't know how I was going to survive tonight. No touching? When it was all said and done, I was going to be that crazy man who roamed the streets, mumbling incoherently, all because of her request. My resolve was surely going to be tested over and over again tonight and for how ever long this rule would last.

As I opened the door, I caught a small smile from her, which made my inner struggle seem ludicrous. I realized one look from her, and I'd do anything to prove to her that I really loved her. I promised myself that I wouldn't touch her until she told me to do so, and I was a man of my word.

The black high heels made their way to the sidewalk, and I gawked at the long legs attached to them. The dress was short but not short enough in my book-a very inappropriate book. But then again, I didn't need her to get any more attention than she already did. I wanted to see so much more of her, and that was when I felt my dick decide that it liked what it saw getting out of the truck.

I realized then that I was so fucked.

How was I going to act like a normal guy, knowing I had to keep my hands off the most beautiful woman I'd ever known? I was a hands-on kind of guy anyway, and I sure as hell didn't know how I would make it through dinner without having to tie my hands behind my back. I figured I wouldn't sit close to her. If I was out of arm's reach, then maybe that would help. I'd keep our conversation focused on getting to know her and try and not think about how I wanted to fuck her on the table in front of everyone. I didn't give a damn who saw. That's how badly I desiredher. That's how badly I was screwed.

I was even considering driving to the middle of nowhere to test my luck, forgetting about this getting-to-know-you stage. Maybe I could fake running out of gas? She couldn't resist the imprint for too long, right? I'd make sure we were at least somewhere beautiful because girls liked that kind of thing. If I could pull that off, I wouldn't have to sit through a dinner with the way I was feeling. But, then again, this was no ordinary dinner.

We approached the old, wooden doors of the Italian restaurant I'd picked. I opened it for her, and I swore I saw her skin flush pink as she glanced my way. Fuck. I began to recognize that this crazy talk about me skipping our date was just a load of shit. Being with her was worth it, even if it was just a dinner for us to talk. I'd sit through a thousand of these just to be near her.

The old-world look of this place had a charm that I thought she would like-flickering gas lanterns; a worn, wooden floor; intimate table seating. She was a Cullen, after all, and was very used to the finer things in life. I needed to show her that I could give her those things, too. I was pretty comfortable here because it was my favorite Seattle restaurant. I came here often and tipped way more than necessary. Let's just say they treated me well here, and I figured that would go in my favor. It just so happened that it was one of the hardest places to get into.

"Bellissimo," I heard her saying the name of the restaurant. "I've heard of this place. It's supposed to be really good."

"It is. I think you'll like it." We approached the hostess stand together, and my hand burned because I wanted to hold hers. I wanted to walk in this place letting everyone know she was with me. Just a little contact was all I'd need. Having her by me was not going to be enough. Those little touches meant so much during times of getting to know someone-brushing away a loose piece of hair from her face, lightly skimming her forearm with my fingers as I listened to her talk, whispering something in her ear and following it with a chaste kiss on her neck. I could touch her, and she'd know that it didn't mean anything sexual, right? A small connection was all I wanted.

"I'm sorry, but we're booked for the next three months. I could put you down for sometime in December, ma'am." I listened to the young hostess with the tight ponytail talking to a young couple, obviously disappointed at not getting a table. They looked a little embarrassed and quickly exited. I couldn't feel sorry for them. This place was the best in Seattle, so people couldn't expect to walk in and get a table. That is, unless they were me.

"Mr. Black, it's a pleasure to have you join us tonight. Is this your guest?" the hostess asked, giving Ness a good look up and down. Ness moved closer to me. I didn't remember the girl's name; she was fairly new to the staff. I knew most of the people who worked here, and the owner was a close, personal friend. I thought I even saw her raise her hand as if she wanted to grab mine, but she quickly rested it at her side.

"Yes. She's my date. I called not too long ago. I hope you have a table for us tonight," I asked, putting on the charm.

The young girl giggled a bit. "Oh, Mr. Black, we always have a table for you. Mr. Moretti would never turn you away."

"Thank you..." I trailed off, giving her my best smile and hoping she'd offer me her name.

"Michelle," she tendered eagerly. I watched her smile back as she barely touched me on my arm. "Let me go get your table ready," she giggled again.

"Thank you, Michelle." I watched as she walked away and then looked to Ness, seeing if she was enjoying herself. I really hoped she would be excited by how easily I'd gotten us into Bellisimo. I knew it was stupid to want her to be impressed with me, but I wanted her to want me in the worst way. I might as well have been spreading my feathers out and strutting around, trying to show off for her. I felt like an idiot, but I really didn't care.

"Wow, you're working the charm, aren't you? Maybe you should ask her to dinner."

It wasn't really the reaction from her that I was going for. "I don't want to ask the hostess to dinner. I want to be here with you," I tried to explain without sounding frustrated.

"I think she seems to enjoy your company a bit much, _Mr. Black_." Ness' hands folded across her chest, and I could tell my little conversation with Michelle hadn't gone over well. I was about to apologize, but she cut me off instead.

"Um, my throat's burn-" She stopped herself. "I need to get a quick glass of water while we wait. I'll be right back." I watched as she dashed over to the bar, taking every eye across the room with her. She could captivate a room just by being in it. I relaxed a bit, knowing that she was with me, even though my attempts to make an impression hadn't gone as planned. At least I still was the lucky son-of-a-bitch who got to try and win her heart.

I tried to keep cool and didn't follow her through the bar, even though I wanted to do so. I knew our table would be ready soon, so I acted like her being away from me didn't matter. I pretended to read a menu until I noticed the bartender talking to her, leaning his body a little too closely her way. He had that look in his eyes, and Ness had to know he was coming on to her. She entranced me as she shyly sipped her water through the straw, listening to whatever bullshit he was dishing.

Those lips distracted me for a moment, and I watched them pucker around the straw. The things I imagined she could do with those lips kind of made me forget my growing hatred for the dude in the monkey suit polishing the glasses with his towel while he gawked at her tits.

I wanted to shove the towel down his throat for even thinking that he could try to flirt with her. I knew I was being irrational, but I still didn't know how she felt about me, and I couldn't le her be distracted by some stupid bartender. I watched them have a small conversation and tried listening to it, but the buzz in the place was too loud. There were too many conversations going on at once that I couldn't hear what the prick was saying to _my_ woman.

Before I knew it, I was storming through the bar, heading directly to Ness. I wanted this guy to know that she was taken and he shouldn't bother. A quick fist to the jaw sounded like a great idea to me at the moment.

I sauntered up to her, trying to keep my anger (or was it jealousy?) under control, and I brazenly put my arm around her.

"I think our table is ready, sweetheart." I laid on the charm, trying to make sure he knew I was with her.

She looked at me funny and slowly lowered her shoulder, so my arm could slide off. She put her glass gently on the bar and started walking back to the hostess stand. I followed closely.

"What was that?" she fired, keeping her voice at a whisper.

"What was what?" I played dumb. I could usually do that pretty well.

"Calling me sweetheart? Putting your arm around me?" She stopped, and I made sure I stood close but not too close to her. I didn't answer her.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a little jealous, Jacob Black."

I realized she was right, but I couldn't admit to it. "I just wanted to let that bartender know you were with me. No jealousy was involved."

"We were just having a conversation. That's all. He was mostly doing the talking; I just drank my water," she explained.

"I know, but I saw how he looked at you. Guys like that only want one thing, Ness." I was I guy; I knew these things.

"One thing? You mean sex?" she questioned.

"Yeah, and once he got what he wanted, he'd be gone."

"Ah, I'm glad I have you here to rescue me from such men. I know nothing about being left after sex."

Her comment sent a knife to my heart, and damn, it hurt. Before I could explain myself, we were interrupted by Michelle, who kept smiling at the two of us, unaware that my date was already mad at me.

"Your table is right this way, Mr. Black," Michelle said, motioning us to a table in the back corner.

Ness didn't look at me and made her way to our table. I followed, hoping I could keep from sticking my foot in my mouth anymore.

Michelle filled us in on all the specials as Ness and I took our seats opposite of each other. I made a point to sit as far away as I could, since I'd already started this date off on the wrong foot. If I could show her that I was going to act normal and that I could have a grown-up conversation, then maybe she would put down her guard a bit.

I ordered us a bottle of wine and quickly took a sip of water. I was nervous, and I'd never been that way before on a date. I'd always been the one pursued, the one desired, so getting laid was never a problem. It wasn't like I was with a ton of women. I'd been in a few relationships that lasted a while, but they always knew that the relationships weren't going anywhere. I'd wine and dine my girlfriends, take them on expensive trips and such, but they pretty much knew I wasn't the marrying type. Life of the eternal bachelor seemed to fit me just fine.

Then I imprinted, and life as I knew it flipped upside down.

The bottle of wine arrived, and as the server opened it and poured our drinks, I began my groveling.

"I'm sorry. Can we start a conversation where I don't screw up and you don't get mad at me?" I watched her swirl her wine around the glass as she seemed mull over my question.

"Sure. I'd like that."

"Good," I breathed a sigh of relief. Her frustration with me seemed to disappear, so I figured I wouldn't miss my chance to make up for being an idiot earlier. "So, Ness, what do you do when you're not fending off the masses of men falling at your feet?" I hoped my attempt at humor would go over well.

She laughed. "I hardly get any attention at all. I haven't dated much."

"You just aren't paying attention, and dating has nothing to do with how men react to you. Hell, I even saw a few of the women in this place look at you just like a horny guy would," I spoke truthfully, watching her choke a bit on her sip of Merlot.

"Jacob. You're making stuff up. I'm just me. Really a nobody."

"I hardly think so. Tell me more about yourself." I suddenly wanted to know everything about her. I would sit on the edge of my seat to hear her talk about what she had eaten for breakfast.

She began talking about her life in college back in New Hampshire and the internship she was currently working on. I found out about all the places they'd lived around the world, attempting to keep a low profile while Bella and Edward tried to raise her like a normal child.

Homeschooled by the whole family for most of her life, she'd decided that getting a degree was something she wanted to pursue only recently. Despite her family's history of getting degree after degree and being perpetual high school graduates, Ness talked about not having the need to keep herself busy in that way until she wanted to do it for real.

Somehow our conversation went to me and my career path. I ended up telling her a little about life away from La Push and how I started out as a mechanic in the suburbs of San Francisco. My neighbor worked IT in a company I'd never heard of, and we became close. On a whim and just for fun, we started working on creating one of those Facebook games. To make a long story short, the game we made became pretty successful, and we were soon bought by a huge software company. It was the best financial decsion I'd ever made. With the money I'd received, I started my own business in the gaming world, and my good luck struck again. My new company now was one of the major gaming entities in the world.

"So you just work from home now?"

"Pretty much. I have a cabin on the Rez where I have my office. I'll go a few times a year to San Francisco for business and check up on my house that's close to Napa Valley, but my heart and soul is here with my land and with my people." Did I sound like a douche or what?

"That's amazing. Napa is so beautiful. We've gone a few times."

"Really? I know you and your family don't necessarily go for the wine and food."

"Oh, we may not go for the wine, but we do travel there for the food on occasion. It's just a little different food than most are used to." She smirked just a bit.

"And what would that be?"

Ness paused for a moment. "It's great for hunting."

I'd almost forgotten about that side of her, and for the first time in my life, talking about how vampires fed didn't disgust me. I wanted to know more-more about her and the life she had led before me, and hopefully, I'd be a part of it from now on.

"Ah, I see. You hunt with them?" I asked, curious as to how this timid woman in front of me would hunt.

"I do," she responded, and she looked around, making sure no one could hear us. I guess she did this out of habit.

"What do you hunt?" Thinking about her out in the woods, tracking her prey was intriguing. Those images really sent my urges back into overdrive-the longing I'd had control of for all of twenty minutes during our conversation. I'd somehow kept my mind out of the gutter. Now my dirty thoughts were coming back.

"My father likes-"

I cut her off.

"I really don't want to talk about your dad... I want to know about _you_. What do _you_ like to hunt?" I didn't want a mental image of Edward hunting. I should've thought about something like that because thinking about her father would distract me from mental images of her in my head. But I knew I would have to torture myself more. I couldn't stop while I was ahead.

"I like the big cats-mountain lions, leopards, and the others," she whispered with a sideways smile.

Right then I pictured her running, scantily clad of course, tracking a leopard and leaping from branch to branch, closing in on the poor creature. The thought of her sucking its life force right from its body got to me. I was coiled tightly again, trying to not stare at her and the dress whose neckline gave only a glimpse of the tits underneath.

I tried to clear my head and asked the first stupid question that came to mind. "Why those animals and not elk or bears?"

Our server came with our food, interrupting our little discussion. We both fell silent, not needing to divulge to the innocent a world where vampires and werewolves existed. It was best not to frighten the unsuspecting humans or make them think we were crazy, needing to be committed.

Ness pulled her hair behind her and placed the napkin in her lap. Her pasta dish became her focus, but she began answering my question once the coast was clear.

"I, uh, think their blood tastes richer for some reason. It satisfies me more and eases the burning in my throat." Her mouth eased around her fork, her tongue wrapping around the noodles. My mind went blank.

"Are you okay?" she asked, licking a drop of sauce from the corner of her lip. "I thought you were hungry."

"Um... I am. I was just listening to you." I cut off a big chunk of my chicken Parmesan and shoved it in my mouth. "Your throat burns. Why is that?" I swallowed too fast, choking a bit. I took a big swig of my wine to keep myself from coughing too loudly. The more I listened and watched her eat, the more evident it was that I was so fucking turned on. I scooted my chair toward the table, hiding the growing problem in my pants with the linen table cloth.

"It's something I live with everyday, just letting me know when it's time to feed. It's worse when I get close to a scent that's... Um, more tempting than others. Being a vamp who doesn't eat the normal vampire diet, the burning never goes away."

"So it's always there?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Is is harder in certain times than others?" My attention was piqued. More tempting? Could that mean human blood?

"It's nothing. I've said too much," she said, taking another bite and dropping sauce on her dress... right on her cleavage.

"You can't say too much. Why is it harder?" Was I talking about her thirst or my dick?

"I guess it happens when I'm attracted to a human's blood... " Ness proceeded to take her napkin and non-chalantly wipe the sauce off of her chest. She did a thorough job, which kept me mesmorized while she did it. I had never been jealous of an inanimate object like tomato sauce until now. I leaned closer, drawn like a moth to a flame.

"Any human's blood?" I hung on her every movement, feeding my desire.

"No."

"Like whose?" I wanted her to want my blood in some sick and twisted way.

"Um, like yours," she breathed. _Fuck me_. My cock stood at attention once she finally answered my question. I watched her breasts rise and fall, and I finally focused on the needy look emanating from her eyes.

Suddenly, I had to have her, and I knew it was out of the question.

"Excuse me," I quickly uttered and rushed to the back of the restaurant, needing to get to the men's room. I had an issue I needed to resolve fast.

I didn't even see her reaction to my sudden exit. I'd have to make up an excuse later.

"Jacob, you need to tell me what the hell is going on here." I heard her behind me, trying to keep her voice down. I was so caught up in myself that I didn't notice her following me to the back hallway. It just went to show that my listening skills were slipping.

I paused in the darkened area, making sure I was away from any foot traffic. She wanted to talk, and I could sense that she was mad; she had every right to be. I'd acted like a jerk the entire evening, unable to control my compulsiveness or my temper. Ness frustrated me to no end, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I can't talk right now. I need a moment to myself," I blurted out, trying to mask my unbelievable need to pound into her right now. I couldn't face her. The obvious attraction was standing at attention in my dress pants. At least if I were wearing jeans, my boner would be a little less obvious, but not in these stupid pants. Why did I dress in a suit anyway? At least I'd decided against the tie.

"You've been acting strange all night, and I just can't figure you out. I don't know what to make of anything. You say you want to be with me, but here you are, running from me and needing time to yourself." I heard her take a few steps towards me. "If you want to be with me, why do you need to be alone?"

"You don't need to figure me out, Ness. It's just that I need time by myself to deal with an issue I'm having. Then I'll be all yours," I mumbled, stumbling on a few words. I needed privacy now, or I surely would break the rules she'd set for us, and I'd given her my word.

"You aren't making any sense," she called out, obviously not getting my hint. It was at this moment I realized she hadn't been around men much and hadn't dealt with how we were turned on by the simplest things. I was pretty sure she was oblivious to the effect she had on the opposite sex, and I knew her innocence wouldn't dare let her see that I needed to jack off in the bathroom right the fuck now.

"Ness, I'm not making any sense right now because _you're_ the one driving me insane." I wanted to take my words back, but I couldn't. My body was wound so tightly at the moment in a new way. I'd never felt like this before, even with all the other women I'd been with. I was mad, but it wasn't the feeling I'd get before phasing. My behavior had everything to do with the fact that I had no idea how to handle myself right now.

"I'm driving you insane? What did I do?" she questioned, throwing her arms in the air and taking another step to me. I turned around enough to see her, but not enough for her to see my dick through my pants. I could tell her skin was getting pinker as her anger grew. She was so fucking beautiful when she was angry.

"Yes, _you_. You have no idea." I stopped for a moment, thinking that I'd better shut up and not get into any more trouble with her than I already was, but of course, that didn't stop me from saying more. "Could you be a messier eater?" I blurted out. Watching her wipe the sauce from her breast earlier was about all I could handle.

"I don't know-"

I cut her off again.

"And whatever perfume you're wearing, it's too much." It wasn't a bad smell at all. It hung in the air, consuming me. It irritated me because I wanted to lick the skin that smelled so damn good.

"It's something Alice gave me. I like it." Her voice sounded sad, but that didn't stop my rant.

"And dammit, Ness, why the fuck did you pick that dress to wear tonight?" The short dress that revealed those long, muscular legs and made me dream of what lay underneath was the key to my undoing. The teasing she was clueless about had just gotten to me, and it was the reason I was breaking down right here in front of her.

I watched her lower lip tremble a little, and I knew I had screwed up yet again. I'd made her upset, something I'd tried not to do again. Yeah, me not screwing up didn't last that long.

"I wore this dress because I thought you'd like it. I tried to pick something nice. It's obvious you don't like it... I'm sorry." She held her composure after listening to my stupidity. She looked down at the floor, smoothing the material of the evil dress. I just couldn't let her believe that me not liking it was the reason for my tirade.

"Ness, it's not that I don't like the dress." I walked towards her, forcing her to back up to the wall as I made my way to her. A small gasp escaped from her surprise at my movements. "I fucking love that dress. It's the way you look in that it that has me all messed up. I've been imagining what's under it all night long."

I pinned her between the wall and me, placing my arms on the surface behind her. Her eyes stared intently at me. My lips moved closer to her, wanting to kiss her, but I somehow refrained. My nose barely touched her jaw, and I happily sucked in her scent with one large breath. I'd been dying to do this all night. I had gotten a hit, but I needed all of her to get my fix.

I began talking in her ear just above a whisper. "It's just that you've been teasing me all night in that dress. I can't touch you, and yet you wear something that makes me think of nothing else but putting my hands on you. You smell so damn good that I can't think of anything else other than being closer to get more of you." I inhaled again, which sent more blood to the lower portion of my body. I groaned in this beautiful pain I found myself in.

"Don't you see how you've tortured me tonight?" I was sure my face looked pained.

She kept staring at me, digesting my words. I was sure I'd gone too far and didn't know what her reaction would be. If she'd just drop this stupid rule, then I'd be okay, but Ness continued to say nothing. Her silence was killing me. The anticipation grew until her fiery eyes shot a glare at me that could burn a hole through steel.

" _I'm_ torturing _you_ with my choice in clothing?" she scoffed. "I'm so sorry, but it wasn't done intentionally, Jacob. I'm sure if I wanted to get you all hot and bothered on purpose, I could do a much better job." She looked away, and a mischievous smile flashed across her lips.

"Torture?" she spoke again. "You want me to really torture you? You underestimate my ability for such things. Let's just see how you feel in a few minutes, okay? I'm going to break my rule for just a few minutes."

Break the rule? Seriously? She must be coming to her senses, and I wouldn't have to ease this ache in pants by myself.

I watched as she placed her hands on either side of my face. I felt a small hum surround me, and soon, I couldn't see anything but darkness. Then the lights came on inside my head, and I was no longer in the restaurant. I soon realized that she broke the rule to use her damn vamp gift, but it didn't take long for me to forget about being upset.

I was alone in what looked to be a ballroom, sitting in a straight-backed chair. The floor-to-ceiling windows that surrounded the room were open and had sheer curtains rippling in the breeze. The light slanted a bit and centered on a spot on the floor, which captured my attention, but not as much as what I was about to see.

In an instant, Ness was there, wearing nothing but her heels, a tiny pair of black panties, and a matching strapless bra. It may have been a push-up bra, but Ness didn't need any help in that department. Her hands were on her hips, which jutted out to one side. She looked fierce and amazingly hot.

I felt my fingers grip the edge of the chair, reminding myself not to break it. Then I realized that this wasn't real and gripped it as hard as I could. I was going to have to hold on tight for whatever she had planned. Pissing her off had done something to her, and I had to admit, it turned me on even more. Ness stood almost naked in front of me, and it would take everything bit of strength I had to control myself. But in her vision, did I really have any control?

"You said I was torturing you earlier?" She shifted her hips to the other side. "How is the torture now, Mr. Black?" Her hair blew a little in the breeze and cascaded down her smooth shoulders. Paralyzed in my chair, I couldn't do anything but watch; she had me under her spell.

Her heels clicks along the marble floor toward me, and I watched her close the distance between us. The bobble of her breasts as she walked almost distracted me from the I'm-mad-as-hell-at-you look, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from her stare.

"You wanted to know what was under my dress." She cocked an eyebrow. "This..." Her hands roamed up and down her body. "...is what you wanted to see."

I gulped as I watched her hands round the curves of her breasts and finish with her fingers going through her hair. I felt a bead of sweat fall off my brow. I didn't even bother to wipe it off. I watched Ness' every move. _Where the hell did this come from?_ I wondered, and quickly realized that I didn't care.

"How are you feeling right now, Mr. Black? Am I torturing you again?"

_Fuck yeah, you're torturing me,_ I said to myself, but I nodded outwardly to her. She slowly and evilly bent down, allowing her ample cleavage to almost come out of the confines of her lacy, black bra.

"Next time you tell me that I'm making you hard, and you make me feel guilty for doing so, I'm not going to go easy on you." My fingers hurt at how tightly I had them digging into the chair. To say I was hard was an understatement. I was painfully aware of my cock and its situation at the moment. It was only made worse when she was so close to my body.

She kept me mesmerized by giving me her bad-girl smirk and excited me when her hands went and unclasped her bra but never allowed me a peek of anything that was revealed when the undergarment hit the floor. Ness had wrapped her arms around her body and turned from me, showing me her little panties were the best fucking thong I'd ever seen in my life.

"Are you satisfied now, Mr. Black, or do you need more?" she called out one last time.

And then she was gone, and we were back in the hallway exactly in the same spot. She put her hands to her sides, and I kept mine braced against the wall. Neither one of us spoke for a long time. Both of us were panting, our anger transforming into something else.

"I'm surprised you haven't tried anything yet, Jacob, seeing you need to take care of that problem of yours."

"I haven't tried anything yet because I made a promise to myself." I decided that I might just try bending the rule just a little bit. My body soon became almost flush with hers, causing her to look at me with surprise. My elbows bent slightly, allowing me to bring my mouth closer to hers. I still wasn't touching her, and I wouldn't do so until she asked me to.

"Um, uh, what promise was that?" she breathed, moving her lips a bit closer to mine.

"I promised myself that I wouldn't touch you until you told me I could." My dick twitched, needing immediate relief. Our lips were mere centimeters apart.

"You won't touch me at all then, will you?" A small squeak came out when she spoke.

"No. You have to give me permission."

"Oh," she breathed again.

"What do we do now, Ness? It's your call. We can go back out there and finish our dinner, or we can take whatever's going on right now somewhere a little more private." I cocked my head to the side, licking my lips and wanting hers.

"Jacob?" she whispered. I raised my eyes and looked to hers.

She took a couple of deep breaths as she thought about her answer, and I finally heard the words I'd been dying to hear all night.

"Please touch me."

Game fucking on.

~o~O~o~

Please let me know what you think...pretty please! I'm sure you're going to enjoy the next chapter immensely. (wink, wink)


	13. The First Time

And now for the final chapter...

~o~O~o~

"For the first time, I feel love."

~ _The First Time_ by U2

~o~O~o~

I saw red. Everything around me turned crimson as I listened to Jacob rant on how I was making him crazy. Did he really say those things to me? It hadn't even registered that I'd made it that difficult for him tonight. I was so angry with him that the only thing I could think about was making him see what it was like for me to really mess with his head. I really should've been ashamed of using my gift the way I did. I'd never done anything like it before.

But he deserved it-every bit of it.

He had another think coming if he thought that I was going to take his shit and then be blamed for his inability to keep his sexual urges at bay. But just one problem remained.

I wanted him, and I wanted him badly. No touching rule be damned.

The way his skin smelled and how he looked in his dark suit had already made my throat burn as soon as we got into his truck. The drive to the restaurant was pure torture. I wanted to straddle Jacob in the driver's seat, have my way with him, and have just a little taste of his blood on my tongue. The sexual attraction to him was only part of how I wanted him. I'd never wanted to taste anyone's blood like I wanted to taste his. The saliva pooled in my mouth just breathing in his heady scent. Luckily, I was harmless-no venom in my mouth to hurt him-which made me want him more. I could have just a little taste without any repercussions, right?

But here I was in the darkened hallway, pinned beneath the man I loved to hate, wanting to do so much more than go back to finish our dinner. I couldn't even think about eating when Jacob was here in front of me, teasing me just by being so close but so far away. He kept to the rule-he made sure of it. I was the one who had to cave first. I tried to be strong and not give in to him but not even being equipped with a little vampire strength could help me. I could take down a fierce grizzly bear in no time at all but couldn't defeat my sexual urges.

_Damn you, Jacob Black!_

I squeezed my thighs together as I took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm myself. My body yearned for his touch already, and I needed him more than I'd ever wanted anything. I realized then that there might be something to this imprinting thing.

"Jacob, please touch me," I whispered, barley above a whisper. The look I saw in his darkened eyes made a shiver travel up my spine and outward to my limbs. I couldn't shake the attraction we shared, no matter how hard I tried.

No words were spoken, but I could read what he wanted just by looking at him. Jacob finally pressed his body to mine and brought his hands to my shoulders. The warmth, the contact, the bond caused me to sigh. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to succumb to him and the imprint.

As his palms pressed on my bare shoulders and down my arms, I took in the feeling of his hands on me, letting out the slightest moan when his hands let go of mine and cupped my ass. He pressed into me, and I gripped his shoulders when he did. His dick pressed into me, and my body screamed to have it inside me. He took his strong arms and pulled me up his body, and I wrapped my legs around his middle. Both of us cried out at the sudden contact; we were finally perfectly aligned. Jacob's grip on my ass tightened, pressing me to him harder.

Placing my forehead to his, I held tightly to him, not wanting to move or have this moment end. His eyes found mine, and for a moment, all I could focus on was him. Feeling myself fall, I knew I was a goner. I was going head over feet at full speed with my feelings for Jacob. I saw my reflection in his eyes, and then suddenly, I saw forever-and it didn't scare me.

I scanned his face, looking at every perfect feature, and soon, focused on his lips. I wet mine in anticipation of his. It hadn't been that long ago that we'd kissed, but it felt like forever. He had me against the wall in a busy place, and I didn't care about anything else except for being with him. I wanted to start it all with a kiss.

His chest rose and fell quickly as he tightened his embrace, and I watched as his head tilted towards mine. I nudged his nose with mine playfully, completely engrossed in him. His eyes closed, but I kept mine open. I couldn't take them off him. I needed to see Jacob and make sure this was all real. Then his lips connected with mine, and I knew it wasn't made up in my head.

It began tenderly as he nipped softly at my lips, and I felt that tingle in my gut as if it were the first time we'd done this. He held back a little, trying to keep me wanting more, which definitely worked. He had my nerve endings firing like crazy, and my panties wet from how turned on I felt. Jacob pulled away and opened his eyes, not saying a word. His nostrils flared, and I could only guess he smelled how much wanted him.

I bit down on my bottom lip as I watched him drink me in with his eyes. Suddenly, the innocent kiss we shared before was forgotten. I was pressed into the wall more, being teased by his dick grinding into me. Those tender nips turned into needy kisses, and I gladly opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue moved around, finding mine like we'd been doing this for years. I moaned, feeling overwhelmed by just how a kiss made my body fly. I tried to match his movements but soon gave up. I just let him lead me, and I relaxed, letting him show me how this was done.

I could have kissed him forever, but our need for each other couldn't be denied.

"Ness," he breathed softly.

"Mmm-hmm," I managed to hum, almost singing.

"I want you so badly right now; I don't want to wait. I have an idea of where we can go." My head tilted when his lips spoke those words as they kissed my neck.

I felt my body being released when it slid back down to the floor. The absence of contact with him hurt, but luckily, I knew it wouldn't be that way for long. Jacob's hand caught one of mine, and our fingers intertwined. He led me down the hallway and through a set of double doors that opened into a small banquet room adorned with gilded mirrors all along the walls.

I walked in and placed my hands on the wooden harvest table in the center of the room. The wrought iron chandelier hung low in the middle of a table that could seat my whole family. I heard Jacob shut the doors behind us and then heard the click of the lock. I didn't face him but could see his reflection in the mirrors; his dark skin glowed in the low lights of the lanterns. He stood behind me, staring back at my reflection. My nails scratched the table as I tried to brace myself for what was to come.

Jacob walked to me, taking his arms and wrapping me with them. His hands roamed over the front of my body-first over my stomach, hips, and then back up to my breasts. He lingered there, cupping them and all the while pressing his body to mine.

"So damn beautiful. Just for me," he whispered, still playing with my chest.

"Yes, just for you," I breathed back to him. I was slowly but surely becoming aware that I was made for him. I leaned my head back on his shoulder as his hands then traveled down and under my dress. I had to wrap an arm around his neck to steady myself, feeling his warm fingers tickle across my thighs and then move to the lace of my panties. My legs opened slightly to give his fingers more access to me.

"So wet, just for me," he spoke again in his low voice. I whimpered as his fingers went under the fabric of my panties and began stroking me back and forth over my folds. I pulled his hair, holding on for dear life, when he slipped his middle finger inside me.

"Ahh," I breathed again, enjoying his fingers moving in me. He took his time, touching me in all the right ways. He was in no hurry.

"So tight for me, too." My legs opened more as the feeling of what he was doing intensified. "How come you didn't tell me you were a virgin?" he asked, whispering in my ear. His other hand caressed my breast gently as he worked on getting me off.

"I, uh, I..." Did he really have to ask such a question as his fingers were making me come undone?

"Um, I didn't want..." His other hand began rubbing my clit, and I felt another finger enter, stretching me while making me lose my mind. "...I didn't want you to leave," I finally managed to spit out in between moans. I'd figured he wouldn't want me if he knew the truth, so I never said anything, being too embarrassed.

"I wouldn't have left. I'd have been gentler," I barley heard him say because at that point his fingers curved, touching some magical spot inside me. "I would have made it all about you."

"Ung, Jacob!" I screamed. His pace on my clit increased, and I was on the verge of erupting. "You were good to me, ohhh!" My body began coming undone from the inside out.

"I could've been better," he said with his breath hot on my neck, and then the flood gates opened. A big scream came from my gut, signaling my release.

"Come for me, Ness!" he grunted. His cock ground into my ass, matching the fast pace of his fingers.

Through hazy eyes, I caught a glimpse of us in the mirrors, and I saw him watching me as well. I almost didn't recognize myself as I came. As my walls began to clench around his fingers, I kept watching the two of us and how beautiful we were together.

Our contrasting skin tones began to bead with sweat, and the movement of our bodies together looked almost like a sensual dance that only lovers knew the steps to. The way he held me looked like the images I'd often seen on the covers of romance novels. I finally felt like a grown woman, ready to be swept off my feet-just like in those books. But what convinced me of Jacob's feelings for me came from the way he looked at me, like I was the most beautiful woman in world, and for the first time in my life, I believed it.

We both rested together for a brief moment as I came down from my high, his free hand ghosting over my skin. Our breathing was the only noise in the room.

He withdrew his fingers from me slowly, and I couldn't even imagine how much better his cock would feel inside me. Jacob was, well, quite the man, and knew how to use what God had given him. Even after the ride it was just given, my body began revving up for more.

"Ness, I wonder if you taste as good as you smell."

I didn't really understand the comment until I watched him take the magic, wonder fingers and place them in his mouth, sucking on them and looking like he had just tasted the best dessert on the planet. His plump lips looked almost edible.

"Better," was his response to his taste test. I should have been embarrassed, but something inside me felt all powerful. "You taste so good, baby. I need you... now."

"I want you, too," was my response.

"Well, let's do something about that."

I tried to turn around, wanting to begin again, but he stopped me. Without speaking, I watched our reflection and felt him work the straps of my dress down my shoulders.

He expertly unzipped the side zipper and shimmied it down, stopping at my waist, and brought me to him, making my back flush with his body. Wrapping his arms around me, he took my breasts in his hands and squeezed them through my strapless bra, causing me to moan.

"You weren't kidding about what was under this dress, were you?" he laughed.

"No, Jacob. I don't play around. What you saw back there was all true."

"Even the panties?" he asked, a little surprised.

"Even the panties."

"Fuck me," was all he could muster in a low, sultry tone that I was beginning to coin as his "sex voice."

"God, as much as I love this bra, I'd like it better if it was off," he whispered, and I felt his body move just a bit from me. Within seconds, the garment fell to the floor. My breasts were in his hands, and my legs went all wobbly. Maybe it was the way he moved his hands around my nipples, knowing just how to get me get me going again with his small pinches and squeezes. Or maybe it was feeling him explore my body right after making me have one hell of an orgasm. Either way, I couldn't care less.

He began torturing me by kissing my neck and moving his hands down to my thighs. I tilted my head to give him plenty of room for his lips to explore. He put his mouth to my ear, and that was when he started to whisper his dirty thoughts to me.

"I can't fucking control myself around you anymore, Ness. I get one look at you, and my dick is hard. Whenever you're close to me, all I want to do is fuck you a thousand different ways-from behind, with you on top, in a sixty-nine, the old-fashioned, missionary way. As long as my dick is in your pussy or my mouth on you in any way, I'll be a happy man." He pressed me to his hard cock.

"I drive you that crazy then?" I had never had such control over any man in my life.

"So fucking crazy...but a good crazy."

"Well, maybe I can get us started on that list of yours." I started to pull the rest of my dress down my body, but he stopped me.

"No, that's my job." I closed my eyes as he finished what he'd begun earlier, and my dress finally dropped to the floor.

I turned to face him, sitting on the edge of the table and leaning back on my arms. I didn't feel self-conscious in front of this man, standing with my legs apart and wearing only a tiny pair of panties and platform heels.

"Damn, woman. You're fucking amazing."

"You want me, Jacob?"

He nodded like a kid who was about to get free reign in a candy store and took off his jacket in lightning speed. He pushed my legs apart and set me further on the table, standing between my thighs. I started to undress him, feeling my heart beat out of my chest. I hurriedly began unbuttoning his white dress shirt, wanting to run my hands over his fiery flesh and needing to feel his chiseled muscles beneath my fingers.

When I got to the cuffs, I was reminded of the pair of cuff links I still had of his.

"You know I stole something of yours," I confessed as I slid his shirt down his arms, only to be met by his white undershirt.

"And what was that?" he asked, helping me take the shirt over his head.

"Your cuff links with that weird design on them."

His fingers ran along the back of my knee as I watched them travel to my foot.

"Oh, so that's where they went. I was pretty sure they were gone for good," he whispered as he pulled my heel off and dropped it to the floor. "And that weird design is my tribal symbol."

I giggled when his touch on my skin began to tickle.

"I, um, kind of like having them. They're beautiful, by the way." I hissed when his hands lightly caressed my other leg.

"Nothing compares to how beautiful you are, Ness." His lips found mine as soon as my other shoe was taken off my foot. I could feel his passion with every deepened kiss. My hands found their way to his pants, needing to get him unclothed quickly.

I pulled away from the kisses, trying to focus on getting his pants off while I rubbed his calf with one of my bare feet.

"Why'd you take off my shoes? I thought guys liked to make love to a woman while she wears her fuck-me pumps." I pushed the material over his round ass, making them fall to his feet. He began to answer my question as he took off his shoes and then kicked off his pants.

"I, uh, I'm not, um..." My hand slid under his boxer briefs. "... I'm not like every man," he managed to say.

"Fuck," he exclaimed when my hand wrapped around his length, lightly stroking it.

"No, you're definitely not," I pointed out as my hand rubbed his huge cock. I'd never touched anyone like this before, and I took my time exploring him, memorizing how he felt and loving his reaction.

"I like you without those heels... _shit_. Your hand feels so good." I then cupped his balls through his cotton and prided myself on the growl that rumbled from deep within his chest.

Just playing with his dick quickly flipped a switch inside of Jacob. With a gentle forcefulness, he took my hands away from his body and removed the last of his clothing. His hands tugged at my hips, pulling them to his middle. I caught the look of desire in his eyes and knew exactly what he wanted, so I slowly lowered my body onto the table. My legs were open, ready for him.

After hearing the rip of my panties and seeing a few shards of lace flutter to the floor, he entered me slowly. The feeling of him in me didn't hurt. This time, I immediately became overwhelmed by how good he felt. He paused, making a face that had pain and pleasure wrapped into one. His hands gripped my hips harder, and I arched my back, hoping he would begin soon. My body felt only the beginnings of what Jacob was going to do to me, and I wanted him to make me climb higher and higher until I burst. I felt him push into me a little more, filling me to the hilt. I let out a cry and held on to the table, ready for Jacob to begin moving inside me. But the movement I craved didn't come.

"Did I hurt you, baby?" he asked, worried.

"No... You're just killing me being so... so... hesitant. You don't have to be gentle."

"I don't want to hurt you, Ness. I was an ass the last time and want this to be different."

"This time you don't have to worry. I'm practically indestructible." I swiveled my hips in the smallest circular motion, causing some friction between us. "So please fuck me," I demanded.

He exhaled his relief, gave a small smirk, and finally began moving in me. The gentleness was long forgotten.

The sound of skin on skin soon echoed throughout the room as we began moving with each other. All I could do was let him hold tightly to me, gripping me hard with his hands and pushing into me with even more force. It would have hurt any normal girl, and I was so glad that he wasn't holding back on me anymore. Each thrust went deeper inside me, touching a part of me that only he could reach.

I took my hands off the table, knowing it would splinter underneath my grasp if I kept them there. I wanted to touch him and feel his flesh at my fingertips, but he was out of reach. I was in no way moving from all of this, needing him to keep doing what he was doing to me. My insides were turning, doing flip flops on one another.

I started to touch my own skin with one hand and let my fingers drift along my stomach and up to one of my taut nipples.

"Keep doing that. That's sexy as hell," he grunted, picking up the pace. I let out small moans one right after the other, feeling his cock thrust even harder and deeper.

I let my other hand travel down to my clit, wanting to touch myself in the way he had done earlier. The first few short passes across my pussy immediately increased the sensation of making love to Jacob. I matched my pace with his, reveling in the sensation of his dick inside me doubled with my fingers on my clit.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked, and I knew he liked what he saw.

I couldn't speak. He knew just how to make me let go and enjoy the way his body could make me lose all control of my basic functions.

"Keep touching yourself. You're so beautiful," he moaned.

"Ung, Jacob... Ah!" I jerked my hips upwards, wanting more. The ripple of pleasure began to intensify, making me let out small moans one right after the other. Incoherent noises followed. "Say my name again," he commanded. "I want you to come and say my name."

I wanted to. I wanted to scream the name of the man who made me feel things I'd never known existed so everyone could hear it. It needed to be shouted from the mountaintops and rooftops, so I could pay homage to the man who could fuck me senseless. I wanted to show him off to the world, point out every part of him that should be bronzed and put on display.

"Ja- Jac..." Then my insides began clenching around him, squeezing him as he kept pounding me. I couldn't speak at all.

"Ness... Ung!" I then watched his abs contract. He threw his head back and started to push into me in small, quick thrusts.

I must have rendered him speechless, too. We were both getting there at the same time; my hand became paralyzed on my clit. My hips quit moving with his pace. I needed to come and bring him with me. I may have stilled myself on the outside, but the insides of my body were working overtime, making sure it felt every bit of Jacob.

"Jacob. Oh...I'm coming, Jacob!" I let him know it was him who did this to me.

Then a rumble erupted from him, and a large growl ripped from his chest. The erratic movements ceased, and I could feel his warmth spilling into me.

We were still only moments before I felt him pull me up to him, allowing me to be warmed by his whole body.

" _That_ can't happen with anyone else. Not like that. You can keep doubting and looking around for someone else, but you'll never find anything like what we just shared."

I just ran my hands lightly up and down his back, feeling his tight muscles. I finally let my arms fully embrace his body and allowed myself to understand his words. Somehow, it didn't sound strange to me any longer for him to have imprinted on me. Something that brought this man to me and made me feel so good couldn't be wrong; the universe wouldn't make a mistake in something like this.

It wasn't long before my emotions got the best of me. My eyes became blurry from the tears that had begun to form in my eyes. I pushed my body to him more.

"Are you okay?" he asked, rubbing his flat palm up and down my bare back. I'm sure he felt his chest getting wet from my quiet crying.

"I just have one question," I spoke quietly, pulling away from his body and looking directly at him. "What if you hate me once you get to know me?"

"I could never hate you."

"But we failed so miserably at trying to get to know each other. We couldn't even make it through dinner. How can we work if all we do is have sex?" I knew he was made for me. I knew I wanted him. What I didn't know was how we would last. My mother and father took months before they even kissed. I'd always been told that relationships begin with friendship. Jacob and I started with a fuck.

My heart had already made its decision, but my head kept its internal struggle going.

"Can I tell you something, Ness?" he asked as his fingers ran through my hair.

I nodded a yes and tried to control my tears.

He kissed the top of my head and began speaking to me in the most loving manner. "I love how your dimple shows when you give that crooked smile of yours. And when you get angry with me, your skin turns so pink that it turns me on. Just one look from you makes me want to look at you forever, and I can't even begin to describe the way your voice has control over me. Just one word from you, and I'm a goner."

My breathing hitched a bit as I tried to quit sobbing. Jacob had no idea that he could reduce me to a blubbering mess. I couldn't talk, and I was happy that I couldn't because he evidently wasn't finished.

"I've had other women before..."

The grimaced look I gave him made him stop for a second; I didn't want to hear about them.

"Let me finish, baby. What I meant to say was that I've had relationships before, and yes, there was sex. But in no way does it compare to what you and I have begun in the past few days. Don't you see?"

He tilted my chin up to his. "This was meant to be."

I didn't know what to say now.

"And I love the way you over-think things and how it brings out the little crease in your forehead." He bent down again and kissed my wrinkle that I knew was there.

"You mean all those things, don't you?" I asked, still over-thinking everything.

"I do... and always will."

I closed my eyes, letting the sound of his voice bounce around in my head, and for the first time, my mind didn't argue with my heart. I knew he meant everything he said and would never leave me alone again, but then I suddenly became aware that he was still inside me. I wiped my eyes and then made another realization, and my heart fluttered a bit.

"We forgot..." I raised my head up to his, and I'm sure he could see the panic in my eyes.

His eyes traveled down to our connection and back to me. "We forgot a condom, didn't we?" he spoke calmly. I didn't hear his heart rate increase one bit.

I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. "How come you're not freaking out?" I had no idea if I could have children. It had never been a topic of conversation with my family. I was sure my grandfather had been curious, but to respect my privacy, it was never discussed. Now, the thought of me actually doing something careless like forgetting a condom made me wish I'd asked more questions of my grandfather.

"I'm not freaking out because I'm not worried."

"What if... What if I can get... you know..." I trailed off.

"Pregnant?"

"Yes. I don't know if it can happen with me at all, but what if it can?" I could feel my body shaking, worrying about the what-ifs of what we'd just done. "But..." I began to trail off again, thinking about the other possibility.

"What if I can't ever get pregnant?" I'd never worried about such a thing before because I had never had anyone I wanted to share it with. Now that I was being held in his arms, I wanted everything that came with having someone love me-a house, a husband, and children.

I'd never known how much I wanted something until now, and even that might not be possible.

"Would you want me forever, if I can't... if I can't give you children?"

Jacob withdrew from my body and bent down to get his undershirt. I didn't like his silence and not answering me immediately, but I guessed I'd asked a pretty difficult question. I'd only met him three days ago, and I was already talking children with him? That was a great way to make a guy run away... again. I couldn't imagine him not wanting kids. He was the Alpha of his wolf pack. Kids were expected. Why would he want me if I couldn't bring more wolves into the next generation?

If we could have children, what would they be? Human, vampire, shape shifter... all three?

Jacob softly placed his undershirt on me, and I must have looked more confused than I already was.

"Um, you'll probably need this to clean up before you get dressed."

It was then I felt the warm liquid running down my thigh-a different kind of wetness between my legs. I couldn't quit thinking about me getting pregnant from this careless mistake, and then my mind switched to beccoming upset at the possibility of not even being able to carry a child.

I watched as he dressed quietly, and I followed suit. I didn't like the silence between us. He still hadn't answered my question, even if it was the mother of all questions, and the longer he didn't speak, the more upset I became.

"You're getting pinker by the second," he said, almost laughing as he buttoned up his shirt.

I struggled a bit with the zipper on my dress.

"Well, you're avoiding my question," I snapped back at him.

"I'm not avoiding it. Just thinking about what to say."

"You've never held back in talking to me before," I pointed out.

Once I finished getting my clothes on, he took my hand and lifted me from the table, taking great care with me.

"I know I usually say the first thing that comes to mind, but I need to make sure I say this the right way, okay?"

"Okay." Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach, waiting for his answer. Could my future happiness be affected by his answer? My breathing became shallow, and my nerves took over. I realized that I didn't want to know. I couldn't live with him not wanting me.

I wanted to be his imprint for as long as we lived, and I didn't want my stupid question to ruin any of that.

"Jacob." He pulled me to him as I began to speak. "Don't answer, please."

"Why not?" he questioned.

"Because I don't think I could handle the answer."

"You don't know my answer yet. I don't think you need to be worried anyhow." His voice sounded reassuring.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." My arms grabbed him tighter. "I don't want you to ever have to worry about how I feel for you ever again. Even if we get into the worst fight ever, and you make me sleep on the couch, I'll still want you. You'll never need to second guess that.

"I want you. If we can have kids, then that'll be icing on the cake. If we can't, then my life is still perfect. All I want is to be with you; that's all I care about."

My whole life I was loved and taken care of without a care for expense or inconvenience. Everything was done for me and for my safety and happiness, but a part of me was always missing. I never felt whole or fully belonged anywhere or with anyone. I'd came to terms with it long ago, knowing I'd spend eternity looking for that missing piece of me.

Standing in Jacob's arms, I was complete because I'd found him, my missing piece. I was made whole by his love for me.

"For the first time, I know what I want. All I want is you, too," I whispered to him as I lay my head on his chest. I traced invisible lines on his shirt with my finger, feeling completely happy. We'd worry about children and all the other craziness our relationship would bring in the future. His pack and my family would have to get used to this out-of-the-ordinary pairing, but we'd face it together. From this point forward, we'd be each other's unconditional support team.

He raised me up his body, bringing my lips to his, but we didn't kiss. All we managed to do was stare at each other and smile. I finally wasn't confused, and I'm sure he was happy about that. He'd no longer have to convince me about our love. It was real, imprint or no imprint.

 _Love_. I said that word over and over again, and I wasn't afraid anymore. I knew what I needed to do to make him believe how I felt. I wanted him to know now and forever that he truly was the only person I'd ever need.

"Jacob," I breathed, watching him smile.

"I love hearing you say my name."

I loved saying his name. "Jacob," I whispered again.

"Just like that." His nose ran along my jaw line, almost making me forget what I wanted to say.

"I want to tell you something."

His smile faded a bit, and he got a worried look on his face.

"You don't need to worry any longer about how I feel about you because I..." I'd never said these words to any man in this way. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to calm my emotions.

"I love you, Jacob. Always." I closed my eyes, feeling him reel me into his body more. My feet kept dangling below.

He didn't say anything, making me crazy again. What was with him and finally thinking before he said anything? I kind of liked the old, impulsive Jacob. At least I didn't have to guess at what he was thinking because I knew immediately.

"Well, say something! I just finally told you I loved you, and you go silent on me again. You can't do that," I almost screamed.

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay is all you can say?" I was about to jump out of his arms and hurl a chair at him, but I refrained because the next words he spoke changed everything.

"Marry me, Ness."

And I said okay.

_The end._

~o~O~o~ 

Thanks for reading! When I originally posted this story about eight years ago, it took me a year to write. I have enjoyed sharing it again. I have a two-part epilogue that I'm not sure about posting. We'll see :)


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the epi! It's really long because I decided to put two chapters into one. I enjoy your comments and your kudos! Thanks! I'm now writing Reylo (Kylo Ren and Rey) fanfiction, and I'm on Tumblr at 3todream3.

~o~O~o~ NPOV ~o~O~o~

I blinked, trying to focus my already perfect vision. I knew what the stick read; I just didn't believe it.

After six years of marriage and pretty much making love anywhere and everywhere, we had never gotten pregnant. We weren't really trying, but we both secretly thought it would happen sometime. We slowly stopped hoping after a couple of years. Then we eventually fell into an unspoken silence where we didn't talk about children at all. Jacob could tell that I was disappointed. To be honest, devastated was more like it.

I wanted a baby in the worst way. I yearned to hold Jacob's child in my arms, to get up in the middle of the night and be sleep deprived, and smell that all-consuming sweet baby smell. But after all these years of trying and still no baby, I figured it wasn't meant to be, and the guilt consumed me. I hid my silent sadness from not being able to give Jacob a baby-the one thing an Alpha should have.

I thought I'd never get to know what it felt like to hold a tiny baby... until now.

The stick showed two pink lines.

I had memorized the directions after reading them once, but I kept reading them over and over to make sure that what I saw was true.

Yep... we were finally pregnant.

~o~O~o~ JPOV ~o~O~o~

I raced home from my meeting in Seattle. She didn't sound upset, but she wasn't happy either. It was just... well, she just sounded strange. I left suddenly, and I'm sure my clients weren't too thrilled with my exit. Ness needed me, and that's all that mattered in that moment.

I sped home, watching the city disappear behind me and the forest of trees emerge all around. I was getting anxious the closer I got to our cabin. The odd sound of her voice wouldn't go away.

"Jacob, I need you to come home," she had said with a trembling tone. That was all it took for me to grab my jacket, loosen the tie that was choking me, and race out the door. I called Leah, who had become my second-hand man in the company, to reschedule everything and to pretty much do anything to make sure our clients were happy.

A family emergency was the only explanation I gave. If I lost this account, so be it. Ness was more important to me than any business deal. I'd do anything to keep her happy, and lately it seemed she wasn't. And I knew why.

The baby thing.

I quit talking about kids after I heard her sobbing in the bathroom when she thought I wasn't around. We had just had a conversation about Seth and Aylen having their second baby. I wouldn't have mentioned it or talked about it at all if I had known how much it would upset her. From that point forward, I didn't talk about kids or babies at all. It became my job to make sure she knew how much I loved her and that having kids didn't matter.

I was somewhat relieved, to be honest, but I would never tell her that. After a night drinking beer and listening to him talk, Charlie finally confided in me how Bella was changed-how Ness came into this world. He said he knew more about things than he really cared to. Ness was still part human, and her carrying a baby that could potentially rip her open from the inside scared the shit out of me.

She was still part vampire, and hurting her was difficult, but she was still part human like Bella had been. I couldn't let that happen to Ness. The possibility of her dying from trying to have one of my kids was all it took for me to be okay with not having them.

I became the master of surprise weekend trips and candlelit dinners. Taking her to Venice a few weeks ago seemed to take her mind off of things, and her smile returned as we lazily floated around the city in the gondolas. We ate our way across the rest of Italy, and had the best sex we'd ever had. I had to hand the short, Italian lady a stack of lira when we pretty much destroyed the quaint cottage she had rented to us. Something about getting away from home turned Ness into an insatiable vamp. Who was I to deny her? My dick only wanted her and no matter how many times I fucked her, I always wanted more. I wouldn't mind becoming a poor man who had to pay for the damages from our travels around the globe.

But once we returned home, the sadness seemed to re-emerge, even though she did her best to hide it from me. I wondered if I'd ever figure out how to get us back to the care-free couple we were when we were first married. As I turned down the road to our home, I worried at the Ness I would find.

I rushed through the front door to find her waiting for me. Her face was unreadable.

"You need to sit down," she said as she motioned to the couch.

She's leaving me. She can't bear to live with me anymore. These horrible thoughts kept running through my mind. I knew she'd never leave me, but I didn't know how deep her depression ran.

I couldn't take my eyes from her and watched her sit on the coffee table facing me. She took my hands in hers, and I momentarily reveled in the way her soft hands felt in mine. When I remembered that she was about to tell me something serious, I started to panic again.

I then realized I wasn't ready for what she was about to say.

The impossible had finally happened.

~o~O~o~ NPOV ~o~O~o~

"Oh, my God. Really?" was his response.

"Yes." I looked in his eyes to find any emotion and waited for his reaction.

After what seemed like forever, Jacob moved. He squinted his eyes and shut them tightly. The butterflies in my stomach started going crazy as I watched him rub his temples with his fingers. I heard his labored breathing, and I sat motionless, studying his face for the joy I expected to see. In my head, he'd be unable to control his happiness, and I'd find myself pinned to his body, feeling his hot breath on my skin. Then we would pause, savoring the moment that we both knew we were bringing a life into this world. Of course we would celebrate by making love.

But instead of seeing the smile that lit up my world, I saw a side of Jacob that didn't make sense. He did nothing. I kept staring at him, waiting for him to react.

After what seemed like eternity, he moved off the couch to his feet. He looked out the window into the distance, and I watched as he combed his fingers through his hair in what looked like frustration. His hands rested on the back of his head as he turned away from me.

"Oh, no." I heard him say under his breath. I watched in disbelief when he bent over, bracing his hands on his knees like he was trying to catch his breath.

 _Oh, no?_  Did I hear him correctly? It couldn't be true. Was he that horrified at the thought of us having a baby? We hadn't been able to get pregnant for six fucking years, and he acted this way?

Out of nowhere, my body began reacting uncontrollably to this emotional betrayal from my husband. A feeling of sickness overcame me, and I began to tremble. I just couldn't believe he would do this to me-to us. After all these years together, I thought he wanted this. How could I have been so wrong?

He finally stood up straight and turned to look at me, but I couldn't bear to look back. As if he realized my pain at his reaction, Jacob tried to make his way to me, but I couldn't stand to be near him. Feeling the tears sting my cheeks, I ran to the bathroom to get away from him. I didn't even bother wiping away the wetness streaming from my eyes. I was sure he saw them, but I didn't care. Nausea overcame me, and I wasn't sure if it had anything to do with me being pregnant or that I was so sickened by his reaction. I just knew I needed to get to the toilet and fast.

"Shit..." He stumbled on his words. "Ness! Don't go!" He rushed over to me, grabbing my arm. I shook off his grip-his feeble attempt to keep me from going.

"Get away; I can't look at you right now!" I screamed, not caring if I hurt him at all. I wanted him to feel the way I was feeling-hurt by the one I loved the most.

I slammed the door behind me and locked it, finding it humorous that a lock was going to keep him from coming in when he could easily take the door off the hinges in no time flat. The thought of him barging in went away as I realized the inevitable was about to happen. I hurried to the toilet to throw up, and it brought no relief to my hurting body.

Staring at the wall, I let cold tiles numb my legs. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I'd never once fantasized about Jacob taking the pregnancy news badly. It never even entered my mind that he would do such a thing. A wave of dizziness ran through my body, and I hugged the toilet, vomiting again.

"Ness, are you okay?" Jacob knocked lightly on the door. "Open the door, baby. Let me explain," he begged.

"No, go away. I don't want to talk to you right now," I said through my gritted teeth, wishing I could stay here all night. I would if I had to.

I made him sit on the other side of the door for a long time, and the silent treatment I gave him was probably making him crazy. He tapped on the door and kept begging me to let him in. I ignored him. For one, I was mad at him, and two, I couldn't keep from throwing up every few minutes. I just propped myself up at the edge of the toilet and gripped it tightly, getting ready for the next round of dry heaves to come.

After a lifetime of silence passed, he tried to talk to me again. "Ness, you don't understand. Please open the door," he pleaded with a low growl..

I didn't respond. How could I say anything to him? He obviously didn't want this baby. Oh, no were the words that came out of his mouth. There wasn't a smile, an embrace... or my fantasy of him making love me. We had no pillow talk of who the baby would look like or if it would be a girl or a boy. Jacob only showed how upset he was, and I knew I hadn't misread that.

I jumped when I heard a loud bang on the other side of the door, like a fist hitting the wall.

"Dammit," I heard him mutter under his breath. I was sure there was a dent on whatever surface got the brunt of his frustration.

"I am an idiot, baby. Open the door. I'm drowning out here. I screwed up in the worst way. Just let me in."

"You  _are_  an idiot," I yelled back at him, breaking my silence, and I found myself moving across the tile floor to the door. Even though I didn't want to, my body couldn't help it. I'd learned that I couldn't fight the pull. I leaned against the door, and knowing he was on the other side eased the sick feeling. I was so infuriated with him, but I couldn't stay away-the story of our love life.

"You have every reason to hate me right now for what I just did," he said through the door.

"I do kind of hate you right now."

"I can handle any insult you want to hurl at me. At least you're talking to me. I deserve it."

"You're an ass hole. How's that?" I hurled the first insult that came to mind. Jacob and I weren't strangers to fighting, but I'd never called him a name like that before. I wanted to wound him-to hurt him. I hated myself for saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I didn't apologize. I was so angry and confused that I didn't know what to feel.

He didn't respond for what seemed like forever.

"I won't argue with you on that one. Like I said, I deserve it," Jacob finally uttered.

"Yeah, you do deserve it." I wiped the tears from my face with my shirt and tried to breathe but failed. My nose was completely stopped up, and my eyes were swollen from crying. "How could you act that way, Jacob? Do you really hate the whole idea of us having a baby? I thought we both wanted this so much." I asked, ready to talk but scared at what the truth would reveal.

"Will you open the door? I'll explain everything if you just open the God da-" He stopped himself before he could finish his cursing. "Please just open the door, Ness."

I knew I shouldn't do it. Jacob had lost any chance to talk to me. Nothing he could say would make me be okay with why he didn't want this child, but I knew that I could never deny him. My hand weakly turned the lock, cracking the door a tiny bit.

"Just because I'm letting you in doesn't mean you're forgiven," I explained to him through the tiny crack.

"I know," he agreed. I couldn't help but notice how awful he looked. He would always be my handsome Jacob, but I'd never seen him this upset. I watched as he softly pushed the door open.

"Thank you," he whispered. I didn't move. The sobbing and throwing up had taken all my energy from me.

He sat on the floor facing me and began to take me in his arms. I tried to push him away, not ready to be comforted by his warm embrace, but he didn't give up. He never did relent when it came to the two of us. I continued to fight him, but my attempt was futile. The heat coming off his body felt so inviting to my freezing body. I didn't realize how cold I'd become sitting in my thin, cotton shorts and shirt. I hadn't been aware of my shivering.

"Stop fighting me, Ness. I'm going to hold you. You're so cold." He leaned against the wall and pulled my limp frame onto his lap.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to do that. If I could take it back I would," he whispered as he stroked my hair.

"Do you want to take back the baby news, too. Do you wish it weren't true?" I asked, fighting the sob I felt coming up my throat.

"God no. Please don't think that at all."

"Then what am I supposed to think?" I asked in anger, looking directly in his eyes.

Jacob then took his thumb and wiped a stray tear on my cheek. "Ness, you're the most important thing in this world to me, and I..." His voice trailed off.

"What? Please talk to me." I placed my hands on his cheeks.  _I need to know what you're feeling._

"I can't lose you."

 _You won't lose me. I'm always here_ , I reassured him, not understanding his reason.  _I'm always here, even when you're being an ass hole._

We both chuckled a bit, relieving the tension in the room.

"But I could lose you," he said again.

 _I don't see what this has to do with the baby. I'm not going anywhere,_  I kept trying to tell him.

"It has everything to do with the baby, dammit!" He spat. I recoiled, crossing my arms at his outburst. It seemed we were taking a few steps back from any progress we had made. "Shit, Ness. You know I'm not good with words. You know I always react first before I think."

I nodded my head in agreement.

"That's what happened tonight when you told me about the baby. I freaked out when I shouldn't have."

"Why would you do that?" I looked up to him, feeling him wrap his arms around me. I found myself relaxing, letting him hold me. "From what I saw, you were nothing but disappointed in the news."

"I acted that way because you could..." he trailed off.

"What? I could what?" I demanded.

"You could die... You could die having our baby, Ness. That's why I acted the way I did."

His words knocked me in the head like a ton of bricks, and I finally understood.

Jacob must know about how I came int this world. How could I have been so blind?

~o~O~o~ JPOV ~o~O~o~

"Who told you?" she asked. I was pretty sure she had figured out the reason for my craziness.

She wasn't stupid.

"Charlie. He told me a few years ago."

"Oh..." was all she was able to say.

I soon knew that I needed to be strong for her. After all, she was carrying my child, and there wasn't anything else we could do about it. We'd just have to talk it out and figure out what to do next.

"I never said anything because I thought we weren't able to have kids. I didn't want to make a big deal about it, you know." I stopped for a second, needing for her to understand. "What Charlie told me scared me, Ness. What if the same thing happens to you?" I found myself grabbing her tighter and burying my face in her neck.

Her sweet lips kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob. I'm so sorry," She kept repeating.

"No, it's me who should apologize," I told her. "You deserve better from me." I took her small hand and wrapped mine around it.

"Let's face it. We deserve each other. I'm made for you, remember?" Her free hand brushed my jaw line. "I just wish you would have told me."

"I know. I just had no idea how to approach you with it. I mean, how do I tell you that I'm afraid our baby will... will..." I couldn't even finish the thought.

"You don't have to say it, Jacob. I remember it well. I know what happened to my mom because I lived it. It's a subject that isn't easily talked about. I've had to live with knowing that it was me who took my mom's life." I looked down to see my shirt balled up in her fists.

"You don't still feel guilty about it, do you?" I questioned.

"I do at times, but Mom is always there to talk about it with me. She reassures me that she wouldn't change having me for anything... and I believe her. It took a while, though."

"That sounds like our Bella. I just wish I was as sure of things as she was when you came along," I confessed. I wasn't dealing well with this baby thing.

"But I do know one thing; we'll figure it out. My family figured it out twenty six years ago, and we can do it again. My grandfather will make sure of it." Her fingers ran through my hair, and I found her lips so close to mine. The tension I'd been feeling dissolved with her soft touch.

"I don't know what I ever did to make you love me." I confessed. How I was lucky enough to imprint on her was beyond me.

"I just love you, Jacob." Her lips spoke, touching mine when she did. It was then I couldn't resist anymore. Our mouths connected, and we kissed each other desperately like we hadn't see each other in years. She paused to take a deep breath, like she always had to when we kissed like this. After all this time, I still took her breath away.

My nose nudged the skin around her temple, and I felt a shiver go through her body. I spoke low and quietly in her ear. "No one can love this baby like us. I'm really happy. I just wish I could have said that first before I made you mad." I ran my hands up and down her back. "You're kind of used to my moods, aren't you?" I gave her my smirk, hoping she'd forget this ever happened.

Ness quickly smiled at me.

"Am I forgiven then?"

She began to kiss my chin, moving her way up my jaw and stopping at my ear. A small moan erupted from deep in my throat.

"Of course," she breathed, nipping at my ear lobe.

Before I got myself carried away by the way she made me feel, I had an impulse to do something. I effortlessly moved her, so she could straddle my legs, placing my hands on her hips.

"Can I do something before I carry you to our bedroom?"

"Anything," she answered.

I took the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head.

"I promise I'm not just doing this to get you naked, but that is a bonus." I couldn't keep from smiling.

I placed my right hand on her flat stomach and rubbed it gently in a circular motion. My child was in there, listening.

"Hey, there. I'm your dad."

We both took our time, living in this moment.

"We're having a baby, Jacob," Ness cried through her tears.

Without words, I picked up us both of the floor and carried her to our room.

~o~O~o~ NPOV ~o~O~o~

From the moment we found out we were pregnant, it had been a roller coaster ride of emotions. When Carlisle had to sit Jacob and me down to explain what would probably happen, Jacob was a basket case. I knew of the risks. I remembered what happened when my mother had me... How could I ever forget?

But more than anything, I was worried about my husband.

When Grandpa Carlisle mentioned that the baby would have to be extracted by someone's teeth opening up my womb, let's just say Jacob hit the roof. We both knew my skin was impenetrable, but hearing the reality of it was tough for both of us. We'd never been the "normal" couple, so why would we imagine that having a child would be any different?

Giving birth the old-fashioned way was out of the question for me. There would be no way my skin would dilate and efface the way a normal human's would. Grandpa explained to us how my birth canal wouldn't accommodate a little human being pushed through it. I couldn't even be sliced open with the sharpest scalpel known to man.

It pained me to make Jacob go through this. I often retreated back to my old thinking, feeling he deserved a human girl who could pop out babies every couple of years without any problems at all. But then all I had to do I was think about how he loved me more than I could fathom. He'd go through anything to make me happy, and more importantly, I knew he wanted to be a daddy so much it hurt.

When it was all said and done, we had a plan that covered every possible problem we could ever encounter, but there was one part that my husband didn't like.

Jacob was not to be in the room during the birth, per my request.

He protested profusely, argued non-stop, and pouted better than a five-year old child, but when he realized that it was what I ultimately wanted, he gave in. Yes, it was harsh, but I didn't need him worrying over me. What I needed to do was concentrate on bringing a life into the world with an unusual birthing situation (which in my family seemed pretty normal). I couldn't have my husband questioning my grandfather's years of medical wisdom in the middle of the big event. Knowing my Jacob, he wouldn't think twice about arguing with anyone over my well-being, and I couldn't be the one diffusing a fight. I'd end up throwing him out of the room anyway, so why not take preemptive measures?

I was totally fine with what was going to happen, especially after our months of planning. I had mentally prepared for everything I could fathom and anxiously awaited the moment our child would come into the world. The feeling of peace washed over me like rain as the good and bad of the birth didn't bother me anymore. I wanted this baby more than I valued my life. That's how resolute I was about giving birth, but there was one thing for which I didn't plan.

The pain was from hell.

I was doing practically nothing the day the baby decided to make an appearance, not like anyone would let me do anything anyway. I'd been watched like a hawk by my family, especially Jacob. I couldn't reach up for a glass out of the kitchen cabinet without him rushing over to help me. It got so bad I was worried that he would want to help me wipe after I went to the restroom-that was how overprotective he'd become. The worry wasn't lost on me-I totally understood it because I was the epitome of a high-risk pregnancy.

"Babe, what's wrong," he asked, running in the bedroom after hearing me scream bloody murder.

"I... ahhh... think..." It was hard to talk through the feeling of my insides ripping themselves apart. "...it's time."

The pain subsided for a quick minute or so, but it didn't take long for it to hit again. As soon as I doubled over in pain, Jacob set our plan in motion. I gripped the comforter of our bed and pretty much clawed the spot that I'd grabbed to pieces. I clenched my eyes shut, hoping I could ease the misery by centering myself and blocking out the external stimuli.

It didn't work.

"Carlisle. It's time." Jacob's phone call was over before it began. I hadn't even heard him dial the number.

Jacob scooped me up off the bed and made a beeline to the garage. He opened the door to our huge SUV and gently placed me in the passenger seat.

"Here, baby. That should help make you a little more comfortable," he whispered when he leaned my chair back little. "We'll be at your grandparent's house in no time."

I wanted to smile and say thank you, but the contractions were debilitating when they hit. I knew that my contorted face must have looked awful to Jacob, but he seemed to move into overdrive when I screamed again. I knew I looked as bad as I felt, and I was pretty sure I didn't want to do this anymore.

"I can't go through with this," I yelled through gritted teeth.

He calmly kissed my forehead, letting his hand linger on my cheek. "You're an amazing woman." His voice sounded reassuring and calming. "You can do this with your hands tied behind your back."

His words settled into my thoughts as the pain of the last contraction left, and I knew the power of our imprint-our connection-was real. No other person could calm me the way Jacob could, not even Jasper. No longer blinded by my torture, at least for now, I watched as Jacob leapt across the hood of the SUV and slid across it to get to the other side. I laughed a bit, loving the fact he could always make me laugh even in the face of pain.

"Nice. Are you pretending to be Bo or Luke Duke?" I joked when he got in his seat.

"I can't believe you're in the mood for making fun of me," Jacob said, navigating the bumpy, dirt road away from our home.

"I'll always have time for that," I said in sport. Then the vehicle hit a pothole bigger than Montana that reminded me that this baby was coming.

"Ouch," I complained. "We have to do something about this road. It's not too pleasant for a pregnant woman, you know." I held on to the "oh-shit" handle of the car and braced myself for the rough ride. Our cabin was deep in the woods and a smooth, concrete drive wasn't an option. We both liked the naturalness of the dirt road we had, but trying to get somewhere on it now when I was hurting made me change my mind.

"I'll add that to the honey-do list and take care of the road before we have our next child," Jacob said smiling while he concentrated on the road. Just looking at him smile in a time like this helped take away the pain just a bit, and it wasn't long before we made it to the paved road. It wouldn't be too much longer before we'd be at my family's home where everyone was staying, waiting anxiously for this very moment. They all began their trek back to Forks from various places around the globe a few weeks ago, knowing the baby would be here soon.

"Aaaahhh," I screamed as I felt vice grips being clamped around my round belly when we finally pulled into the driveway.

"Let's get you inside." I heard my husband say to me, but it sounded distant as everything became foggy.

"How is she?" I heard a calming voice that wasn't my husband's. No matter how much pain I was in, I would never mistake the voice of my father.

"She's hurting really bad, Edward. One minute she's fine, and then the next, she's not really here," Jacob said. His voice trembled with worry.

"Let's get her upstairs to Carlisle," my father instructed.

I felt Jacob's arms pull me to his chest when he carried me through the house bridal style. I couldn't open my eyes because I'd surely let those around know just how much pain I felt. The desperation there would surely give it away. It didn't help that I couldn't see anyway, even if they were open. Thinking back to the hundreds of baby books I read during pregnancy, I decided to imagine a happy place to mentally deal with the contractions.

Then a hand that wasn't Jacob's stroked my hair.

"Oh, Renesmee. Everything will be okay," the smooth voice reassured.

My father's calming manner took my mind away to a place and time when it was just my dad and me, rocking on the front porch swing of the cabin, feeling excitement over this baby. The excruciating pain drifted away and the panicked voices in the room dissipated until I saw the two of us not that long ago…

"All right, little nudger," I heard myself say to my belly.

"The baby is doing well today I take it?" my dad asked, giving me a smile that warmed my very soul as he walking up the front steps for his daily visit.

"Yes, Dad. He or she is doing great. I think it's just as excited as I am." I gave him a contented smile back.

"May I feel?" he asked, finding a spot next to me. I watched as his eyebrow arched and his golden eyes twinkled. Being a grandfather looked good on him.

"Of course! It's your grandchild. I just don't like strangers touching my belly in the middle of the grocery story. It's just creepy." My father laughed. "Did you ever think such a thing were possible?" I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the miracle moving and growing inside me.

"I didn't think  _you_  were possible, and here you are. I'll never think the impossible again." I watched as his granite hand moved slowly to my stomach, close to where the baby rested. His pace was deliberate, almost human. It was as if he didn't want to miss anything by going at his normal, vampire pace. My heart skipped a beat when I watched my father cock his head to the side. I knew that look well because I'd seen it all my life.

He heard something.

I held my breath as his hand inched around my small, swollen belly; the swinging had ceased, and we were unaware of anything else in the world.

"Wow," he whispered, looking as if a tear could escape his eyes.

Placing my hand on top of his, I used no words. I figured that he was using his gift, and I could follow suit.

_Can you hear the baby?_

As he nodded his head yes, I felt my cheek become wet from a single tear. He definitely could hear the baby.

"What a sweet baby you have in there."

"I can't... believe it. Tell me what you hear," I asked quickly, unable to control my excitement.

"The feeling I get is not as strong as it was with you, of course, but I do feel something. The baby is aware of you and Jacob, but I only get glimpses of small pictures. That's all, though, but they're amazing. I wish I could describe this to you."

He didn't have to tell me anything else. It made me content knowing that my child was safe and sound.

Unexpectedly, my father surprised me by leaning down to my belly.

"Hi there, little one. It's Grandpa."

It didn't take a second before I felt a second tear follow the first one, but soon the image began to disappear and my memory faded into a dark corner of my mind. Then suddenly a bright light appeared, and the happy moment was completely gone.

I must have been taken upstairs where the birthing room had already been prepared. I saw my grandfather as he stepped in front of the blinding, white light. I had been blessed with one moment of peace, and now I was staring into my grandfather's determined eyes, bracing myself because I knew another bout of pain would surface soon.

"All right. Let's have a baby, shall we?" He pushed up his sleeves and began barking orders that I soon couldn't make out because the baby felt like it began to claw at me from the inside again. How could something I loved so much already cause me so much pain?

Jacob put me down on the hospital bed gently and took my hands in his. "Are you ready, baby?"

I nodded, answering him because words wouldn't form. I took a few deep breaths and rode out the rest of the contraction. Even though this experience had me wanting to postpone the birth to a later date, looking into Jacob's eyes made me change my mind. I was determined to become a mother and make him a father today.

I focused on the feeling of him rubbing my back as I rested on the bed and quietly listened to the rustling of my grandfather and dad getting everything ready. I honed in on Jacob's heartbeat and listened to the baby's as well. The two hearts beating in tandem made beautiful music, allowing me relax. By the time the next wave of agony came, I was already gone again, taking my mind somewhere else away from the hurting, away from reality. The baby would be here soon, but I wanted to think about another time when it was just me and Jacob- back to the day I told him I'd be his forever…

"Are you ready, Renesmee? You have a very anxious groom waiting on you." My father spoke in his cool tone. I didn't know how he could always be so level-headed when I was a basket case on the inside. I could hear the wind whip through the small white tent that hid us from the crowd and from the one person I didn't want to see me until the ceremony-Jacob.

"I'm ready. I've been ready, but I'm suddenly really nervous, Dad. How did you and mom do this so easily?" I asked, rubbing the blue, velvet ribbon of my bouquet.

He smirked a bit, and his eyes danced at my remark. He ran his fingers through his always messy hair.

"It wasn't that easy for us. I was ready to marry your mother the moment I knew I loved her; she, however, took a little more convincing. In fact, she took a lot of convincing. But if she of all people can walk down the aisle, then you can, too. She was more of a mess than you are right now. I better correct myself; she was a  _beautiful mess_ ," he voiced. He looked around to make sure my mom was nowhere around, realizing she could take his comment the wrong way, putting him in the proverbial doghouse.

Breathing deeply, I took my hand and placed it on his shoulder. I stood amazed at what was about to happen. Getting here seemed so simple, so right. A year ago, I didn't think I'd ever find the one for me-the one who was my perfect match. But yet, here I was, standing on First Beach about to marry my soulmate.

As soon as the news of our engagement spread through the reservation, they all went to work as they always did on such occasions. There was so much to do to get ready for the wedding of their chief. No detail would be spared in planning for the ceremony and party that would follow. And having a whole pack of always-starving wolves meant that the preparation of the food was essential.

There was to be a feast, and it'd be a large one. The hunting, fishing, and shopping had begun once word spread of Jacob's proposal. Since he'd lost his mother, one of the more prominent women in the tribe, Sue Clearwater, became in charge of the event, taking care of the traditions the Quileutes had followed for generations.

There was weaving of the baskets by the younger girls, and older women took to the important task of weaving the wedding blanket. It was as important to their Native American tradition as the rings were to the Anglos. Events like a wedding were the perfect opportunity for the elders to pass down the ways of the old to the young. The reservation was all a buzz with the excitement of one of their favorite son's betrothal, and I knew our wedding was in good hands. My only desire was to be married to Jacob; the details didn't matter.

A picture of my love making with Jacob the first time we met flashed in my head unexpectedly as I waited to walk down the aisle. My father squeezed his eyes closed, trying to push out the mental picture he'd just received.

"Sorry, Dad." I forgot how my mother had tried not to shield my mind so much from my father, at my request. I'd realized how much I'd miss out on when my mother shielded me from him. It was a strange connection my father and I had, but using our two gifts together was a special bond that I didn't want to give up completely.

"I should be used to your thoughts of Jacob by now, but I'm not. You just finish getting ready, so I can walk you down to Jacob. Just try and be good to your old man and not think things like that. I don't know if my dead heart can take it," he confessed. "Better yet, let's get that mom of yours to work her magic and let me stay out of your head today."

"Okay, I'm ready now." I glanced down at my simple but elegant A-line, strapless gown one last time, inspecting the chiffon material that flowed around my legs to my bare feet.

I didn't worry about my hair because I opted to leave it down and let my curls flow around my face-the way Jacob liked it. "I don't know what you've been waiting on. Let's go get married," I declared as I took my father's arm. Rosalie and Alice met us outside of the tent as my father escorted me out from my little hideout. The breeze began blowing my hair across my face and was glad I decided not to wear a veil. I soon forgot about the wind because what I saw before me left me stunned, and I was unable to take another step.

Scattered along the white sands of First Beach looked to be the entire population of the reservation dressed in their traditional garb, standing proud. Sprinkled amongst them were a few Quileutes dressed in modern clothes, signifying the blending of the new ways with the old. Jacob's father sat proudly in his wheelchair, looking stoic and ready to marry me to his son.

With my father's help, I was able to put one foot in front of the other and soon began to process to the steady beat of double-headed drums. I listened to a high-pitched flute that was accompanied by the lone voice of one of the Quileute men. The beauty of the moment made my heart almost pound out of my chest. I gripped my father's arm tighter, knowing I needed strength to make it to my Jacob.

"Take a deep breath, sweetheart. This is your moment. Enjoy it." I heard my father's voice, but his message was hard to take to heart because I became even more overwhelmed as my family came into view.

All of them were dressed in white clothing, contrasting sharply with Jacob's people in their colorful dress. The difference was startling, but representative of Jacob and me. This beautiful dark-skinned, black-headed man loved this pale-skinned, redhead. What a sight we must be to everyone, but none of that mattered anymore. He imprinted on  _me_. He loved  _me_. He chose  _me_.

It was surreal as I watched Rosalie and Alice enter the circle, wearing their simple, knee-length dresses. They both chose strapless, cornflower blue ones that looked gorgeous on them. They made Billy blush a bit when they stood close to him for the ceremony. On the other side of the altar, I saw Paul and Seth who were dressed in casual, dark jackets and slacks without ties. As I watched Paul tugging at his collar, something stirred behind the him.

Out from behind the groomsmen appeared my groom. I gulped, drinking him in from head to toe and was enamored by the way he looked in his suit and tie. I no longer saw or heard anything else, and my fingers became languid. I didn't even notice that my flowers dropped in the sand until a young child in the congregation quickly gathered the bouquet, and I blindly took it in my hands. My eyes focused only on the man before me.

Jacob was about to become my husband, and the enormity of our commitment was hitting me like a two-by-four. I loved him more than anything, and the thought of spending forever with him as his wife has caused me to lose my self-control.

Then he smiled his smile and gave me his brooding stare. Not only did my body become Jello, but my mind did as well. I immediately began thinking of what I want to do to him on our wedding night just from one look from him.

My father squeezed my hand and whispered, "Renesmee, you have eternity to spend with him but only one wedding. Focus on what's happening right now, and you'll have him all to yourself soon enough." I knew my father wished now he'd gotten the let's-shield-our-daughter's-dirty-thoughts-about-Jacob message to my mom.

We finally made our way to the altar after what seemed to be the world's longest walk. I kept holding my father's arm tightly and listened to Billy ask my father one of the hardest questions he'd ever have to answer.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" asked Billy, his voice laced with seriousness.

My father swallowed the obvious lump in his throat before he answered.

"Her mother and I do."

With his answer, my father took my hand and placed it in Jacob's. His goodbye kiss on my cheek lingered a bit, and he spoke quietly before taking his place with my mother, "You will always be my little girl. I love you, Renesmee."

Jacob took my hand, and we both faced Billy, which relieved me a bit. Looking at Jacob again would cause me to become a puddle of goo, and I wanted to get through the ceremony without having to be cleaned up with a wet-vac. Jacob's thumb reassuringly traced circles on my arm, sending tiny flames in its wake as Billy began the ceremony with a blessing.

"Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time does pass, remember: like a star should your love be constant. Like a stone should your love be firm. Be close, yet not too close. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with the other; for storms will come, but they will go quickly. Be free in giving of affection and warmth. Make love often, and be sensuous to one another. Have no fear, and let not the ways of words of the unenlightened give you unease. For the Great Spirit is with you, now and always."

As if rehearsed a thousand times, my mother and Jacob's sisters Rachel and Rebecca stood in the direction of Billy and lay the the hand-woven baskets full of things which represented something important to our marriage down by the altar. Mine was then given to Jacob, and his was given to me.

Billy began another blessing, but I didn't hear him. He even had a few elders of the tribe speak, but I only saw their lips moving and heard noises intermittently around me-like the noises the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons made.

But what I did hear was the ocean lapping on the sand, and above it all, I heard the heartbeat of Jacob. His steady rhythm kept me grounded and pushed me through the next part of our ceremony. We both turned to one another, and we began repeating the sacred vows to love and cherish one another.

"I, Jacob Black, take you, Renesmee Carlie, Cullen, to be my wife. I do solemnly avow my love for you. I will comfort you keep you, love you, defend you in sickness or in health, in riches or poverty, in sorrow or joy, seeking only to be with you until death parts us. All these things I pledge upon my honor..."

"I, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, take you, Jacob Black, to be my husband. I do solemnly avow my love for you. I will comfort you keep you, love you, defend you in sickness or in health, in riches or poverty, in sorrow or joy, seeking only to be with you until death parts us. All these things I pledge upon my honor..."

Billy held up two silver bands in his hands, one large and one small and gave them each a sacred blessing. I felt overjoyed as Jacob slipped his ring on my finger. I was finally his in every sense. We let our hands linger together, keeping them from separating.

"Father Sky and Mother Earth, creator and nurturer of all life, we give heartfelt thanks for the moment that brought Jacob and Renesmee together in the Holy State of Marriage... Aho!"

Billy screamed the "Aho!" and the congregation followed suit. My mother and Jacob's sister appeared again with the hand-woven blanket made in varying shades of blue. They took the blanket and wrapped it around Jacob and me, my mother tying it together around us, symbolizing our union.

Billy then belted out the last part of the ceremony, the part I most cherished because I was now Jacob's wife.

"Now as you Jacob and you Renesmee have consented together in matrimony and have pledged your faith to each other by the giving and the receiving of these rings before your family and community; according to the powers vested in me by the State of Washington. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride, my son."

Wrapped together in the blanket, I turned to face Jacob; my breasts pushed against him as we prepared to kiss. My own private sunshine beamed as he brushed my loose hair away from my face, keeping his fingers on my skin, causing me to shiver. His other hand cupped my chin, and he bent down slowly. I watched as his smile faded, and his eyes seemed to darken. His passion enveloped my lips, and I gladly received him. His other arms wrapped itself around me to keep me standing upright. We were no longer two separate people floating through life, struggling to stay together. We were one with each other, having been joined together under the big sky of the Great Spirit.

I reluctantly pulled away from my husband when I heard Billy announce, "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black."

The guests erupted in applause, and I stood stunned, amazed that I was finally married to the one that loved me. I'd wandered do long through my short life searching for something that made sense.

And then I found Jacob.

A half-vampire and her shape-shifting mate-made total sense to me.

"Are you ready for our reception, Mrs. Black?" My Jacob asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"I'm ready as long as you are with me," I answered back.

"Always," he whispered as he kissed my hand. We made our way, as if floating on a cloud, to the limo waiting on us to take us to the grand party.

~o~O~o~ JPOV ~o~O~o~

_Mother Fucker._

I don't know why I even agreed to leave that room. Watching her writhe in pain each time a contraction hit hurt me to the core. I could almost feel her pain, that was the blessing and the curse of the imprint. We were bound by so much more than our need for one another. Her pain became mine, and I wanted to take it away from her so badly it hurt.

"Ahhhh!"

I could hear the voice of my imprint through the door as if she were right next to me. I doubled over on the tile floor, grabbing my knees as I pulled them to my chest. I was going crazy and couldn't do anything about it. She told me she needed me out of the room. I understood why. It just didn't make it any easier. There was only one thing keeping me from bursting through the door and being by her side-my imprint's wishes.

Someone would be opening her womb in the most unnatural way-with their teeth. I knew there was a risk of me drop-kicking either Edward or Carlisle when they would have to do their job. It was physically impossible for me to let anyone hurt my Ness, even if they weren't really meaning to hurt her.

"Carlisle... Please... Do it now!"

Ness' voice was imperative, calling the shots in her delivery room. It made me smile-almost. She didn't realize it, but she called the shots with me, too. I may be the Alpha of my pack, chief of my tribe, husband to Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black, but one thing was for sure. I did whatever the hell she told me to do.

Another scream blasted through the walls, and my attempt at smiling was over before it began.

I ran my fingers through my hair and gripped my head to my knees. How the hell could I get through this? My everything was being ripped apart by my child, and I was helpless and could do nothing. I watched a drop of sweat hit the floor, and my 108 degree body felt like it was on fire.

I ran to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. The cool felt good on my overheated skin, and I finally felt like I could breathe. I glanced in the mirror, searching the frightened eyes of the man in the reflection. What was I worried about? Everything I needed was on the other side of the door. My whole world rested with and within her, my Renesmee. I took a deep breath and averted my eyes in the mirror. I couldn't take seeing what I looked like.

But soon, I forced a glance back at the mirror and wondered,  _What would I do without her_?

My mind couldn't even go there, and suddenly, as if like magic, a memory rushed in. It made me travel back in time to a place when we were both so in love and care free. All we had was our future, and it looked as wide-open with hope as the skies of the Arizona desert.

I let myself dive into the reverie, not wanting to leave the solace of the feeling it gave. I heard my voice talking to my bride, and soon I began to relive one of my favorite moments with my then brand-new wife…

"I never thought we would ever get out of there," I said as I crammed myself into the limo.

"Everyone just wanted to say congratulations to us. That's all. I thought it was kind of nice," Ness responded in her sweet but sultry voice.

Our wedding had not been over for ten minutes, and I was already acting impatient, wanting my bride all to myself. I couldn't give a fuck about the reception. I had the most beautiful woman here next to me, and I didn't want to share her with anyone else.

"I wish they all could've read my mind because all I could think about was getting you into the limo... alone." My words barely escaped my lips before I moved to my knees onto the floor of the limo. I pushed Ness up against the back seat , opening her legs and pushing myself between them.

"Damn, all this material. How am I supposed to find you underneath all of this." I was helpless, trying to maneuver my way through the bottom of her wedding dress. Without any luck of finding her sweet pussy through the layers of material, I gave up and decided I'd head for her tits that have been teasing me through the whole ceremony.

"Jacob Black, I can't believe you. You were so poised through the whole ceremony and now look at you, trying to get me naked already." My hands cupped both her breasts, squeezing them. In doing so, my dick got harder from just feeling her soft flesh underneath my hands.

"Yeah, I'm a pretty good actor. I wanted to steal you away as soon as your father began walking you down the aisle. I couldn't help it. You look so amazing. You should know by now that I want you all the time, Ness."

With those words, I pushed the strapless dress down, so I could expose her perfectly round tits. It didn't take but a millisecond before my lips sucked on one of her taut nipples. I could hear her breathing hitch just a bit as I nipped a little at it. I had to pull away, only to say something to her.

"I want you so bad right now, Mrs. Black."  _Damn_. I loved calling her that already.

"Can't you wait until after our reception like most people do?" she asked.

"Um, no," I said without hesitation. "If you want me to be fondling you and making inappropriate comments in front of our family and friends throughout the entire reception, then we can wait." I just laid it on the line for her. If my inner wolf could be satisfied here, then the horny wolf that could be quite embarrassing would be satiated for a while.

She quickly grabbed my head between her hands and turned my direction to the front of the limo. "Jacob, we are in a limo, and there's a driver watching everything we are doing. I'm not one to put on a show, if you know what I mean," she whispered through gritted teeth, and I finally got why she was the slightest bit hesitant. She wanted our intimate moments to stay just that way.

"He can't see through that window, Ness." I could tell she didn't believe me. "Swear to God. I don't want anyone watching you either. I wouldn't be attacking you if I knew he was looking."

She should have known by now that I would do anything to protect her.

With my words of assurance, her lips were crashing into mine with a blunt force that almost knocked me backwards.

It took me only a second to let her be the dominant one in this moment. It was humorous how I was the one who was begging her to make love a few seconds ago, and now she was the one kissing me like she hadn't seen me in years. My hands traveled over the soft skin of her back, and I couldn't help but engulf her in my arms.

Her mouth left mine, and I inhaled as her lips trailed down my neck. My pulse was wild; I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and I could hear hers as well. My keen hearing even picked up on my blood pulsing through my body with every pounding heartbeat. Leaning my head to the side, I let her explore and lick anywhere she wanted. I noticed that her breathing quickened while her mouth hovered mere centimeters above my skin, seeming to hesitate a bit. The scent of her arousal thickened in the air, making my dick hurt with wanting her.

Then it happened-the small prick of pain followed by overwhelming euphoria. Whatever she had done shocked and surprised me but turned me on beyond belief.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, as I had just witnessed the most sexy thing she'd ever done. Her pink tongue slowly licked my blood from her swollen lips.  _Fuck. Me_. She looked at me with those innocent eyes, waiting for my response.

I gave her one-without words, at least.

My lips were on hers, tasting my blood on her tongue. This wolf suddenly became a fan of being bitten by a vampire.

She pulled away again, and I felt like I was going to explode. If she were going to taste me again, she was going to have to let me be pounding into her while she did. But instead of feeling a small twinge of pain, I felt her, licking the wound as she sighed in pleasure.

"It's already healing," she breathed as her breasts heaved up and down. "You liked that?"

"What do you think?" I smiled.

"I can do it more, if you want. You taste so good to me."

"I'm pretty sure you could drain me dry, and I'd die a happy man," I said as serious as a heart attack. I smirked a little, thinking that If my pack brothers heard that, I'd be dead before you could turn around.

"How do you propose we do this?" she asked, patting the somewhat poofy dress of hers.

"Don't worry. You stay right there." I took the material of her dress and moved it up as much as I could, taking my hands and sliding them up her thighs to the Promised Land. I found the lace I'd been searching for and maneuvered them down her shapely legs. I couldn't help but put the panties laced with her heady scent in my pocket. "I'd like to have these as a souvenir, if you don't mind." I was such a sentimental son-of-a-bitch.

"As long as you don't charge the nerdy boys at the school dance a dollar to see them in the boy's bathroom," she said with a smile.

"You won't have to worry about that," I respond while taking off my belt. To my surprise, she began to help, and used her speed to have my pants down my legs in no time at all.

"Mr. Black?" She mewed, taking her slender fingers to palm my dick and balls at once. I might have cursed a bit, but those were my only words. I couldn't acknowledge her because her touch rendered me dumb. She slowly stroked me back and forth, making me realize from day one that she had me by the balls, but in a good way.

"Mr. Black, your wife needs you now."

And that was all it took for me find her underneath her dress and be inside her. We both let out a moan the moment I entered her. She was so tight and would always be. I began taking her hard, claiming her. I'd already claimed her not long after the moment we met, but now she was my wife. I didn't realize how much committing myself to another person if front of God and family would solidify what Ness and I already shared. It was fucking amazing.

The love making was fast and fierce, almost primal. I knew I was being rough, but my inner wolf couldn't help it. The culmination of our lives hit at this moment. She was my everything-my imprint, my lover, my wife. Her body seemed to enjoy how hard I was taking her, but I still had to ask.

"This okay?"

Her eyes opened, and she looked so beautiful against the dark seat of the limo. She moaned my name in front of me, letting me know she was all right.

"Jacob. Oh. I'm. Almost..." I watched her hands take the sides of my face while she raised her body to become flush with mine."...I'm. Almost. There."

I couldn't lie, I was about to come, too. Listening to her cry out my name did that to me. I began to feel the tightening in my balls, and I knew I was close, but something hit me as it happened. Something I'd never felt before.

I suddenly felt a surge of pleasure overtake my body, way more than ever before. I could hear and feel everything Ness was going through in this moment. I realized then she was projecting her own orgasm to me.

"Shit, Ness." I couldn't speak. My body had been taken over by my imprint's gratification, and we both came within seconds of one another. I became limp in her arms, and I was happy, knowing this was where I'd get to spend eternity.

"Mrs. Black. You have outdone yourself tonight," I whispered to her, reveling in my complete bliss…

"Ahhh!"

My reverie was interrupted by her screams again. I glanced at my watch, wondering how long I'd been lost in my own mind. Her screams now were unlike anything I'd ever heard, and I've heard it all being the Alpha of a wolfpack. I realized the reason I had the uncontrollable urge to protect her was to keep from hearing those kinds of distressing noises out of her mouth. I'd do anything to keep her from the agony of what she was going through at this moment. It dawned on me that my frustration wasn't that she didn't want me in the room with her, but it was that I had no control. I had no control over the pregnancy, the birth, or the pain. It hurt to know that it was my job to protect her, and I was failing miserably right now. It felt like I was suffocating in the small bathroom.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out and run. My feeling of uselessness was going to destroy me.

I slammed the bathroom door behind me and was almost to the stairs when I heard a voice behind me.

"Jacob." Edward's voice crawled over my skin me like nails on a chalkboard.

I turned slowly, not hiding my obvious anger and frustration with the situation.

"I thought you'd like to know before you left, that you have a son."

And then the force that kept me standing upright quickly stopped doing its job, and I was to my knees. In between my deep breaths, I listened to the sounds around me. I no longer heard the tortured screams of my wife, but I heard a sound that pulled at my heart, reeling me in to a point where all I could hear were its cries.

I heard my son.

~o~O~o~ NPOV ~o~O~o~

A few hours later, Jacob held the baby in his arms, and no one could be more proud than he. The evidence of his love was smeared all over his face with the biggest smile. I also noticed a tear spilling onto his cheek.

Exhausted but happy, I smiled at my husband and the beautiful picture I saw before me.

"Do you want to hold him?" Jacob asked.

I didn't hesitate in wanting to hold my child, even though I'd just been through hell. My body was already healing itself, but bringing our child into this world would be something I wouldn't forget for a long while. I think I must have added a few chapters to the natural childbirth section of some books.

"Ness, what do you think we should name him?" I felt the bed shift as he sat on the edge with our baby in his arms, holding him out for me to take. I instinctively, as a mother and not a vampire, held him close to my breast and took a deep breath of his sweet scent.

I looked at my baby for a long time and thought about this precious gift we'd been given and how often I grieved because I thought this was a moment that would pass me by. The little one slowly opened his eyes, looking in my direction. I couldn't help but fall in love again as I looked into the dark eyes of our boy. It didn't take long before the perfect name came to mind.

"What do you think about William?"

Jacob didn't speak for a while. He shifted in his chair and stroked my cheek with his warm hand. "I don't think there's any other name that would fit him better than that one. My dad's chest is going to swell, you know."

"I know." I tried to keep my eyes open to keep looking at my Jacob and hold my little boy, but staying awake was too difficult. "I think I need to rest."

"It's okay, baby. You sleep. Dream about how much I love you, okay?" Jacob kissed me on my lips several times and took William from my arms.

I drifted away quickly into my own private happiness. I no longer needed to dream after I shut my eyes... Because all my dreams were right here in front of me.

~o~O~o~

_The end_


End file.
